People who aren't hard on themselves, but just lack the courage to say 'help me'

I feel there is a trend where the idea of being a "person who is hard on themselves"

is overly validated.
People who are hard on themselves are seen as independent,
while those who are easy on themselves are seen as dependent.

That is how it is often understood.
However, in reality,


they just lack the courage to ask others for help




and people who try to handle everything themselves are not strong, but rather,


they are often so weak that they lack the strength to ask for help.
This is often the case.

◯ It is okay to rely on others even if you have room to spare

People who are too hard on themselves
have lost the sense of
asking others for help.

If you have the feeling that
everything will work out
if you just try your best,

then relying on others
becomes a high hurdle.
It is certainly necessary to give your all at times,



but people who live happily
always have room in their hearts.

And they realize the importance
of having that mental space.

For example,
even if they have the capacity to do a task themselves,



they can delegate it to others.
By having that space,
they can keep an eye on those around them,

and new ideas can be born.
People without that space
are preoccupied with what is right in front of them,



making it difficult to be creative,
think of strategies,
or come up with ideas.
Those who try to slack off effectively
become more resourceful,

and by having mental space,
they are less likely to be
swayed by negative emotions.

Therefore, even if you have the capacity,



it is better to have the mindset that it is okay to ask your partner to do chores
or pass work on to subordinates.

◯ By asking for help, you can feel a sense of belonging

And as a benefit of asking others for help,

you can feel a sense of belonging to society or a community.

What does this mean? For example, if you don't rely on others
and try to handle everything yourself,

don't you feel


very lonely?
There may be times when that is comfortable,
but humans have a sense of community,
and by feeling that you are contributing to society or a community,

or feeling needed,
you can satisfy the sense of belonging
that says, "It's okay for me to be here."
In other words,


when you ask others for help

and they help you,
the mutual relationship

enhances your sense of belonging.
I think this "sense of belonging"
can be rephrased as a place for your heart,
and the existence of such a foundation
clarifies your own sense of purpose.

◯ The goal is not to say 'help me', but to realize that 'it is okay to be helped'

So, can you change your behavior
by thinking, "From today on, I'll let others help me more!"?

People don't change
that suddenly.

Especially since asking others for help
is an action that requires courage,
it will take time.

However, more importantly,

you should hold onto the feeling that



it is okay to ask others for help if something happens!


If you are hard on yourself and think you have to solve everything yourself,
even if you don't have a heavy workload

or many chores, you will lose your mental peace
and your mental health will suffer.



However,
if you can maintain the mindset that

it is always okay to ask for help,
even if you have the same amount of work
or chores,

your mental state will be completely different.
The harder people are on themselves,

the less mental space they have,
and their personalities become harsher.

As a result, their relationships
don't go well either.
Perhaps the key to living happily

is how much you can rely on others,

keep mental space,
feel connected to others,
and feel a sense of belonging. 😌