A story about how a single line of "P.S." suddenly broke the ice

"Getting along with others is important in business, too."

What my boss taught me when I was a new employee still stays with me today.

"What would you do if two people had the same ability?"

My boss's words took me by surprise.

"Let's say there are two business partners, A and B. You get along well with A, but not so much with B. If their abilities are the same, which one would you want to work with?"

"Person A... I suppose."

"Exactly, right?"

She said that with a smile. She was someone I admired. My direct supervisor, who held a management position in her early 30s. Her work was very meticulous and speedy. She was always looking out for those around her. Even when she had to offer criticism, she never made the other person feel bad...

"Small talk has meaning, you know. It makes working together so much easier. It's also important for becoming the kind of person who gets chosen."

Thinking about it now, I believe she was trying to gently warn me in her own way. That's because the workplace was full of people who were "easygoing," and I, being shy and rigid, stood out.

Clerical work suited me. I loved creating detailed tables, compiling manuals, and learning how to use tools and Excel functions! Even tedious tasks like data aggregation didn't bother me.

She told me, "Your strength is that you accept the tedious tasks that others dislike with a smile."

At the time, I thought, "Isn't that just expected...?" but as my career progressed, I came to realize that there are people who avoid tedious tasks, push them onto others, or show their displeasure to their bosses.

Expressing my opinion at work and making phone calls—I'm not good at them. But it wasn't that I couldn't do them.

What I was extremely bad at was talking about things "other than work."

I am not good at talking. I hesitate, thinking that listening to me would be boring. I am also afraid of being asked to repeat myself. I get anxious about what I should ask the other person and how much, and in the end, I remain unable to understand what they are like...

And so, little by little, the distance between us grew.

When the P.S. section changed, work became easier

It has been nearly 10 years since I started working as a freelancer.
There was a time when I thought I wanted to work hard like the boss I admired! But I got tired of human relationships, and that future never came. I had what is called a "marriage resignation," worked part-time for a while after that, and then became a freelancer.

I am now an author of practical lifestyle books.

I am an author... but actually, the work I am commissioned to do is quite diverse. For example, producing planners, calendars, and apps. Supervising magazines. Sometimes I am interviewed.

Most of them are one-off requests.
They end after just a few exchanges.

In such relationships, I hesitated to ask about "things unrelated to work." I am careful to use soft phrasing, but I wonder when it was that I started writing only inorganic emails with absolutely no words other than work-related ones.

Meanwhile, there is a job that I have been continuously involved in for many years.

It is a regular column series.

I have been allowed to write for various media. In the case of a series, there is basically a fixed editor in charge, and I interact with the same person individually over the years.

Among them, there is an editor in charge with whom work has proceeded even more smoothly than before, triggered by a certain event.

P.S. Where are you from?

I believe it was around the time summer vacation was approaching.

I had been working with my editor for several years by then. They were always very polite and professional.

That day, I wrote an email that went something like this.

I usually handle childcare and housework entirely on my own. I don't use daycare, babysitting services, or after-school programs. To ensure I can definitely meet my deadlines during summer vacation, I have made it a habit to write two months' worth of content in advance every year.

On a whim, I decided to add one sentence at the end.

This was because they had mentioned visiting their hometown during summer vacation in a previous email's postscript.

But it felt like small talk, similar to a seasonal greeting. So, it took a bit of courage.

I hesitated, wondering if it was okay to ask about their private life.
I deleted it once, typed it out again, and then, with a burst of resolve, I pressed the send button.

The reason I screamed when I saw the reply

When I saw the reply, I couldn't help but shout, "What?!"

We were from the same hometown.

After that, as a result of exchanging a few messages through the postscripts of our emails, I discovered something astonishing.

My editor and I had attended the same school..

It has been many years since I left my hometown, and until now, I had only ever met people who were from the same region but different towns. To find out that we hadn't just lived in the same area, but had actually attended the same school—it was like a miracle.

I instantly grew to love my editor. That feeling completely overshadowed the professional trust I had already held for them as a business partner.

Eventually, I started adding recent "hometown" anecdotes to the P.S. section.

Back then, I had just left Tokyo and moved to Shikoku, even further away from my hometown. I was incredibly lonely. I had no one to talk to except my family.

I think a big part of it was that the COVID-19 pandemic meant I didn't have the opportunity to make mom friends. It was truly surprising how I had no chance to talk to anyone.

In that situation, I was moved to be able to talk about my local area.

Although I made use of the P.S. section...

This incident led me to start using the "P.S." section in various emails.

I started adding a little something for the recipient.

However, one day, I suddenly became worried. I wondered if it was becoming a burden.

This is because, in the past, there were cases where being too polite made it a hassle to reply.

That person was a wonderful individual. Their consideration could be seen everywhere in their emails. They didn't just copy and paste standard phrases; I received replies that felt personal and sincere.

