The story of how I, an insomniac, decided I wanted to live with music

Sorry for the sudden post. I'm writing this while shaking because I'm just so happy.
My emotions are running so high that my writing might be incoherent, but please forgive me, haha.

I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder a few years ago,
and I have experienced mania, depression, and "insomnia."

Symptoms like mania and depression became milder with medication,
but only the "deep insomnia" remained with me.

"Don't you think you could sleep even without taking medicine?"

That was something my family said to me.

I'm sure it was just a casual remark,
but it really stung.

That phrase would stick in my head every night before bed.

Even so, while accepting who I am,
I would take my sleeping pills every day, close my eyes, and instead of trying not to think about anything,
I would quietly wait to lose consciousness every night.

That situation lasted for probably three to four years.

I was so anxious every single day.
Would the day come when I could sleep without sleeping pills, or would it never come?
For me, it was the biggest problem in my life.

As a hobby, I started playing the drums in April of this year, and this week I started the piano.
Both are so much fun, and I'm so absorbed in them that I want to make them lifelong hobbies.

Yesterday was my second time playing the piano.
My teacher told me that playing the piano "uses your whole brain, including the right and left hemispheres and the frontal lobe,
which is great for brain activation and rejuvenation."

Last night, I suddenly thought to myself.

I've had high hopes and failed many times before, and each time I've felt down and given up. But yesterday, I wanted to try one more time.

I took less than half of my usual medication (Triazolam 0.125mg) and lay down without taking the others (Dayvigo, Zolpidem, Mirtazapine).

……I slept soundly until morning.

It might just be for one night.
Even so, I'm so happy that I'm writing this article while crying by myself, haha.

For a while now, I think I'll just see how things go with only the Triazolam as needed. Of course, I will properly consult with my doctor at my next appointment.

To everyone who has read this far, thank you so much.

I would be happy if the day comes when I can share an update.

P.S. Is there anything you do to help you sleep?
If you don't mind, please let me know for reference!

#BipolarDisorder #Mania #Depression #Insomnia #SleepAid #SleepingPills
#Music #Drums #Piano
#CreativeAward2025 #EssayCategory