What happens when you try to change but it doesn't go well

Introduction...
* This is not about the spiritual world.

When we think, "I want to change who I am now,"
we tend to
"I'm no good as I am! I have to change!"
and push ourselves too hard.

That is a wonderful attitude, and
I myself have also kept trying to change
and acquire new skills
by pushing myself.

However, if you try to forcibly
tear yourself away without accepting "who you are now,"
and move toward the ideal world you long for,
both your mind and body will not be able to keep up.

"Starting today, I'll stop staying up late and wake up early!"
"I'm quitting smoking!"
"I'll stop using my phone while doing other things!"
"I won't eat snacks!"

Have you ever had the experience of setting such goals,
but not being able to keep them up?

Usually, the cause is that you are trying to change by force
and applying pressure too suddenly.
I myself

have repeated this many times... bitter smile

To move toward the future where you have drawn your "ideal,"
there is a quieter,
but more certain "rule of change."

This is not so much about "becoming a different person"
as it is a change that brings you closer to your original self.

This "rule of change"
is deeply related to a state called self-congruence in psychology.

And it is also very similar to the mechanism of magic
that appears in "Frieren: Beyond Journey's End."
(I love this work)

That said, we
cannot chant spells to create fire
or fly around in the sky.

However, this work was scattered with
amazing hints that also apply to changes in reality.

This time, while borrowing a little bit
from the setting of "Frieren: Beyond Journey's End,"
I would like to talk about
imagination and the comfort zone.

▶ Magic is a "world of images"
　What you can imagine is "reserved"

The setting mentioned in the work,
"Magic is a world of images.
　What you cannot imagine cannot be made into magic."

For example... a girl named Übel.
Regarding the rough but very powerful
"magic that can cut almost anything" that she wields,
let me introduce it a little...

Even a cloak enchanted with magic that blocks any attack
is easily and cleanly cut
by the image (assumption) that "cloth is something that can be cut."
(It was quite a shocking scene, as it even cut the person wearing the cloak...)

Also, the protagonist Frieren and
her apprentice Fern use flight magic.

However, for the hostile demons,
flight magic is not treated as "magic."
They use it with the same feeling as walking for humans.

If you can vividly and
clearly picture yourself being able to do it,
you can actually manifest it as "magic."

Things you think are "impossible" or "cannot be done"
cannot be manifested even by a millimeter.

This is surprisingly similar to our mindset, learning,
skill acquisition methods, and the mechanisms of habit formation.

Just as for Ubel,
"cloth is something that can be cut" is a given,

for demons,
"flying in the sky" is just as
natural as walking.

What drives our reality
always changes depending on where
"what is natural for me" lies.

When you try to think about the future by calculating from your current position, saying,
"With who I am now, this is probably about right" or "Given my current skills and environment, this is realistic,"

this is a state where you are still bound by formulas and logic,
keeping your image within the "framework of who you are now."

On the other hand,
if you can vividly bring to mind the texture of
"three years from now, I'll be laughing like this and feeling this way,"

that is not so much a goal thought up in your head,
but a more intuitive feeling that you can
genuinely accept from the heart, saying, "I am certainly there."

From the moment you start walking in that world within your imagination,
your "natural state (comfort zone)"
quietly shifts from where you are now
to that world of your imagination.

Then, the energy you had been using to push yourself,
thinking "I have to change by force," will
turn into a quiet and powerful conviction that "it is natural to be my ideal self."

▶ Making an image "natural" is
　"tilling the soil"

"I was able to imagine it!
　But, reality hasn't changed at all..."

This dilemma is truly painful.

Shifting to the future side by imagining it
is a change that first happens within your "mind."

So, there is simply
a gap between you and reality.

Thinking, 'I believed reality would start to move...' or
'Maybe the Law of Attraction isn't for me...'

While feeling that pain,
your 'image of your completed self'
gradually downsizes to
'I wish I could...'
or 'I guess it's impossible after all...'

And if you start to panic and push yourself here,
you end up returning to the old way of
'forcibly tearing yourself away from who you are now'...

To incorporate the image you've drawn in your heart
into your current reality as a matter of course,
you need to accumulate small acts of 'cultivation'.

In other words, it means
gradually increasing the things you 'can do' and 'can choose'.

Frieren was able to fly
because she observed how demons fly.

She hasn't fully unraveled the mechanism,
so she cannot apply it,
but she became able to fly.

As for other magic, she learns and masters it
by being taught by her teacher or studying grimoires.

▶ What would your future self choose?

The choices of your future self
do not appear only in moments of major decisions.

When you're debating whether to sleep for another 10 minutes in the morning or get up.
When you mindlessly reach for something sweet at a convenience store.
When you're hesitant to do something and end up opening your smartphone.

Even in such small moments,
they are secretly appearing.

When you notice, in that moment,
'What would the me in my image do?'

Try choosing from that perspective just once.

Even once a day is fine.

The accumulation of those small choices
will quietly begin to update your 'normal'.

Before you know it, you will naturally be able to choose
the option you 'wouldn't have chosen before'.

You don't have to force yourself to break away.

As your "future self,"
choose today's cup of tea.

If that choice feels right,
that future is surely yours.

▶ What you can imagine is already a part of you.

At first, when you make a new choice,
you might feel restless,
thinking, "This doesn't feel like me."

If that restless sense of discomfort
is close to the excitement of taking on something new,
you can cultivate it more and more joyfully, can't you?

However, when your heart isn't in it,
the seed of your image might be leaning more toward a wish.

Without rushing, quietly,
why not enjoy the time it takes
for your "normal" to shift?

Thank you for reading this article
to the end as well.

See you again.

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When you need to, please reach out from here.

Other articles are also organized
by theme according to their focus.

You might find something
that resonates with how you feel right now.
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