#65 Three Decision Points for Quitting or Letting Go of Something!

I am writing this article on February 2nd, the day of Setsubun.
I heard that it has been 10 years since February 2nd was Setsubun.
How will you all be spending Setsubun?
As for me, I'm thinking of making sushi rolls and maybe some candied sardines.
On Setsubun, we throw beans while saying, "Out with the demons, in with the good fortune."
I'm going to take advantage of this bean-throwing tradition to let go of the "demons" within myself at this time.
What do I mean by "demons"? As the title suggests:
・Letting go of things or matters I no longer need
・Stopping things I have been dragging out
These are the ones.
These are things I have been turning a blind eye to, procrastinating on, or looking at with a gentle gaze, thinking I should give them a little more time.

Quitting or letting go of something is very painful, difficult, and exhausting.
These are things that were once part of your life, and you likely have attachment or obsession toward them.
Even with those feelings, I would like to share three points to consider when you decide to "quit or let go."
These are just my personal criteria, so please think it over until you are satisfied yourself.

First, the first point.
The same thing happens over and over again.
This is it. Especially unpleasant or negative things happen repeatedly. They happen periodically.
The frequency varies from person to person, but it happens every month, every week, or even every day.
And each time, I think, "Oh, this again. How many times has this happened now..." (Sorry, that's Kansai dialect. It means "How many times has this been?")
Does that ring a bell?
This happened to me over and over again. Or rather, it did happen. I am the type who keeps making the same regrets, yet still believes that maybe things will change next time, or that since I tried so hard, the situation will improve, and I try not to give up until the very end, trusting in the goodness of others.
But it is better to give up on it sooner.
You won't gain anything by trying hard.
In my case, I did gain a lesson, but...
The conclusion is, "I should have given up on it sooner," which is my honest feeling.

And the second point.
Abnormalities appear in your mind and body.
Your mind is eroded and your body breaks down.
To share my past experience, first, the stress becomes enormous and your body starts to declare a state of emergency.
What I mean is that I developed hives all over my body, and I spent days trying to suppress them with strong medication and injections because oral medicine wasn't enough.
Luckily, this coincided with a long weekend, so I didn't cause any trouble at work and could rest without feeling guilty, but I still had to take two days off.
It wasn't just itchy; it was painful. Truly, it was so painful that even the shower water hurt, and I cried at the nurse's kind words while getting injections at the hospital.
And, as is specific to women, "my period stopped."
It really does stop. I think it's hard for men to understand, but for women, a period is a quite intense event that comes every month. On top of that, in this day and age where women work hard and often do almost all the housework, it becomes a significant burden.
It is said that a period shouldn't involve pain, suffering, or bloating, but almost 100% of modern women suffer from their periods and experience physical illness.
The fact that it stops means that your internal hormone balance is collapsing, and it is starting to erode other parts of your body in a chain reaction.
In my case, my internal organ function declined and I couldn't eat. I had summer fatigue, but I couldn't taste food, or I lost my appetite. Once it gets to this point, a negative chain reaction occurs, and you can end up unable to move, falling into a serious situation.
My period resumed some time after my mental stress began to ease, but for about half a year, whenever stress started to build up, my period would be significantly delayed. I think it is one of the barometers of a woman's health.

Finally, the third point.
Will there be a smile on your face in the future if you continue this?
This is it. This is a perspective that is often overlooked, but it is very important.
I want you to think a little about whether you will be smiling in six months, a year, two or three years, five years, or ten years if you continue doing what you are doing.
Will I be smiling? Will I be having fun? Even if it doesn't go as far as being fun, please think seriously about whether you will be able to continue without breaking your body from stress.
"You only live once, so do what you want to do!"
This phrase came over the radio at a random moment. I still vividly remember being startled by it at that moment.
Working hard for someone else is a very good thing. If it is what is called "contributing to others," it is fine, but "self-sacrifice" will not last long.
Rather, you will end up falling apart, so please don't do it.
You might think, "I'll just endure it for now," but that is not good.
For example, child-rearing. It might be an exaggeration to call it self-sacrifice, but as someone who has finished raising children, I think it's not good to be overly involved with your children.
On the other hand, in the short term, "My child is focusing on something and working hard, so I want to support them. That's why I'll support them even if it's a self-sacrifice." This is acceptable.
For example, if you have a child who is focused on sports or art, you naturally want to support them with all your might when their talent is growing rapidly. That is parental love, and there are many things that only parents can do.
Conversely, there are things that parents cannot do, so I hope everyone around can support them.
This is not the case mentioned above, but rather when you are simply sacrificing yourself.
To give an easy-to-understand example: "Work."
There is probably a situation in every company where only one employee is under a heavy load.
This is when they are pushing themselves beyond their duties or authority, when their boss or those around them are taking credit for their work, or when only one person is struggling while the boss or management is turning a blind eye and running away.
An organization that relies on the self-sacrifice of the target person is meaningless and will eventually collapse.
Self-sacrifice has absolutely no benefits.
Even if you are the only one enduring and suffering, those around you will only soak up the good parts.
You will just continue to be exploited and fall apart, so let's stop.
It is difficult to let go on your own when you have attachment, or when attachment has turned into obsession, but you will find the courage to leave once your body starts to break down.
Surprisingly, the moment will come when it is engraved in your heart:
"Oh, I can't do this anymore, I'm quitting."
That moment really does come, but I don't recommend it because you will often have suffered significant damage by then. Let's leave as soon as possible.

I have shared three decision points for quitting or letting go of something, and I hope it is of some help to you.
The motto is:
"You only live once, so let's do what we want to do!"
I want to live without forgetting this.