[Creative Awards] My 2026 Path: After Submitting 50 Works Across All Categories Last Year and Writing Feedback for Every Single One

Looking back, I feel like the Creative Awards were the center of my life for the entire six-month period from the announcement in April to October.

This year, I will walk a different path.

I thought I was used to rejection.
After the Creative Awards results were announced, I felt burned out, and while I was mindlessly stuffing snacks into my mouth in a daze, I actually gained 5 kilograms in just one month.

I am going to write about my 2025 and my 2026.

Recently, my mornings begin with making bento boxes.

I wake up around 6:00 AM and finish making my husband's bento for the sake of saving money and staying healthy.

I prepare breakfast for my children and get myself ready at a minimum.
When they had morning classes, I used to walk them to the entrance and head straight to a cafe or library, but lately, just walking part of the way with them is all I can manage.

The yellow backpack covers are slowly getting further away. The fluorescent color is dazzling. The uneven height difference between the sister and brother.

Around the waterway, wildflowers like Kenilworth ivy and fireweed are swaying in the wind. I can hear the skylarks.

Even though it is a beautiful spring day, for some reason I feel lonely as I slowly make my way home.

Once home, I finally have my breakfast.
Even though the period from graduation to spring break, which lasted nearly a month, has ended, for some reason I don't feel like going outside.
Perhaps I am the one least accustomed to the schedule of this new life.

Until my husband leaves for work, I do chores and cleaning while chatting about the kids, movies, dramas, or other trivial things.
Because there is no time limit, I end up dragging things out.
Before I know it, it's past 12:00. I haven't gotten any work done, yet it's almost time for pickup.

And then, a night spent running around all day.
Around 10:00 PM, I get into bed. I play the sound of water and set a timer for it to turn off.
As I drift into a slumber, I feel anxious, wondering if I am actually a night owl rather than a morning person, and if I can really focus with this amount of sleep.

It is completely different from last year.

Last year, from April to July, I was writing every single day, no matter what.

There were times I wrote until midnight, or even until dawn.
I had plenty of ideas, but since I was building everything one character at a time, I ran out of time, and there were many things I couldn't finish.

After the kids went to sleep, I sat at my computer, completely absorbed in my work.

For example, 'Transparent Noise,' which passed the screening, didn't even have a plot.
I had my followers choose the key station name in the story from four options on social media, visited the location, and thought about various things while walking around.

Thinking, researching, and going to see things.
That was how I did it, just doing my absolute best to finish writing.

Little by little, people started writing feedback for me.

Feeling happy, I decided to return the favor by reading all of the works submitted by those who gave me feedback, as far as I could find them, and writing feedback for them until the end.

My sleep time kept disappearing.
But I have a sort of motto: if someone is kind to me, I want to return the favor tenfold.

Reading was purely enjoyable.
Furthermore, putting into words what I felt, rather than ending it with a single word like "it was interesting," became a learning experience.

7:00 AM—I wake up being shaken by my daughter, who had started doing morning activities.
My head is pounding. After sending my daughter off, I sit in the morning kitchen and just stare blankly.

Eventually, I wake up my son, send him to kindergarten, and head straight to the library, a coworking space, or a cafe to somehow finish my work and write my pieces.

When the children fell asleep, I faced the computer again. Often, I would end up falling asleep while leaning back against my chair.

Having passed the preliminary selection in this way, I waited for news while feeling restless.

Around that time, I had started walking for weight loss due to a certain trigger. I would leave the house just as my husband returned.

Only when I was walking alone at night could I forget my anxious feelings. However, in the end, there was no word.

I thought I was used to failing public submissions.

But usually, I made sure not to get hung up on a single submission. I would give it my all when writing, but by starting on the next piece immediately after submitting, I made sure I could think, "There is still a next time."

I think the reason I burned out after that is probably because I had bet too much of myself on it.

Even now, I feel proud of those three months.
But this year, I decided to cherish "my time" a little more.

First, regarding writing.

To revise and submit past works that didn't pass last year.
To release the things I have been keeping on the back burner.

Next, regarding reading.

I will be taking a break from writing feedback this year. I will read within a comfortable range.

To be honest, I have to confess that I find it quite difficult to read on note.

There is a reason for this. Precisely because these are works written seriously by people I interact with, I cannot just read them casually in between other things.

I feel that in order to read them thoroughly, I need an environment where I can properly engage with them and a flat, neutral mindset. I have a desire to sit up straight and read them with focus, even more so than when reading magazines or books.

I think I burned out precisely because I enjoyed it with all my might last year. It is obvious, but effort does not always correlate with results. Perhaps it just wasn't enough, or maybe the direction was wrong.

There is no end to such thoughts. In addition to that, my situation is different from last year, when the children were out of the house from 9:30 to 15:30. While the total number of hours is surprisingly similar, considering the tricky time slot of 7:30 to 14:30, it is difficult to go anywhere specifically for the sake of my work.

Therefore, I intend to take a step back this year and enjoy things quietly.

Not limited to creative work, my theme for this year is 'living time for myself'.

I am giving up on submitting many entries or writing feedback, and instead, for example, reading books at the library on rainy days without working, or taking my time to cook lunch slowly.

I want to focus on the fact that I am living right here, right now.

At least at this moment, that is how I am thinking about it.

▼ All entries from last year.