#70 I want to be proud of being able to keep writing

Today is the 70th day since I started note.
I realized that I have exceeded the 66 days set for the writing x running challenge, even though I didn't officially participate.

I write about this all the time, but the only reason I've been able to keep going like this is because there are people reading my work. That's all there is to it.
And, in these 70 days,writing articles has completely become a part of my life.
I've started thinking "What should I write today?" with the same mindset as "What should I have for dinner?"

Thanks to continuing to write, I've gained a little more confidence in my writing.
However,I never thought that continuing to write was anything particularly special.
I never expected to keep writing for 70 days, though.

But,there was a moment when I thought I could be confident about being able to continue.That was what happened at the drinking party yesterday.

"I have nothing to offer."

Yesterday, I went out for drinks with five male friends at a place near Tokyo Station.
Talk about alcohol, stories about a friend's newlywed life, travel stories, family stories—
Everyone is so good at talking that it's very fun just listening to them.
And just watching my friends talk happily warms my heart.

However,there was a part of me that was comparing myself to my friends.

They're amazing. I don't have that much knowledge about alcohol.
Marriage and children, huh? I don't think I could ever do that.
That's nice, I'm envious because I haven't been able to travel much.

My friends have things, and I have nothing.
I really have nothing.
Compared to my friends,I felt my own emptiness.

At the second party afterward.
My friends are all engineers, and the conversation turned to what kind of work they do and what programming languages they use.
Of course, I'm in a completely different field, so I couldn't follow the conversation at all without my friends' explanations.

Yes,I am a person from a different field.Even so, I blamed myself there too for having nothing.

My friends are working while learning difficult languages every day. They are truly amazing.
And yet, I am so ignorant.
I am a person who can't do anything.

Really,should someone like me, who has nothing, be here?
I had no choice but to seek help from the ginger highball in front of me.

At that moment, someone asked me, "How's work lately?"
If I were to talk about "lately," I couldn't leave out the existence of note.
I kept the work talk brief and decided to talk about note.

"I started note two months ago. Tomorrow will be my 70th day, and I've been writing every day."

The seeds of confidence were lying at my feet

As I wrote earlier, I didn't think writing every day was anything particularly special.
So I just said it casually... but.

"Wait, every day!?"
"For 70 days!?"
"Isn't that amazing!?"

The reaction was more than I expected,to the point that I was the one who was surprised.
Also, one of my friends said that even if they wanted to write about their favorite alcohol or their own activities related to alcohol, they find it difficult to do so.

According to my friends, what I do casually...
Writing and updating note every day.
These are things thatare not easily done by everyone.That's why my friends genuinely praised me.

When I heard that, I remembered.
That the grass is always greener on the other side.

And, at the same time, I thought.
The act of writing, of continuing to write, which I do so casually.
I can make those things my own source of confidence.

Let's be proud of being a noter.

This time, I reflected deeply.
First, regarding my friends.
I have kind friends who work and live while learning a language, and who even provide supplementary explanations so that I, who don't understand programming, can join the conversation.
There was no way I had nothing.

And, regarding my activities on note.
I hadn't been able to take pride in the fact that I was writing and that I was continuing to do so.

Until yesterday, I thought of it as something taken for granted.
However,Being able to do the ordinary things in an ordinary way is an amazing thing.
I can be confident in that.

This is something I wouldn't have understood if I hadn't continued.
I'm glad I kept going. I'm glad I was able to make it a part of my life.

Being able to write.
Being able to continue note every day.
And, being a noter.

I decided that I would firmly take pride in those things.