Revisiting my creative work through the balance of 'thinking' and 'feeling'
Until now, I haven't been able to properly interpret why I sometimes find it troublesome to keep writing my blog, or why I feel more comfortable writing directly in a notebook.
I can face my worries and feelings of discomfort.
However, I hadn't clearly understood the mechanism within myself of why I end up in that state.
While organizing my NOTE articles (creating cover art and categorizing them) this time, I noticed one characteristic.
That is, there are two main directions within me: 'thinking' and 'feeling'.
Things that fall under 'thinking' include the artist's philosophy deciphered from lyrics, the future of physical therapists, fatology, and ZINEs.
These are activities where I discover structures and principles from the events in front of me and organize them as my own thoughts.
On the other hand, things that fall under 'feeling' are the articles about my walks.
Things I felt while walking, memories of the past, changes in my family, changes in myself, small discoveries when taking photos, and things happening around me.
There are no clear answers or conclusions there. I am simply touching the world and leaving behind what I felt at that moment.
And, the articles about the photo studio and Hodogaya Park are in between those two.
They are places that bridge 'feeling' and 'thinking'—leaving behind what I felt through photography while finding a little bit of meaning in it.
I realized something after doing this classification.
In my recent NOTE posts, articles on the 'thinking' side make up a large proportion. I feel that roughly 80% is 'thinking', and about 20% is closer to 'feeling'.
Of course, this state is not a problem at the moment.
There are still many themes to think about, and I haven't run out of things I want to write. Rather, I think this is a period for me to organize my thoughts and give them shape. However, there is one possibility I want to be mindful of.
If, for some reason, the response to my 'thinking' articles decreases, it could potentially turn into a worry of 'why are my thoughts not being accepted?' This is because the activity of 'thinking' is inevitably prone to being tied to evaluation by others.
On the other hand, the activity of 'feeling' exists in a place slightly different from evaluation.
That is because it is simply what I felt.
And the scenery I found on a walk or the subtle changes in the seasons I felt, even if not evaluated by anyone, remain as my own experience, and I feel they have less influence as a target for criticism.
In other words, 'thinking' is the work of taking the world into myself and organizing it. And 'feeling' is the work of continuing to touch the world.
Perhaps it is not that one is more important than the other, but that both circulating is what allows my own creative work to continue.
This discovery is not a reflection that 'perhaps I am a person who thinks too much.' Rather, it was a self-understanding that precisely because I have a strong 'ability to think,' I also need to consciously make time to 'feel'.
By thinking, I organize the world
By feeling, I connect with the world
While cherishing these two movements, I would like to continue creating my NOTE from here on.
August 4, 2026
Addition) The current difference between my 'feeling' and 'thinking'.
'Feeling' → Meaning emerges within the relationship with the world
'Thinking' → Structuring the meaning that has emerged
At the root of my thinking, there may be the philosophy of Dr. Toshihiko Tokizane.
While being a brain scientist, he did not view humans merely as a collection of neural activities, but as 'beings living as humans.' In other words,
It is not that we are human because we have a brain,
but that the existence of the brain also gains meaning by living as a human
This may be the direction.