I want to work in a way that feels human.

Good evening 🌛
It's Niji 🌈

I haven't been around for a while.
Here is a recent update.

Until today

I was away from home on a long trip, and I had many opportunities to be inspired. While I could feel various things happening within me, I found it difficult to put them into words.

And even though I know now is the time to rest, I still have so many things to do and plans to keep. I realized that I just can't help but pack my schedule. I haven't changed at all, I thought. Haha.

None of these things are unpleasant; they are things I sought out, things I want to do, or places I want to go.

When I actually look at my schedule and see it full, I think I want to take it easier, but

at the same time, I wonder if I've recovered enough to be this active,

or if it's just my nature to want to be on the move, or if I'm seeking stimulation,

and while I was thinking about such things, I was reading everyone's articles on Note, but I stayed away from posting.

Today, for the first time in a while, I thought I might be able to write, so I opened Note.
I'd like to ramble a bit about my recent updates.

Visiting Ise

For my long trip, I went to Ise with my family.
There was an event called "Hiten Sō-Nō" where Noh performances were dedicated at Ise Jingu. Leading up to that day, there were lecture series explaining the Noh to be performed, lectures on the history of Japanese Kagura, and symposiums featuring the artisans who support traditional performing arts and various scholars.

It was a very large-scale event, and it was a precious opportunity to see Noh dedicated at the sacred site of Ise Jingu for free in person.

I was able to visit the Geku and Naiku of Ise Jingu, as well as the Tsukiyomi-no-miya and Tsukuyomi-no-miya shrines, and the Sarutahiko Shrine.

I also visited Okage Yokocho, where I was able to experience making aroma candles, and I enjoyed eating my way through the Oharai-machi street adjacent to Okage Yokocho, making it a very satisfying trip.

What was happening within me

It was a very satisfying trip, and I was inspired from many different angles. It was a journey that softened my previously biased perspectives and gave me a broader outlook.

It became an opportunity to realize my own ignorance, and I thought that life is a lifelong study.
When I talked to one person, I thought that I could be more honest about what I was thinking.
When I talked to another person, I felt elated, sensing new possibilities that what I had done so far was not in vain.
And I met many different people. I felt deeply grateful for the connections I made in this way.

I was made to realize that there are many people who, even if I don't see it, are making invisible efforts every day, keeping their feet on the ground, and living their lives firmly.

I didn't want to be someone who is used

I think I have lived my life since I was small with the question, "What will I become when I grow up?"

I think that is because I couldn't imagine what specific profession I would have in the future.

However, I vaguely thought, "I don't want to be a salaryman."
To me at the time, salarymen were the people with tired faces on the train.

Looking back now, I think "not wanting to be a salaryman" meant I didn't want to spend my days being used by a company, sacrificing myself, and becoming exhausted.

In other words, I think it meant I wanted to work while maintaining a sense of "self."

Working in a human way

What does it mean to work with a sense of "self"?

There are still parts I cannot put into words, but if I try to articulate it,

working while expressing my humanity as "me,"
working while utilizing my individuality,

is what I think it means.

Strengths and weaknesses are two sides of the same coin.
Strengths are a person's individuality.
Because there is individuality, that person appears attractive.

I want to work in a human way.

I realized that is what I have been thinking.

Exhausted from trying hard

Recently, the term "work-life balance" has become familiar, and there is a trend that work and private life should be compatible, but

when I hear that word, I somehow think,
work is a place to try hard, home is a place to catch your breath,
that I should try hard at work, try hard at home, and try to balance both to make them fulfilling.

I understand that it means trying to balance things so that you don't neglect one in order to work hard at the other, but
I also feel that

you have to try hard wherever you go,
and there is no place to catch your breath.

There is no one who isn't trying hard at home, and
why shouldn't there be a place to catch your breath at work, too?

It might just be an ideal, but
I wish that everyone could value themselves,
work in their own way,
and build a home that is true to them.

Finally

Thank you for reading Niji's note here today as well!

Since it has been a while, this post ended up being a bit long.

I will do my best without overdoing it.
I have started to feel that it might be okay to try my best little by little. However, I will not push myself too hard.
I will make sure to value that discernment.

Everyone, please stay warm.
Let's meet again 🌷.*