Lunch Break, the Office Lady on the Next Bench

Even though the sky was a piercing blue, my heart was covered in thick, leaden clouds.
Only the cool sensation of the asphalt told me that my feet were still on the ground.
The events of this morning kept replaying in my mind like an endless nightmare.

"The numbers are off by one digit!"

The client's angry voice echoed at the delivery site.
This was exactly what it meant to have the blood drain from one's face.
When I hurried back to the office, a cold atmosphere hung around my desk.
The exasperated gazes of my colleagues, who were busy cleaning up after me, pierced me like countless needles.
To top it all off, there was my boss's low voice, making no attempt to hide his disappointment: "What are you going to do about this?"
By now, the only breathing I was allowed was a shallow sigh.

✅ Didn't want to eat in the department, so I went to the park

Even when the chime signaling noon rang out, I couldn't summon the energy to leave my seat.
I just stared blankly at the backs of my colleagues heading toward the company cafeteria, which should have been lively as always.
There was no place for me in that circle right now.
My failure was surely the perfect topic for gossip.
That thought tightened my stomach into a knot.

Unable to sit still, I grabbed the bag with the sandwich I'd bought at the convenience store and fled the office as if escaping.
I headed for a small park in a corner of the office district.
Existing as if forgotten in the valley between buildings, that place felt like my only refuge right now.

There was a large wooden bench next to a planter filled with colorful flowers.
I sat down on the edge of it, feeling as dejected as if the world were ending.
I didn't even feel like opening the sandwich bag; I just looked down at my own toes.
Why did I neglect such a simple check?
How much trouble had I caused for so many people because of me?
I sank deeper and deeper into a swamp of self-loathing.
I'm scared to go back to the office.
No, maybe I don't even have the right to go back anymore.
It was when that thought crossed my mind.

✅ The words of wisdom from the office lady next to me

"Um, if you'd like..."

Suddenly, a gentle voice addressed me.
When I looked up, a woman was sitting on the other end of the bench before I knew it.
She was wearing the uniform of the building next door, perhaps a little older than me.
She was also holding a cute lunch box in her hands.

"You looked like you were having a really hard time. I'm sorry if I'm being intrusive."

She said that and smiled softly.
That smile was as gentle as the sunlight filtering through the trees in early summer, and it pried open the door to my tense heart just a little bit.
I began to talk about this morning's failure, bit by bit, as if a dam had broken.
I told her how foolish I was and what an irreparable thing I had done.

After listening to me for a while, she nodded quietly and said this.

"That sounds tough. But, could you listen to me for a second? There are only two types of people in this world who don't make mistakes."
"Two types...?"
"Yes. One is someone who hasn't been born yet. And the other is someone who is no longer in this world. In other words, as long as you are alive, you will inevitably make mistakes."

Her words seemed to sink right into me.

"And one more thing. The mistake you made happened precisely because you were the one in charge of that work, right?"
"...Yes. I was in charge."
"If so, that is proof that you 'challenged' that work. Mistakes don't even happen at the desks of people who do nothing. And here is the most important part."

She paused for a moment, looked me straight in the eyes, and said:

"Because you made a mistake, the people around you are likely moving right now to cover for you. That is proof that the organization hasn't given up on you. No one bothers to pick up after a mistake made by someone who is truly unnecessary. They just let that person disappear. People say that being scolded is a sign of being valued, and it's true. Having people who scold you, colleagues who are exasperated with you, and teammates who run around fixing things—that is the best proof that you are not a 'foreign object' to that organization, but a 'part' of it."

She told me that she, too, once made a huge mistake that shook her company's system to its core.
She couldn't sleep for days and even considered quitting.
But at that time, her boss, whom she thought was just annoying, stayed up all night working with her to restore the system.
He told her, "We'll fill the hole you dug. So you just think about what to do next." She told me that those words saved her.

✅ The fact that I am actually needed

As I listened to her story, I felt as if a ray of light had pierced through my leaden heart.

That's right. The customer wasn't angry at me as an individual, but at the person in charge representing the company.
Behind my boss's disappointment, there might have been a sense of letdown that only existed because they trusted my usual work performance.
Even my colleagues, who were exasperated, are now facing the extra work caused by my mistake without a single complaint.

I wasn't working alone.
Everyone is now desperately trying to fill the big hole I left behind.
I am part of that circle.
I may be a troublemaker who caused a problem, but I am undoubtedly a member of that place.

What I really need to do is not sit here in this park with my knees pulled to my chest. I need to return to the office, apologize from the bottom of my heart, and think about what I can do to turn this failure into fuel for the future.

Thank you.

Before I knew it, I was bowing deeply.
I don't know her name or her department.
But her words melted my heart more than any consolation could, and gave me the strength to stand up again.

No problem. Good luck with the rest of your afternoon.

She said that with a gentle smile, closed her lunch box, stood up, and disappeared into the building with a brisk air.

I took one bite of my still-cold sandwich and put the rest in my bag.
As I stood up from the bench, I felt my legs, which had been so heavy just a moment ago, feeling a little lighter.
The sunlight filtering through the trees in the park looked as if it were a spotlight, illuminating the path I needed to return to.

Perhaps being 'needed' by someone doesn't just mean continuing to achieve perfect success.
It means having a place that accepts your imperfections—the times you fail, struggle, and still try to look forward.
And it means having the courage to forgive that imperfect self and start walking again.
The chime signaling the end of the lunch break sounded to me today like a gong signaling the start of the afternoon.
Well, time to lift my head and go back to the office.
My seat should still be there.

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