However, the reason I felt that way was because of their P.S. section every time. It was a long P.S., about the length of five social media posts. It was easy to read because they inserted blank lines. The content was also soft and kind, and I could tell they were writing it after looking at my social media.

But when I was in a hurry, my replies to those emails would be delayed.
That was because I had to read the P.S. section carefully and then think about how to reply to it.

Based on that experience, there are a few things I am careful about when writing a P.S. section.

1. Choose questions that can be answered as simply as possible

Make the content something that doesn't cause trouble if they don't answer. For instance, I thought that if I asked, "Are you going anywhere?" at that point, it would create "thinking time" for the other person.
Therefore, I try to write it so that if they want to talk, they can, and if they don't want to, they can just skip it.

Self-disclosure followed by connecting it to work content is something I found worked well.

2. Aim for around 50 characters

The P.S. section is a place for small talk. That is precisely why I have become careful not to make it too long. The guideline is around 50 characters.

The P.S. section I mentioned earlier was this,

If it were like this, I think it would be hard to read.

3. Design with readability in mind

I am not very good at replying to emails. Why is that...? When I thought about it, I found the reason in an unexpected place. It is that I am not good at "reading things over and over again."

If I look at an email when it arrives and don't understand it immediately, or if the content is complex, it takes time before I can reply in a proper manner.

Although there was a time when my P.S. sections were on the longer side, I have repeated trial and error little by little, and now I am conscious of these things:

・1 P.S. = 1 theme
・Provide information rather than asking questions
・Create places where sentences are short
・Insert plenty of blank lines

This applies to emails as a whole, but I believe that a user-friendly design makes communication easier for both parties.

Once we became friendly, work became much, much smoother.

When the emotional distance between us shortened a little, work became surprisingly easier to move forward.

The biggest change, in particular, was that my response time became faster.

Until then, I had been determined to "write proper, polite emails!" no matter what.

There is a reason for that.

It happened when I was exchanging emails with someone else a while ago.

I sent an email in a hurry while I was out, and I was asked, "Did I do something to offend you...?"

It seems that sending only business-like content made it look like I was angry.

Usually, after I write an email, I review it several times and adjust the phrasing to be softer, but that was probably because I didn't do that.

I had stopped replying while I was out.

Because we were able to become a little closer, the hurdle for replying in a hurry dropped significantly.

Even for business-like content, I try using slightly more casual phrasing, using "!", or incorporating a reply to part of a P.S.

When I do that, it seems the "scariness" that a business-like tone gives off is removed.

However, this approach is difficult with people I don't know well or for one-off requests, for example.

Does the balance between "failure" and "emotion" change once you become close?

Furthermore, I believe there is another change that occurs when you become close. It is that the scope of what you can forgive as a "failure" expands.

I have worked in various capacities, including as a full-time employee, a part-timer, and a freelancer.

During that time, I encountered someone who was extremely harsh toward me and, on top of that, would never reply to my messages until I prompted them every single time.

Their way of speaking was so harsh and unreasonable that I had no choice but to use a somewhat stern tone myself.

I think our relationship was not good.

That person was very strict about my "failures."

Usually, their replies to the emails I sent were slow, or I wouldn't get a reply at all unless I contacted them several times...

Yet, the one time I forgot to reply, I was scolded very severely.

I believe that if our relationship had been good, I wouldn't have been yelled at that much for a single delayed reply.

After all, it wasn't an important matter or an urgent discussion. Besides, they never replied to my emails anyway...

Words that felt like a character assassination followed, and I ended up seriously considering whether or not to quit that job.

In the end, while I was agonizing over it, that person left the company. I didn't quit, and the environment changed into one where I could work comfortably.

When I realized I didn't have to work with that person anymore, I felt relieved. However, I still expressed my gratitude for their help up until then.

There was no reply to that email either—.

Things I am reflecting on

Once I start feeling a sense of dislike, I find myself noticing only the other person's unpleasant traits.

Perhaps that is why a small mistake or a single failure can end up looking like a "very serious error."

Furthermore, these days, many interactions happen only through email or phone, making it harder to see that the other person is "a human being just like me."
From their perspective, I might have been nothing more than a "non-human entity like artificial intelligence" on the other side of the computer screen.

But that applies to me as well. Had I not been thinking of them as a "robot attacking me"?
Thoughts like "I'm sure their reply will be late again" or "They're probably going to say something harsh" were always swirling in my head, and I wonder if I ever truly tried to see the person themselves.

If I had reached out a little more, perhaps we could have built a better relationship. That is what I am reflecting on.

Writing this piece made me realize something.
Am I managing to get along even a little bit with the people I am currently working with?

Would it be okay to ask a question unrelated to our work, as long as it doesn't hinder our progress?

For example, about the typhoon the other day. It might be nice to look for some harmless topics like that.