Recommendations for 'Sieve-Brain' Caregiving: Verbal Communication Edition
[Recommendations for 'Sieve-Brain' Caregiving: Part 1]
With 32 years of caregiving experience, including 22 years in dementia care.
While working with many people in the field, I arrived at the concept of a 'sieve-brain'.
Don't take on more than necessary; let excess stress flow through like a sieve, and only hold onto the essential feelings.
This is wisdom that lightens the heart, useful for both professionals and family caregivers.
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Negative words do not reach the other person
In caregiving settings and at home, we often find ourselves saying 'No,' 'Stop,' or 'That's wrong.'
However, it is said that the brain has difficulty understanding negative words.
Even if you say 'No!', the other person doesn't understand 'what is wrong' or 'what they should do.'
Instead, it can sometimes create anxiety or resistance.
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The 3-Step Sieve-Brain Approach to Verbal Communication
1. Swallow the negative words and change them into positive ones
・ 'Not that way' → 'This way is better'
・ 'Stop!' → 'Shall we try this instead?'
2. Make it a habit to accept with a 'YES'
・ By accepting once with 'I see' or 'That makes sense,'
a sense of security is created.
3. Keep it short, gentle, and with a smile
・ Complex explanations are unnecessary.
・ The tone of your voice and your facial expressions resonate more than the words themselves.
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From my experience
I feel that people with dementia often react more to the 'emotional resonance' than the content of the words.
If you say 'Please stop!' strongly, it is received simply as rejection.
But if you say 'This way is safer,' they may accept it naturally.
That small change can significantly alter the atmosphere of caregiving.
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Conclusion
There is no single correct answer in caregiving.
However, just by letting go of negative words and wrapping things in positive language,
there are moments when the atmosphere of the situation softens.
I believe the 'laid-back' nature of the sieve-brain is a gentle weapon for continuing to provide care.