To you who were able to say 'Help'…… Even if you are laughed at or rejected, that courage will never fade. | Habits of Love to Learn to Like Yourself ③

Even though you raised your voice to say 'Help'……

What came back was cold indifference or mockery.
At that moment, did your heart not shrink deep inside,
and did you not feel as if you were being crushed by the smallness of your own existence?

You were dismissed with 'Don't be spoiled.'
You were laughed at with 'That's not a big deal.'

Even so, you certainly summoned the courage to raise your voice.
That fact alone is more than enough to make you wonderful.

Self-denial can sometimes begin with the 'voices of others'.

'I wasn't helped because I am weak.'
'Someone like me is not needed.'

I understand the feeling of blaming yourself like that, it hurts to even think about it.
However, please remember this.

That voice of denial is not your own true heart, but perhaps
it is just the cold words of others taking on a new form.

The real you did not raise your voice because you are weak.
You were able to summon the courage to say 'Help' precisely because you had tried your absolute best.

'You who asked for help' were already strong.

Asking for help is not a sign of weakness.
Rather, it is proof of the 'strength' to acknowledge your own limits and try to connect with others.

However, unfortunately, society is sometimes cold,
and there is even a tendency to look down on 'people who beg for help.'
When exposed to such unreasonableness, the heart is deeply wounded, and eventually, the seeds of self-denial begin to sprout.

But please, do not blame yourself.
Your dignity is not something that can be diminished by anyone's laughter.

Words of comfort for you

Here, I would like to offer you a few words.

🌸 'You were brave to ask for help.'
🌸 'Being rejected does not take away your value.'

Please, repeat these softly in your heart.
It is fine if you do not believe them yet.
Just by 'pretending to believe,' your heart will gradually move toward recovery.

A small step you can take tonight

Healing does not begin with dramatic changes,
but with very small actions.

Tonight, please try speaking to yourself in front of the mirror.

'Thank you for being alive today.'
'I did well to ask for help.'

Those words will become a light that warms your heart just a little,
and eventually grow into a light that illuminates your future.

Kotonoha Habits of Love

🌸 Kotonoha-style dialogue — Time to face the 'voice of denial'

Reader's inner voice
'Anyway, no one understands me.'
'I have a past where I was rejected even after asking for help. Won't it be the same from now on?'

Kotonoha's response
'No, the fact that you were rejected in the past was indeed painful.
However, it is not decided that it will be repeated forever.
The courage to 'ask for help again in a different way' will surely change the future.'

🌸 Practical Work 1 | Give a 'name' to the voice of denial

1. Please prepare a sheet of paper.

2. Write down your 'current inner voice' as it is in the left column.
Example: 'I am worthless', 'It's useless even if I try'

3. Let's rewrite the 'true identity of that voice' in the right column.
Example: 'Anxiety because there are no results', 'Memories of being hurt in the past'

👉 By rewriting it, you can realize that 'this is not me myself, but a situation or a memory.'

Why do this work?

The voice of denial covers the heart like a vague 'shadow'.
But by giving it a name, you can distinguish that 'this is not me myself, but a situation or a memory.'
Once the shadow is given an outline, it is no longer an 'unidentified fear.'
With this, light begins to shine into your heart.

🌸 Practical Work 2 | Create a 'Courage Notebook'

✨ Write down the small courage you had today to 'ask for help.'

✨ Record the fact that you 'were able to speak up' rather than what kind of reaction you got back.

💡 If you continue this for one week, a new realization that 'I am a person who can speak up' will accumulate within you.

Why do this work?

People inevitably evaluate themselves by 'results'.
But by re-focusing on the action of 'speaking up' itself,
the realization that 'I am a person who can take action' accumulates.
Recording courage rather than results is an important step in easing self-denial.

🌸 Kotonoha-style Recovery Menu

1. A word for the night
"Thank you for being alive today too"

2. A word for the morning
"Let's start again today"

3. A word for the weekend
"I am proud of myself for making it this far"

Simply by repeating these three "words," self-denial will gradually unravel.

Why do this exercise?

Small daily words change the "constitution" of the heart.
Because you have been showered with words of criticism and denial, a "habit of denial" may have taken root inside you.
That is precisely why, by consciously repeating "words of affirmation,"
you can gradually rewrite your "habits of the heart."

Finally

If you are still unable to say "help" and
your heart feels like it is being crushed.

Please, do not forget.
The moment you had the "courage to speak up,"
you were already sufficiently wonderful and a precious existence.

And that dignity cannot be destroyed by anyone.

So today, instead of blaming yourself,
please gift yourself small, gentle words.

I am always rooting for you✨

Back then, even though you asked for help, all that came back was mockery...

Even so, the "hope" within you has not faded✨

Let us put the true nature of self-denial into words together.
You are worthy of being loved and
it is okay to envision a shining future.

Here,
I offer you the "words" I have spun from my own experience.
Save them, and may they bring you the peace of morning light.