The Reason I Write, Even Though I Can No Longer Read.

Hello, my name is Kirin Kiki, and I am someone who simply loves books.

The "Why I Write" note contest, hosted by editor Hana Fujiwara, has already become a hot topic in this note community.

I felt a restless urge to join in, so I am going to write as well.

Regarding the title, "The Me Who Can No Longer Read," it does not mean that I have gone blind.

I did experience a time when I could no longer read, but it was caused by my own illness.

I already talked about this in a note article titled 'Confession,' so I will just write it here: the diagnosis is 'schizophrenia'.

I don't know how it is now, but over ten years ago, when you searched for it online, there was nothing but bleak information.

But more than that, what shocked me the most was that printed text would no longer enter my mind at all.

I had been a bookworm since I was a child.

I could no longer read the novels I had loved so much.

It was then that I realized it for the first time.

Ah, reading is not just a passive act! Reading is an active activity.

I feel like I learned something about the limitations of printed text.

No matter how wonderful the writing is, it requires the strength of the reader.

Music might slip into your heart, or you might be drawn into a video even if you don't feel like watching it; perhaps printed text lacks that kind of power.

The pen is mightier than the sword

Even my favorite saying, as long as it is text left entirely to the reader, the number of people it can reach is limited.

I can't put it into words well, but I felt despair at the power of printed text.

Why, then, am I still writing?

Even though it won't reach those who lack the power to read.

The answer is simple: it is because
it will reach those it is meant to reach
.

People are unable to understand information they cannot accept, even if it is correct.

I believe that a wonderful reading experience happens when everyone actively reads and feels a spark.

Even if you cannot read now, it just isn't the right time, and that is okay.

The amount I can read has certainly changed since before and after my illness, but as I recover, the texts I savor have also changed.

If it reaches those who need it.

That is the thought with which I write.

Reading is an act that uses more energy than you might think, and it is truly not a passive one.

Thank you for actively reading this far.

I hope that it reaches your heart, whether through empathy or antipathy, not just for those with the same illness.

I am living healthily now, so I hope the message of 'let's do our best at our own pace' reaches you.

As long as there are words I want to convey, I will continue to write.

Since words can be a double-edged sword, I believe that writing them down is better than using a forceful tool, as it allows my words to reach you at the right time.

Sincerely, Yuki

P.S. If a certain word strikes a chord with you, please let me know why.

#Why I write