When you are troubled and in pain, your emotional capacity is overloaded

When you push yourself too hard and overdo it,
before you know it, you lose your appetite,
and things you thought were fun no longer bring you joy.

Huh? What am I living for?

You start worrying about things that have no answer.

Worrying about things you cannot change,
is a state where you are actively looking for things to worry about.

It is what you might call a state of
being depressed.

I would like to write about how to deal with such times,
and how to offer words of support
to those around you
who are struggling.

Everyone has an emotional capacity.

I believe that everyone
has their own emotional capacity,
and for some people,
even if it is not a significant amount of worry,
for others, it can be enough
to make them want to die.

There is no standard for that,
and while some people have a capacity
like a small measuring spoon and reach their limit immediately,

there are others who have a capacity
like a one-ton truck.

The person loading the cargo bears the responsibility.

For example,

if you try to load 50kg of cargo
onto someone who only has this much capacity,
they will break, won't they?

If you put a load of about 50kg

on a one-ton truck like this,
it probably won't break.

So, if you put 50kg of luggage on a kitchen scale
and it breaks,
is that the scale's fault?

It is not; it isthe responsibility of the person who put it there, isn't it?

Even if it has the capacity of a 1-ton truck,
if you load more than a ton of cargo, it will break,
and the responsibility for it breaking lies not with the truck,
but ultimately with the person.

In other words, falling ill mentally is not about the capacity of your heart,
but rather the responsibility lies with the
personwho is placing the burden on the heart, and conversely,
it is possible to prevent the heart from breaking
based on how that person handles things
.

You must first be aware of this.

People get sick because they misjudge their heart's capacity

It would be fine if the capacity were visible,
like a kitchen scale or a 1-ton truck,
but

the capacity of the heart
is not easily understood.

Most people
tend to
overestimatetheir actual upper limit of capacity.

And depending on the person,
the weight of the burden can also differ.

Some people
won't get depressed if they fail at work, but will if they are disliked by their partner,
while others

might get extremely depressed when they fail at work,
yet be perfectly fine
if things aren't going well with their partner.

In any case,
it is called self-monitoring,
knowing how much anxiety and worry you can endure,
and for yourself,
what you find stressful.

It is important to know that.

You don't need to solve the burden (anxiety), just set it down

And because everyone is serious,
they try to solve the burdens they carry one by one, but
to use an image,
you can just set down the burden
once you've taken it on, right?

Is it really your problem?
Is it a problem you can solve?
Do you even need to feel anxious about it in the first place?

It is better to sort through those things.

Because you try to solve things
that you don't need to worry about
and take them all on,
you end up exceeding your capacity.

Trying to change others
or worrying about vague future anxieties—
if you think these are problems you cannot solve as you are now,
it is important not to take them on,
imagining that you are putting down your luggage.

To make your load even lighter

If you are still overloaded even after that,
let's reduce your load in another way.

That isconsulting with others.

When you cannot get away from unpleasant things
that keep spinning around in your head
without talking to anyone,
you should talk to someone else.

You don't even have to ask for a solution.

It is important to output them outside of your head.

The reason you feel refreshed after talking to someone
is because you can get the problems and anxieties
that are swirling in your head out of your head.

Even if it is not useful advice,
the reason you feel like your worries have decreased
as you talk about them
is based on that logic.

Of course, sometimes the advice is good,
and naturally, your heart feels lighter
when someone affirms you in your distress,

so please do not think

“there is no point in talking” and worry alone;
you don't have to try to speak well,
so I want you to rely on someone.

Write it down on paper.

The logic is almost the same.
Since there isn't always someone
who will listen to you at any time,
in such cases,
write it down on paper
and output it outside of your head.

By visualizing what you are worried about,
you can think about it objectively,

and there are many times when you can think,“It's not that big of a deal after all.”

You can often think that.

Make it a habit to write down
things that make you anxious,
and try putting down your mental baggage.

By lightening your mental capacity
in that way,
you can also maintain your mental health😉

---------------------------------

I recently created a Twitter account.
I plan to put some effort into this as well, so
please follow me 🥺

https://mobile.twitter.com/ray_mentalnurse

I was interviewed by 'Mujin-min Interview' (Unknown Person Interview),
and they uploaded the recording to YouTube,
so please take a listen 😌
https://note.com/qbcqbc/n/ndc539ab7869c

I have also uploaded it to
https://open.spotify.com/episode/6hsCJtENfCqo0KlrI3gO2F?si=T3Skn5tcTgmBTRcxYBBoNw
the podcast, so please feel free to enjoy it via audio media as well ☺️