In an era where 'you don't have to try so hard,' I dare to say the value of 'you did your best.'

Thank you for reading again this week.

Today is a full-hearted tribute dedicated to stay-at-home moms!!

In this day and age, stay-at-home moms are like an endangered species, aren't they?

In such an era, I have been a stay-at-home mom for eight years now.

As a former childcare worker and an eight-year veteran stay-at-home mom, I'm going to talk about how wonderful being a stay-at-home mom is.

Of course, I think working moms are wonderful too!

Both are wonderful, and both are working hard!

I am writing this to praise and encourage stay-at-home moms from the perspective of one myself.

A brief self-introduction

The image of a stay-at-home mom

Sometimes I feel like that's how stay-at-home moms are viewed.

Fortunately, my husband is very cooperative with housework and childcare, and he is understanding.
He is also grateful, saying it's because I do things he cannot do.

Because he is such a grateful husband, he never creates a stifling atmosphere even though I am home all the time, but
I hear that when he goes out for drinks with friends, he is often told things that sound like complaints.

I wrote that in a slightly malicious way, but based on what I heard from my husband, that is how I felt about it.

I do think that is how we are perceived by society.

It's not that I don't want to work

I have been a stay-at-home mom for eight years, but I am not at home because I don't want to work.

I resigned from my job as a nursery teacher after getting married and moving.

Since I had worked there for a long time and was moving to a place I knew nothing about, I thought I would take it easy for a while, so I didn't look for a job right after moving.

While doing so, I became pregnant with and gave birth to Nohohon-niisan (my eldest son).
Soon after Nohohon-niisan turned one, I became pregnant with and gave birth to Nekonya (my eldest daughter).

We moved again just before Nohohon-niisan turned three and when Nekonya was a little over one.

When Nekonya was a year and a half old, she was diagnosed with an illness, leading to a nine-month hospitalization.

Nekonya then had weekly hospital visits for a year.

Honestly, there was no time for me to work at all.

However, what if Nekonya hadn't been ill and had grown up healthy?

There is a good possibility that I would be working right now, but
I still think I would have remained a full-time homemaker for a long time.

This is because it wasn't that I didn't want to work, but rather

not going out to work
raising children at home

was a choice I made myself.

It's not that we have financial leeway.
Of course, I think our household finances would have been more comfortable if I had worked.
Even so, after thinking about various things, I chose to stay at home.

Being a full-time homemaker and full-time parent is wonderful.

I personally believe that specializing in housework and providing 24-hour childcare is a wonderful thing.

Recently,

Things like that are often said.

I say no to that way of thinking.

I won't deny it, but I haven't adopted it for myself.

Being a mother is wonderful

is what I believe.

When my laid-back older brother was still zero years old, whenever my husband came home from work, he would always ask,

“Did anything difficult happen today? Are you okay?”

he would ask.

“Nothing happened. I'm fine.”

I always answered that, but I always felt a sense of discomfort.

Why does my husband assume that childcare is difficult? Why does he speak as if he feels guilty, like he is 'making me do something difficult'?

Am I being made to do something difficult? Is childcare something you are made to do?

Since I am a childcare worker, I don't find being with children all the time painful or restrictive. I am not enduring being with my children.

If people say that's only possible because I'm a childcare worker, then that's the end of the conversation, but I don't think that's anything special.

I'm not pushing a theory of self-responsibility just because I wanted children, but I do think I wanted children because I wanted to raise them.

It wasn't for my status, fashion, or as a pose; the reason I wanted children was that I wanted to experience what it's like to leave descendants and raise children.

If that's the case, I think it's wonderful to give my all to my children during the not-so-long period of raising them.

I don't intend to force this on people who can't do it, and I don't think everyone should be this way, but for someone like me who gives it their all, a word of

You're working hard, aren't you?

I feel like there should be more understanding and praise for that.

The perspective of a nursery school

I think nursery schools are wonderful places.

I know their benefits well, but my own child did not attend one.

That is because I believed it was better for my child to be at home with me.

The wonders of nursery schools are shared widely, but who are those benefits really for?

Aren't they mostly for working parents?

Of course, they are good places for children too, but the differences between them and home-based childcare are rarely discussed.

If home-based childcare were spoken of as something even more wonderful, I feel like stay-at-home mothers would receive more praise.

All-out participation

That is what a former prime minister once said.

I felt that the lifestyle of a stay-at-home mother was not included in those words.

Those who go out and work are the ones who are participating.

It seems that those who raise children at home are not considered to be participating.

I have always felt a sense of discomfort with this.

Surely, there must be participation within the home as well.

The social benefits of having children at home

I once heard a story like this from a senior.

"If more people did home-based childcare, it would actually save on taxes."they said.

It's not something you hear often, but when you think about it, it makes perfect sense.

Children cannot spend time at nursery school on the amount paid by families as childcare fees alone.

Even if people say childcare fees are expensive, the amount families pay is only a small fraction, and most of it is tax money in the form of subsidies.

Since stay-at-home mothers don't work, they pay less in taxes, but they also use fewer tax-funded services, so wouldn't that mean they are contributing to the economy when viewed on a larger scale?

There is an atmosphere that suggests stay-at-home housewives aren't contributing to society, but
I think it would be wonderful if they were recognized for their active roles in housework and child-rearing at home.

Summary

For those who are struggling to the point of breaking down, I think it's fine to tell them 'you don't have to try so hard,' but

I hope we can become a society that can properly tell those who are working hard, 'It's wonderful that you are doing your best.'

I hope for a society that recognizes that looking after the children who will carry the future 24 hours a day for years is not 'impossible,' but an act of 'working hard.'

It's not something that should be forced, but for those who choose it themselves, I think more words affirming that choice should reach them.

I think a kind society is one where everyone believes that even if you are at home, you are playing an active role in the small society that is your family.

As for me, during my alone time after dropping off my children, while writing this note,

Ah, I worked hard for my family today too.

I'm going to use my time for the children and my husband who will be coming home soon.

That is how I spend my day thinking.

I'm sure I was active within my family today as well.

I am sure you were active somewhere today as well.

I would be happy if you read this again.