The gift that the challenge gave me.

Hello🌱
It's Niji🌈

Today, I'm writing an update on how things have been.
The "challenge" I declared at the end of April has finally come to an end.

I've summarized the exam results and how I'm feeling at this moment.
I hope you enjoy reading it♪

My journey so far👇

Exam results

This series of challenges that I've been calling my "challenge" up until now.
It was a recruitment exam.

After quitting my previous job and slowly recovering, various circumstances led me to take a civil service recruitment exam.

First, there was the written exam, followed by two rounds of interviews.
I did all the preparation I could for them.

Fortunately, and to my own surprise, I was able to make it all the way to the final exam.

And then, the day of the results announcement arrived.
Feeling nervous and restless, I checked the results online.

"Unfortunately, you have not passed."

That was the notification I received.

Looking at the screen, I felt all the strength drain from my body.
I was stunned for a while.

Then, while still in shock, I reported it to the people around me, and all sorts of feelings welled up.

After writing things down on paper, talking to people, and processing it within myself, a few days have passed since the announcement.

I want to leave behind what I think and what I can say at this moment.

I haven't changed at all

This might be sudden, but just because I didn't pass doesn't mean I have changed at all.

It may sound a bit dramatic, but


I have not been hurt by anything.


That is how I felt.

I felt that I had to be someone who could do something.
Otherwise, I wouldn't be recognized or accepted.

I had that assumption somewhere inside me.

If I had passed, that assumption might have remained without being wiped away.

Failure.
In the eyes of the world, it is a failure.

However, I have not been hurt by anything, and I have not changed.
I was happy that I could remain the person who thinks that way.

What remained?

What I saw after receiving the rejection.

It was the warmth of people and the importance of taking on challenges.

After receiving the notification, I reported it to my family and loved ones.

Tears that didn't come when I was looking at the notification alone started to overflow as I reported it and talked about it.

"Niji, you worked hard."

"I thought either outcome was possible. A day will surely come when you feel this was for the best."

That is what they said to me.

They are not the kind of people who would belittle or mock me for failing.

I am now with people who can say such warm words.

I felt very grateful for that.

Through the challenge

And, what I thought after reflecting on this series of challenges in my own way.

How people around me reacted while I was taking on the challenge.

Seeing me positively working on what I could do at the time, the people around me worried about me so I wouldn't overdo it, and cheered me on with smiles.

When I move forward brightly, the people around me also become bright and smile.
I was able to experience that.

While I was facing the challenge, there were times when I couldn't maintain my motivation well and felt painful.

But, not giving up, and being able to do my best at each moment.

Not getting discouraged, and being able to keep looking forward.

I think now that perhaps that was the most meaningful experience of all.

Drawing the future from here on out

And then it came,
the 'So, what do I do now?' problem.

It had existed before as well, but while I was working toward the employment exam, I had the justification that I was working toward a goal, but that is gone now.

However, as I have mentioned so far, I have not become pessimistic.

The situation has not changed at all, but my way of accepting and perceiving it has changed significantly.

There is no need to be impatient, wondering if I could have done more if I had done my best at each moment, and I should just praise myself for being able to stack up what I can do, one by one.

It is by no means groundless confidence,
but a sense of 'it will be okay' that wells up precisely because I have done everything I can.

The feeling of believing in myself.

No matter what happens,
to keep looking forward without getting discouraged.

Being able to experience this state ofpositivethinking, which seems simple but was difficult.
I think that is the gift the challenge gave me.

For the sake of the people around me,
for my own sake,
I, and everyone, happiness for everyone.
In order to embody that,
after all, I am the 'King of Smiles',
and I want to always be positive.

Therefore, when I think about the future,
there are mountains of tasks,

but I wonder what I should challenge next~♪

With that mindset, I don't want to stop challenging myself,
and I want to take action one by one!

Finally

Thank you so much for reading this far!

At last, the heat has softened, feeling a bit like the lingering summer heat.
I hope you are all doing well.

Take care.

Let's meet again 🌷´-

I wrote about the Smiling King here.
Please take a look at that as well if you'd like 🌱