How to perceive "things you can't do," learned from raising a child with developmental disabilities.

Thank you for visiting the page of a science-major mom raising a 3-year-old son who only speaks a little and a 1-year-old daughter. 😊

-coming home-
Both adults and children return to themselves.
Being able to be your true self.

Through no+e,
I hope to share some hints for that.

As those who always read my posts know, my 3-year-old son has things he struggles with.

Speaking is one, jumping with both feet is another...

When you are confronted with "things you can't do," it's natural to focus on them and feel anxious or impatient, isn't it?

And it feels like human nature to try hard to"make it possible"...

While raising a child with developmental disabilities,
my way of perceiving "things I can't do" has changed.

Today, I would like to write about that.

"Things you can't do"

First, I think "things you can't do" can be classified into two types.

1. You just haven't done it yet

This will happen eventually.

It's just that the timing to do ithasn't come yet.

For example, regarding speaking, even Einstein reportedly barely spoke until he was 5, and his elementary school enrollment was even in jeopardy...

However, considering his later achievements, even if there were "things he couldn't do" in his childhood,when looking at life as a whole, it seems like it hardly matters at all.

2. You can't do it because it's not necessary.

Another possibility is that it is something they were not born with because there is no need for them to be able to do it.

Even if 99% of people can do it, perhaps they cannot do it because they can gain necessary lessons through the experience of "not being able to do it".

How to perceive "things you can't do"

If you think there are only two categories: "things you can't do yet, but will be able to do eventually" and "things you can't do because there is no need to,"
I think
your anxiety about "things you can't do" will be significantly reduced.

your anxiety about "things you can't do" will be significantly reducedI think.

On the other hand, if you perceive it like (2) from the beginning,

"If it's not necessary, then it's fine if I can't do it!"
you might want to just accept it, but,

by making an effort with the mindset of (1) "maybe they will be able to do it someday" while watching over them,

if they still cannot do it,

→ Perhaps they cannot do it because it is not necessary.
→ What can I learn from this experience of "not being able to do it"?

I find myself wanting to perceive "things I can't do" positively like that these days.

And, while perceiving things positively in that way,
they might just become able to do it at an unexpected moment.

They might never be able to do it in their whole life. But that is a story for another time.

Never focus on what others cannot do and
"Why can't you do this!?"
"Are you stupid?"
"Oh, you can't even do this..."
so as not to scold or be exasperated by them.

Also, never focus on what you cannot do yourself and
"I'm useless because I can't even do this"
"I can't do anything right"
"It's meaningless even if I try..."
so as not to give up or become desperate.

I wrote this as a reminder to myself as well.

Since I am still immature, my way of perceiving "things I can't do" may change through various experiences from here on out.

For now, I have written down what I am thinking today.

Thank you so much for reading this far.

Your likes, follows, and comments are encouraging and help me learn. I am grateful.
I look forward to your continued support.

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