Is it happiness to make your 'passion' your job?

I want to make what I love my job.

I imagine there are quite a few people who have thought that way. I am also one of those who wondered how wonderful it would be if I could make what I love my job.

On the other hand, I was also one of those who thought “you cannot make what you love your job.”

Enlightenment | Seeing reality at the age of ten

What made me think that was a children's book series I read when I was young called 'Maria Detective Agency.' I loved mysteries, so I read it over and over again.

The story of 'Maria Detective Agency' (commonly known as Mari-Tan) follows the protagonist, Kaorin, who uses her unique, flexible elementary schooler brain to solve cases, but as a child, I felt more sympathy for Kaorin's aunt, Kameko, than admiration for Kaorin.

Kameko dreams of becoming a wealthy detective who brilliantly solves cases, but the jobs she actually gets are just mundane requests like finding lost cats. Even when a big job occasionally comes along, Kaorin swoops in and steals the glory.

The protagonist gets to walk on a glittering path, while ordinary people have no choice but to run desperately alongside it. I realized at the age of 10 that making your 'passion' or 'admiration' your job is something permitted only to the chosen few.

Foundation | You can work even if you don't love it

Having given up early on making my 'passion' my job, I took an administrative job right after graduation. The good thing about administrative work is that as long as you keep your hands moving, the work gets done. Whether I'm full of motivation or not motivated at all, the tasks are set, so I just have to keep my hands moving.

As I did it, I started to understand the ropes, and it was fun to increase my work speed or come up with more efficient methods.

Clearing tasks like that is a bit like the feeling of playing through a game. You defeat enemies in order, and as you defeat them, your level goes up, you learn the opponent's weaknesses, and the next time you encounter them, you can defeat them faster than before.

I would handle my work calmly like that, and spend my days off on my 'oshi-katsu' (supporting my favorite idol/character). I would recharge my energy with my 'oshi' and get through the weekdays again. No matter how hard work was, I could do my best for my 'oshi,' and if my 'oshi' gave me energy, I could do my best again. This was my life as a working adult.

I had no complaints about this; in fact, it was an ideal life.

Turning point | 2020, when everything changed

The turning point for me came in 2020. It was when the novel coronavirus began to rage. Until then, I had been working for the sake of my 'oshi-katsu,' but that year, all the concerts I had planned were canceled. All my trips were canceled, too. The money I had paid for my friends' tickets was all refunded. I felt temporarily rich, but I wasn't happy at all.

I lost sight of why I was working.
Who could have imagined that the world would turn out like this?

While I was quietly staying home, I thought about my life ahead.
Is it okay for me to just go on like this?

If it's going to be this hard to find things I 'love,' shouldn't I try to make what I 'love' my job more than I do now?
The word'career change'started flickering in my mind.

Determination | Making 'passion' my job

Let's 'change careers'.

Once I thought that, I acted quickly.

While job listings for experienced candidates were lined up, I finally found a company that would let even a beginner interview, and I applied immediately.
Luckily, I was hired, so I quit my office job.

If you ask me if I had the confidence to make it in a completely different industry, honestly, I'm not sure.
It's not that I didn't have a sense of having changed jobs on impulse because the desire to 'quit' had grown so large.

Even so, in the end, I decided of my own volition to make my 'passion' my job.

This decision was correct.
I'm glad I made that choice back then.
I made up my mind to do my best so that I could feel that way.

The downside | Getting hurt because I 'love' it

When you make your 'passion' your job, the number of times you find work 'interesting' increases significantly. Well, of course. Because I 'love' it.

Because work is interesting, even if I can't fully engage in my fandom activities, my days have become a little more enjoyable. In that sense, I think changing jobs was a good thing.

However, work is work.

There are still plenty of things I dislike. No job is just fun all the time.
If anything,I might get hurt more often.

Since the things you love are things you have at least some confidence in, when you make a mistake with them or receive criticism from others, you feel incredibly down.

I have my own theory as to why I get more depressed than necessary.
It's because I pour my soul into my 'work'.

Having the 'work' I poured my soul into denied feels synonymous with having myself denied.
Of course, that's not the case. The person giving the feedback is purely thinking about'making it better'and isn't thinking about trying to deny me.

I understand it in my head.

To further polish my 'work,' feedback from others is very important, essential, and something that must be accepted.

However, even if I understand it in my head, I still feel down when I feel down.

It was only after I was hurt that I realized I took pride in my 'passion.'
I regretted, just a little, choosing to make my 'passion' my job.

Countermeasures | So as not to be tormented by 'passion'

In order to protect my tiny pride while properly accepting feedback on my 'work,' I consciously tried to separate 'work' from 'myself'.
When I feel like I might get hurt, I tell myself that even if my 'work' is criticized, it does not mean 'I' am being criticized.

This might be difficult the more you love something, or maybe it isn't. I think this varies from person to person, but one thing I can say is

if you don't seem to be able to make this distinction well, you shouldn't make your 'passion' your job.

'Work' is meant to be corrected. If you get hurt every time that happens, your heart will wear out in no time.
Conversely, as long as you can make the distinction well, your 'work' will properly improve.

I am still a bit bad at this and get down often. But I have become much better than before, and my 'work' has been polished at least a little, I think.

Present | Glad I chose it myself

I made my 'passion' my job, got hurt, and even regretted it a little, but I am still glad I chose to make my 'passion' my job.

That is because
the sense of accomplishment I get is great.
the joy of being praised is great.

That is true, but the biggest reason is
because I have come to like myself, who works with passion, a little more than before.

I can do my best because I 'love' it.
I can be particular because I 'love' it.
I can hold on because I 'love' it.

When I face my work using my 'passion' as a driving force like that, I feel like I am getting a little closer to the person I want to be.

I am still far from my ideal, and there are times when I wonder if my choice was truly correct. However,

When I quit my previous job, that was what I resolved.

I have no choice but to do it.

It is I who will make that choice back then the 'right path'.