Socializing: Sake person or wine person? I'm definitely a wine person♡

Adding points rather than deducting them. I want to savor people using the wine method.

"Hey, did you know?"

Apparently, sake judging is a "deduction system."
It's a style where you start at 100 points and subtract points by finding flaws like cloudiness or poor balance.

On the other hand, wine judging is the exact opposite: an "addition system."
You start from zero and add points by finding wonderful qualities like the aroma, the finish, and the depth.

This is just something I heard, but it seems there is actually a tendency for that to be the case.

Sake is evaluated by "how few flaws it has,"
while wine is evaluated by "how much charm it has" as points are added.

When I heard this, I thought, "Oh, I'm definitely a wine person."

The reason I thought that is because, in this world, isn't the "deduction system" the mainstream?

At school, people point out when a teacher makes a slip of the tongue; at home, criticisms like "Why haven't you done this?" fly around; and even in parenting, people tend to focus on "what isn't done" rather than "what is done."

Even when we think we're praising someone, we're actually deducting twice as much.

But you know, people aren't perfect.

Everyone makes mistakes, says the wrong thing, gets emotional, or even acts a little mean sometimes.

Politicians, celebrities, influencers—they were all just "ordinary humans" who were once babies.

Yet, one slip of the tongue can lead to immediate backlash, or a scandal can cause their entire character to be dismissed.
Whenever I see things like that, it makes me feel a bit pained.

And then I realize something.
When you view others through a point-deduction system, you end up deducting points from yourself as well.That's what I realize.

"I'm not good enough like this."
"Maybe I said something unnecessary again."
"What if they think this about me?"

By trying so hard to be a perfect person,
you end up focusing only on the things you haven't achieved.

You check yourself too much, and you just keep shrinking away.

Before long, you become cautious about talking to people, and you start feeling tense even during casual small talk to ensure you don't "say the wrong thing."
It even gets to the point where I overthink what I post on X (Twitter).

But you know, that's not fun, is it?
Getting so exhausted just from talking on social media.

Relationships based on a point-addition system are much softer.

"I think this part of you is wonderful."
"You're a bit quirky, but that's part of your charm."
"I don't understand everything, but I really like this way of thinking."

A feeling of "savoring" the whole thing.

Even if someone isn't perfect, they have their own unique character.
Instead of picking out parts of their words or actions, it's about having a perspective that "tries to see" the person as a whole.

If you live by a point-deduction system, the speed at which you start to dislike people gets faster and faster.
Before you know it, you're in a world where there are only a handful of people you actually like.

However, if you look at things through a point-addition system, the number of people you can think of as "we don't quite click here, but I like that about them" keeps growing.

And strangely enough, people who also view others through a point-addition system start to gather around you.

Which system feels more comfortable, the point-deduction one or the point-addition one?
It might be worth asking yourself that question, just a little bit.

Moving from a world of mutual deduction to a world of mutual addition.
When it comes to socializing, I'm definitely
a wine person♡

Relationships where you can speak your true feelings surely can't grow in a point-deduction system.
That's why I want to keep adding points, little by little, to both myself and others.
No matter what perspective those around me have, I want to be that way myself.