What I found beyond self-understanding

If you deepen your self-understanding,
・Your hesitation will disappear.
・You will find what you want to do.
・You can live true to yourself.

Believing that, I completed exercises and
filled up my notebooks.

But, at a certain point, I realized something.

The more I deepened my self-understanding,
rather than hesitation disappearing,
I actually found that the things I 'didn't understand' were increasing.

Is this a failure...?
Does it mean I'm still not doing enough...?

I thought that for a while,
but it seems that wasn't the case either.

► Self-understanding isn't an 'answer',
it's something that gives you 'questions'.

As self-understanding deepens, things start to come into view.

The things you value.
The feelings you won't compromise on.
The boundary between a state that feels comfortable and one that doesn't.

But at the same time, questions like these also arise.

“Valuing that, how do I want to live?”
“Even though I thought I understood, why am I still hesitant?”

Self-understanding is not a goal to end hesitation.
It was an entrance
to 'questions' that lie even deeper.

► 'Knowing yourself' and
'how you live' are different stories.

What self-understanding reveals is
the kind of person you are.

However,
that alone does not determine how you live.

Even if you know your values, you are still faced with choices.
Even if you see your strengths, where to apply them is a different question.
Even if you can envision the person you want to be, there is a fog between that and reality.

Self-understanding and choosing how to live
may seem connected, but they are actually on different layers.

That is why, no matter how much self-understanding you accumulate,
feeling stuck and wondering,
“So, what should I do again...?”
is actually quite natural.

► The fact that hesitation remains is
proof that you are being honest with yourself

When I continued to feel lost beyond self-understanding,
for a long time,
I thought, “I still don't understand myself enough.”

But now, I see it a little differently.

Hesitation remains
because both options are important.
Because both truly exist within you.

That is not a sign of shallow self-understanding.
It might be a sign that you are being honest with yourself.

Rather than rushing to find an answer,
try simply observing
what you are torn between.

In that wavering,
I have found that more often than not,
the hint for the next step resides.

► What lies "beyond" self-understanding

Self-understanding is not the goal.

It is like a map
to ensure you don't leave your own feelings behind.

Even with a map, only you, standing in that moment,
can know which path to choose.

So, if you are feeling lost after deepening your self-understanding,
you haven't done anything wrong.

In fact, it is precisely because you have the map in your hands
that you are able to stop and ask, "Where am I?"

The options for where to go have increased.

Therefore, rather than viewing it as stagnation,
I want you to feel that you are valuing
your own sense of self.

If you are blaming yourself because your doubts haven't vanished
despite having worked on self-understanding,

it may simply mean that your sense of self has grown
enough for you to stop and carefully consider things.

Thank you for reading
this article
to the end.

See you next time.

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When you need to, please reach out from here.

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There might be something
close to how you feel right now.
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