[Essay] I have a developmental disability, but.

🧩 This article is participating in the July project "I have a developmental disability, but..." hosted by the magazine co-managed by Totsuo and Dekoboko.

The other day, I took my three-and-a-half-year-old son to the dentist.

Since he was one and a half, my son has been going to the dentist every three months without fail for fluoride treatments. However, due to our move, this was the first time we had been to this particular dentist.

"Since it's his first time there, I wonder if he'll be difficult?"

Ignoring my worries, my son went into the examination room by himself and completed his routine checkup perfectly.

The dental hygienist said this to me:

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Well, that son of mine was diagnosed with a developmental disability when he was two years and nine months old.

ASD, or Autism Spectrum Disorder. That thing where you're not good at communication.

When you say that, people might imagine someone very gloomy, or someone who has absolutely no interest in others and is selfish.

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Or, because the co-occurrence rate of ASD and intellectual disabilities is high, some people might think that everyone with it also has an intellectual disability.

Admittedly, I feel like if my son were to take an intellectual disability test now, he would be diagnosed with one.

This is because, compared to his age, my son is overwhelmingly poor at speaking. And apparently, a diagnosis of intellectual disability is greatly influenced by language development.

Therefore, regardless of whether they understand or not, if their expressive language is limited, their IQ will come out low.

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By the way, it is said that even Albert Einstein didn't speak until he was about three, and his entry into elementary school was even in jeopardy.

In other words, if Einstein had taken an intelligence test at age three, it might have come back as an intellectual disability; that is the reality of intelligence tests taken in early childhood.

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Well, with that said, if I were to list the images that seem to collect the prejudices against "developmental disabilities," knowing full well I might be criticized, it would be something like this:

I suppose that's about it.
It ended up looking like a den of insults...

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My son has ASD, but he has a very friendly personality.

He loves "people" and loves to "be affectionate." He is such a charmer that the teachers at his developmental support center tell me, "He is such a lovely child. Just being able to see him makes me happy."

Also, he understands "why a dentist is necessary," and he can follow instructions like "open your mouth wide" or "say 'ee'" without moving in the exam chair.

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When I'm not feeling well, he tries his best to take care of me, like putting something cold on my forehead or bringing me a blanket.

And after his bath, he even pours milk for his younger sister, trying his best to do things without relying on his sick mother as much as possible.

Well, he ends up spilling the milk, so I have to deal with it anyway (lol).

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Have I managed to dispel at least some of the prejudiced images of developmental disabilities I listed earlier?

Writing it out like this, it feels like the same kind of parenting story as any other, rather than my son being some special child called an "ASD kid."

It's just that he is not good at talking. Also, he's not potty trained yet, haha.

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When a diagnosis like "○○ disability" is attached, you are sometimes shunned because of that label.

I felt that keenly when I was looking for childcare after moving when he turned three.

If these questions were asked to everyone enrolling mid-term, that would be one thing, but it was only because he had an ASD diagnosis that I was asked these interrogating questions.

(By the way, although he ended up enrolling in a different nursery school than the one that asked this question, my son is handling everything without any difficulty.)

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Even if a child is diagnosed with a developmental disability, their personalities are diverse, and their strengths and weaknesses are also diverse.

Instead of looking at them through the lens of 'a child labeled with a certain disability,'

'What kind of child is this?' I would like people to look at them with that perspective, and at the same time,

it was an event that made me reflect on whether I myself, when faced with things I don't know much about, have been judging them based on prejudice or assumptions without realizing it.

Thank you for your support.
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🌟 I have started a serialized subscription magazine [Wagan]

Based on this realization, I am sharing tips for a mindset that says
'It's okay no matter what happens.'

I am truly grateful that some people have already purchased it.
The first month is free, so please feel free to subscribe✨

👥 Seeking members

I am looking for members for the 'Jointly Operated Magazine for the Convex and Concave'!

The 'Jointly Operated Magazine for the Convex and Concave' is a jointly operated magazine specializing in developmental disabilities that anyone involved with developmental disabilities (individuals, parents, support staff) can join.

I operate this with the hope of creating horizontal connections for developmental disabilities and helping with:
　☑︎ Empathy like 'Oh, I totally get that'
　☑︎ Solving worries like 'What should I do about this?'

If you would like to join, please let me know in the comments!
I look forward to your participation.

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