Self-Introduction | My First Note

Hello, I'm Reipon.
I'm an older mom who gave birth to my son at 40 and am currently raising a three-year-old boy.

Having finally arrived here after overcoming six years of fertility treatment and depression,
I decided to start a note because I wanted to create a "place" for myself.

To start, I thought I'd write an article that serves as a self-introduction to show you "what kind of person I am."

I'll enjoy writing this, so please do your best to read it.

■ Giving birth to my son at 40

After about six years of fertility treatment, I became pregnant and gave birth at 40.

Fertility treatment was truly difficult.
I think I was desperate with my work and treatment at the time.

One day, I suddenly couldn't get up and couldn't go to work. It was truly sudden.

Then, I was diagnosed with depression,
and I had no choice but to take a leave of absence from the job I had been working so hard at.

And at this moment, I thought, "I'm going to stop fertility treatment."

It was the first time I had thought that after continuing treatment for six years.

"I'll try (in vitro fertilization) just one more time, and if it doesn't work, I'll give up."

To my surprise, I was able to get pregnant on that "last one time."

It is a precious, precious life that I was blessed with precisely because I was able to try "one more time."


And now, I am able to raise my child like this.

■ The reality of an older mom with a three-year-old son

Just the other day, that son of mine turned three.

If I had to describe my son in one word, it would be "talkative."

He talks so much that people around us say, "He talks a lot!" or "He's so good at talking!"

Recently, he's been into sea creatures (especially deep-sea creatures) and teaches me all sorts of things.

"Vampire squids are neither octopuses nor squids!"
"Megamouth sharks are gentle sharks!"
(For some reason, my child often speaks in polite language.)

As for me, I feel like I've been constantly feeling my age over these past three years.
(Or should I say I've been worrying about my age...?)

・Even though three years have passed since giving birth, my fatigue doesn't recover (or so it feels)

・My catchphrase is "Ah, I'm tired~" (→ I really think I need to be careful about this)

・When I pick up my son, I always end up saying "Heave-ho!" with a lot of energy

・No matter how hard I try with skincare, the firmness and glow I lost during pregnancy and childbirth won't return

Is this the fate of an older mom?

......Or is it just me?


Thinking about things like that, I struggle through childcare every day.

■ Why I started note

My daily routine is watching videos of older moms on YouTube.
I have been empathized with, cheered up, and encouraged by them more times than I can count.

But last month, it happened.
Partings come suddenly.

An older mom YouTuber I always looked forward to watching quit YouTube.

One of my joys disappeared.
I felt unbearably lonely. And I regretted that I had never left a single comment.

"You know, parting is harder for the one being left behind than for the one leaving. The one leaving is surprisingly okay with it."


The words a senior colleague once told me when I was an office worker popped into my head.


And then I had an idea.

"In that case, I'll create a fun place myself. Then I'll be the one leaving."


That's right. By nature, I'm a chatterbox.

I could even say that talking is how I relieve stress.
So, sharing my own thoughts might be more fun than just watching.

That's why I started this note.

■ What I want to write about on note

In this note, I would like to write about:
・Little discoveries and tips while raising children
・The reality of giving birth and raising children at an older age
・What I felt through fertility treatment
・Introductions to my favorite picture books and parenting books (reading is my hobby)

I'm full of enthusiasm.
I hope to write about these things.

"Maybe I'll try this too"
"I feel a bit more energized"

I would be happy if this note could make people feel that way.

■ Finally | To moms and dads in similar situations

Fertility treatment and child-rearing are truly painful once you start worrying.
It's lonelier than I thought, and even though I know I shouldn't, I end up comparing myself to others.

I realized this keenly after experiencing many years of fertility treatment and child-rearing.

Let's enjoy raising our children!
And let's enjoy our present and our future!
I hope we can share that time together.

That was Reipon's first note.
Thank you for reading!

See you next time!