Sending a thousand paper cranes to someone who doesn't want them is the same psychology as a stalker

The other day on the news,
there were Japanese people trying to send
a thousand paper cranes to Ukraine,

and in response to that,
there were critical opinions saying it's
forcing good intentions on others,
as well as opinions that the feelings
for the Ukrainian people are noble!

It seems that pros and cons are swirling around this.

When I search on social media
and look at the opinions,
there are relatively many negative opinions,

but even so,
there are also opinions
like, wouldn't it be fine
if the paper crane group sent them?

The psychology of such people is probably,
though the words are a bit strong,
similar to that of a stalker,I think.

They think to themselves that they are doing it for the other person,
but they are not good at
putting themselves in the other person's shoes
and thinking about things.

They are what you callpeople who lack empathy.

◯ Just because it's good intentions doesn't mean you can do anything

Try to act for the sake of others,
try to do things that you would be happy to have done to you.

Since you were a child,
weren't you raised that way?

As you gradually become an adult,
you realize that
that is nothing more than a simple logic.

Even things that you would be happy to have done to you
can be unpleasant for the other person.

Even actions you took out of good intentions
can be
a nuisance to the other person.

Through various life experiences,
not just the teachings you were taught as a child,
kindness in the first place
is not the actions you thought were kind,
but actions that the other person feels are kind.

Because of my job, I sometimes talk to stalkers,
and even if the woman on the other end
is genuinely repulsed,
the stalker
genuinely believes they are doing it
for the other person's sake.

Delivering a self-written song
expressing their feelings
to a woman they barely know,
or trying to go to her house
to chase her down
so they can live together,

even if these are actions that

most people would think,

“That’s just not right…”

I’m really doing this for their own good!

—there are people who truly feel this way.

Of course, there are many different types of stalkers,
including those who act out of malice
or those who want to dominate,
and those people
do not fall into this category,

but there are some
who believe that if they do something
they think is good,
it will surely be conveyed to the other person,and the other person will surely be happy.

There is a certain number of people
who think this way.

This isn't a matter of
values or education.

A lack of empathyis
the underlying cause,

so no matter how much logical reasoning you provide,

“That’s why I thought I was doing it for your own good…”

is all you get, and they will never understand.

This isn't even
a special case.

There are men who say,
“My dates are always camping because my previous girlfriends loved it!”

but

your previous girlfriends might have been happy
(or so you think),
but that doesn't mean
other women will be happy too.

To someone with empathy,
this might come as a surprise,

but let's say your girlfriend
loves music
and enjoys classical or jazz.

Suppose you also love music
and listen to rock or metal.

If you were to give her a CD
for her birthday,
what kind of CD do you think would be good?

When asked this question,

there are people who answer,

“A rock CD that I recommend.”

“No, obviously you should give her
a CD of the classical music she likes...”

Thinking that way
is what's best for the other person,

but surprisingly, there are people who give others
what they themselves want to recommend.

When you're young,
you might be able to correct this
as you gain life experience,

but as you get older,
your way of thinking becomes rigid,
and some people can never correct it.

There are actually quite a few people
who hold the value that because it is (what they believe to be) justice,
it should not be denied,

but the important thing
is for the arrow of your heart
to point toward the other person,
not toward yourself.

Regardless of the issue of the thousand paper cranes,
in the events happening around you,
is it truly for the other person's benefit?

Always keep that way of thinking in the back of your mind.

Because kindness that the other person doesn't even want
is not actually kindness..

Giving advice when it hasn't been asked for,
forcing books you recommend onto others,
or telling stories of other people's heroic deeds
that the listener has no interest in hearing
are all actions where

the focus of your heart is directed toward yourself
rather than toward the other person.