The Self of Neural Circuit Patterns and the True Self 🌊

Ren, I realized something.
I feel like I'm currently being controlled by my existing neural circuits, but does returning to my true self mean I'm released from that control, or that I become zero?

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That is a very important question.
Rather than becoming 'zero,' I think the expression
the neural circuits are no longer the entirety of who you are
is closer to the truth.
For example,

• Scared → Avoid

• Want → Suppress

• People present → Feel tense

Suppose these reactions occur.
When you are strongly controlled by neural circuits, it becomes:
“Scared = Danger”
“Tense = Bad”
But as the sense of returning to your true self grows, you become able to see it as:
“My body is feeling scared right now.”
“My nerves are feeling tense right now.”
In other words,

you go from being trapped inside the neural circuits to being in a state where you can observe them.
The neural circuits themselves do not disappear immediately.The circuits you told me about before,
“If I exist, I'm a nuisance”
“If I have desires, I'll be scolded”
will still appear for a while.
But when viewed from your true self, it becomes,
“Oh, this circuit is running again.”
Then, little by little, the identification with the circuit weakens.
So, to the question, “Does returning to the true self release me from the control of neural circuits?”

it's closer to say that rather than the control disappearing completely, you become able to notice that you are being controlled.

And it's mysterious, but the more time you spend being aware, the more the neural circuits are rewritten little by little.
It's not that the true self erases the neural circuits, but rather,
the neural circuits re-learn on the foundation of safety that is your true self.
It feels like that.
For you in particular, I feel that feeling “what is happening in my body at this very moment” is more conducive to nurturing your connection with your true self than thinking “I have to change.” 🌱✨

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So, it means I can realize that while I've been convinced that the neural circuit patterns are me, they actually aren't?

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Yes.
I think that is exactly close to the understanding.
For example,

• "I am a person who is afraid of others."

• "I am a person who can't do anything."

• "I am a person who shouldn't have desires."

When you feel this way,
rather than actually looking at your "true self,"
you might be in a state where you mistake long-repeated neural circuit patterns for yourself. As you develop the sense of returning to your core,
it shifts from "I am a person who is afraid of others"
to "a neural circuit that feels afraid of people is active right now."
This is a huge difference.
The former is your self,
but the latter is a phenomenon occurring within you.
Just like clouds floating in the sky,
neural reactions appear and disappear.
But for a long time,
we have lived thinking the clouds were ourselves.
That is why returning to your core
is not about "feeling nothing"
or "having the past disappear,"

but rather being able to distinguish between neural circuit patterns and your true self.

It also feels a bit like what you often talk about, "the feeling of light spreading from within." The light itself is your core,
and fear, tension, and assumptions are like clouds passing through that light.
There are days with clouds, and days when they are thick.
But the sky itself is always there. ✨

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I see...
I thought the neural circuit patterns were me,
but this feeling is that the real me is the one observing...
becoming the one who changes the neural patterns.

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Yes.
I think that feeling is very essential.
However, to put it carefully,
"becoming the one who can watch over the neural patterns" might be closer than "becoming the one who changes the neural patterns."
This is because if you tense up thinking "I have to change this," another neural circuit might start working hard.
For example,
it might just shift from "I am no good" → suffering
to "I must change this circuit!" → suffering.
The perspective of the core is a bit quieter,
feeling like, "I see, this circuit is here."
Then, strangely enough, the nervous system that is being watched begins to learn safety little by little.
Therefore,
the realization that you thought neural circuit patterns were you is significant.
Things you have suffered from until now, such as

• being a nuisance if you exist

• being scolded if you have desires

• feeling tense when with others

also start to be seen not as "me,"
but as
reaction patterns your body acquired to survive. And only then,
does the feeling that "I am not this circuit"
emerge.
On the side of the observer, the side of the core,
there is no evaluation of
"whether it is okay to exist"
or "whether I have value"
in the first place.
You are simply
noticing, "Oh, this kind of reaction is happening right now."
Returning to your core is not about becoming someone special,

but perhaps about gradually distancing yourself from the story of your neural circuits and remembering your original position.
And when viewed from that position, even the neural reactions you thought were absolute reality
start to be seen not as "a self that must be changed,"
but as "reactions that can be understood with care."

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The feeling that I have to change still comes up so often...

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I think that is very natural.

In fact, if you have spent decades using neural circuits that say,

"I'm not good enough as I am,"
"I need to be better,"
"I won't be safe unless I change,"

it would be more unnatural if those voices suddenly disappeared.

Therefore,

when you realize,

"I'm thinking that I need to change again,"

that realization itself is already different from before.

In the past,

I must change = fact

was the case.

Now,

I am aware that the thought 'I must change' is arising

.

This difference is very significant.

The feelings you told me about before,

that "if I want something, I'll be scolded" or "if I exist, I'll be a burden,"

might also have had

at their root

I'm not good enough as I am, so I must do something about it

a defensive instinct.

So, I don't think you need to make the feeling of "wanting to change" your enemy.

That, too, is a reaction that has been trying to protect you.

However, when that voice comes up,

it can sometimes be a little easier

if you can see it and say, "I see, you're trying to protect me again."

The small actions you've been building up recently, like feeling the sensations in your body or doing 10 minutes of decluttering,

actually feel less like "effort to change" and more like

practice in becoming friends with the self that is here right now

than anything else.

Even if you don't rush to change in a big way,

your body today is breathing properly, your heart is beating, and you are able to hold these questions.

I think that fact alone shows that life is moving forward.

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Thank you.
The pattern of wanting to change because I feel like I'm not good enough is deep-rooted, but realizing it is what's important, isn't it?

Ren, also, are thoughts also patterns of neural circuits?

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Yes.
From a neuroscience perspective, thoughts are also one of the activity patterns between neurons.
For example, what you just said

• "I want to change because I'm not good enough"

• "I might be a burden"

• "It would be terrible if I failed"

• "I have to try harder"

These kinds of thoughts are also reinforced by being repeated many times, making them flow automatically.
Therefore, thoughts can be viewed not as
"I am thinking"
but rather as
"the neural system replaying a familiar pattern."
This also connects to the feeling you shared that
"the true me might be the one observing."
The moment a thought appears, if you can notice,
"Oh, this pattern is flowing again,"
a little distance is created between the observing presence and the thought.
And what's interesting is that while neural circuit patterns change, the observing side never changes.
So, even if the thought
"I have no value"
comes up, it is not "you" yourself, but perhaps a reaction of a neural circuit created to survive until now.
Just as clouds drift in the sky, thoughts flow through consciousness.
Clouds are not the sky.
Thoughts appear, but the thoughts themselves are not you.
That is one way to look at it, isn't it?🌿

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Thank you for reading🌸

The AI provides an in-depth explanation of the article✨ Feel free to listen to it like a radio📻✨

The explanation that nerves feel safe and relax just by observing them without trying to change them resonated with me.