The Ingredient Called Obsession, in My 60s.

Now that I'm in my 60s, I've realized something.
It's not written on my health checkup results,
but my body contains
a rather large amount of
an ingredient called 'obsession'.

When I start writing on note,
I forget the existence of time.
Only the white of the screen and the black of the text
stand out clearly,
my coffee goes cold, my legs fall asleep, and
my lungs start to plead,
'What are you going to do about this?'

When my fingers finally stop,
I finally take a deep breath.
That is one session of
'obsession time'.

In my 60s, the priority of breathing drops when I'm absorbed in a hobby.

When I go outside, my camera has become my partner.
Clouds in the sky are no longer weather, but composition,
and weeds on the roadside suddenly become important figures as candidates for foreground blur.

When I try to take a picture,
I have a habit of holding my breath.
I fix my lungs along with the focus.
Every time I take a shot, a small breath-holding championship is held in my chest.

When I get home, it's time for the violin.
My left-hand fingers get lost, and my right-hand bow won't settle down.
When I get to a difficult phrase, I hold my breath
again.

After holding it for a few measures, I exhale all at once.
Along with that, my heart rate goes up.
It's not very kind to the blood pressure of someone in their 60s, but
for some reason, I'm in a good mood.

When I listen to music, I tend to go to extremes.
I listen to just the chorus of 'Beat It' over and over again.
I scoop up and drink in only the part where the tension peaks, repeatedly.
In the process, my feet and hands start moving, but
I keenly feel the difficulty of dancing.
(I am confident that I could manage
a Bon Odori dance, though.)

If I think about it calmly, this way of enjoying things is like a challenge to my autonomic nervous system.
Even so, my finger presses 'play'.
It seems my heart still wants to sprint at full speed.

When I line it all up like this,
my '60s ingredient list' looks something like this.

💊 Bone density: A little concerning

💊 Obsession ingredient: Slightly excessive

💊 Patience: Moderate

💊 Self-deprecating humor: On the rise

The ingredient called obsession is a bit hard on the body.
My breathing becomes shallow, and my blood pressure gets a little high.
But in exchange, my heart
sometimes travels back to when I was in my twenties.

So today, I open note,
pick up my camera, hold my bow,
and play the chorus again.
While telling myself to 'take it easy,' I cross the line of moderation
just a little bit every time.

──In my 60s.
I get so absorbed that before I know it, I'm not
breathing.
My blood pressure is also up a little.

Even so, a life with zero obsession
seems much worse for my health.