Effective Responses for My 2-Year-Old Daughter's Frequent Tantrums Over Trifles

Thank you for visiting. I am a science-educated mom who provides yoga therapy as a child development support specialist and regional coordinator for children with developmental disabilities, all while navigating the 'terrible twos' with my own daughter✨

The biggest issue in my parenting lately... is my 2-year-old daughter's explosive tantrums.

I have summarized the response methods that worked relatively well, incorporating my professional knowledge.

A 'World-Ending' Rage Over Curry

My daughter's tantrums start over the most trivial things. The other day, I asked,

I checked before mixing, but it seems it wasn't okay for her, and later she screamed,

She went into such a rage that she almost flipped the plate (I rescued the plate just in time). Usually, she's the one who asks me to mix it, too😅

No matter what I say, it's 'No!'
Trying to soothe her backfires!

Dinner was completely derailed, but she was able to finish her curry afterward. I will write about the steps I took to get there.

Practicing 'Deep Breathing' and 'Time-Out'

For my daughter, I decided to try responding by combining Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA), which is valued in developmental support, with yoga techniques.

By the way, I learned about Applied Behavior Analysis from this book.

1. 'Time-Out' by separating rooms

Her panic was so severe that my voice couldn't reach her at all, so I used a 'time-out' to create physical distance.

I moved my daughter to the next room and waited for her to calm down.

That said, even after I finished my dinner, my daughter was still screaming and stomping her feet on the floor😭

Since there was no other choice, I went to the room where my daughter was,

I presented her with these "choices."

Then, while crying, she replied, "Eat..." By deciding for herself, it was a sign that her rationality had returned just a little bit.

2. Deep breathing

Even after returning to the dining table, her body was still heaving with sobs and she was crying.

The words "I'll eat" were forgotten, and even when I brought the spoon to her mouth, my daughter turned her face away and refused it💦

What I introduced here was "deep breathing."

When I said that, my daughter, despite still sobbing, mimicked me with a "phew" sound.

As we repeated this a few times, she took a bite, sobbed again, took a deep breath with a "phew," and then took another bite.

Around this time, my daughter requested,

When I draped her favorite blanket over the back of her chair as usual, her mood was almost completely back to normal✨

From being in such a huge rage, she was able to finish her meal👏

Key points for handling this

I would like to summarize the points I felt were important after facing these intense tantrums.

• Do not get unnecessarily involved during a panic:
  When the brain is in a state of panic, trying to soothe them can be counterproductive. Taking a timeout and creating some distance often helps both parties calm down faster in the end.
  

• Do not easily give in to demands:
  This time, I had the option to re-serve the curry, but I intentionally chose not to.This is because doing whatever they say can lead to the misconception that "if I cry hard enough, I will get what I want." I feel that maintaining non-negotiable boundaries (consistency) is also an important perspective.
  

• Practice skills during "peaceful times":
  It is extremely difficult to teach calming skills like deep breathing in the middle of a panic.I realized that it is truly important to practice these through play when they are calm, rather than "in the heat of the moment." I really felt this to be true.

Recommended books

▼ For practicing breathing

▼ For training in labeling emotions

▼ For learning Applied Behavior Analysis, which is the basis for responses

Parent training too

I have acquired knowledge by studying to become a child development support specialist, but even so, every time my child has a tantrum, I feel like"I'm so exhausted..." and my heart feels like it's going to break.

Perhaps my daughter is trying to raise my patience to a professional level (lol). It is incredibly tough, but I wonder if I should say thank you...? Haha.

To all the moms and dads out there who are thinking "I can't take it anymore!" due to the terrible twos or tantrums caused by specific preferences. Even with professional knowledge, being tired is just being tired.

Let's get through this together while taking deep breaths!

Best regards.

▼ My book

(←Return to the Rikejo Mom table of contents)

🏢Sponsor companies

🏢Partner companies

From preschool to elementary school, become good at math with tablet learning RISU!

▼ Try it for free here (Coupon code: bzg07a)

* Although RISU does not normally offer a free trial, you can try it for free for one week if you go through this URL.

* If you return it within one week, you will need to pay 1,980 yen (tax included) <for shipping and insurance> (there is no cost if you continue after the trial)

* From preschool to elementary school, there are many voices saying they became good at math. * Since I only want to introduce things I truly think are good, if my son finds it not good while experiencing it, I will delete this link.

#PR #RISUMath #RISU #Math #TabletLearning

#Parenting #ParentingWorries #ChildGrowthRecord #2YearsOld #5YearsOld #Development #DevelopmentalDisability #ASD #Autism #Tantrums #MentalManagement #Kindergarten #NurserySchool #TerribleTwos #AppliedBehaviorAnalysis #ABA