Why children keep choosing the same picture book, the same anime, and the same clothes

“That again?”

Sometimes, I can't help but say it.

The picture book they bring before bed is one we've read countless times.

The anime is the same episode, for which they must already know the lines by heart.

The clothes are the same favorite T-shirt, just freshly laundered.

“There are other ones, you know.”
“Why don't you pick this one today?”
“You already know that story, don't you?”

From a parent's perspective, it's a bit strange.

There are new picture books.
There are different clothes.
There are anime they haven't watched yet.

I want them to enjoy a variety of things, after all.

But recently, I've started to think that my daughter keeps choosing the same things perhaps not just because she isn't bored.

Because they know the ending, they can watch with peace of mind

Before bed, my daughter often brings the same picture book.
It's a book with slightly creased pages.
Because we've read it so many times, I've memorized it halfway through too.

Who will appear next.
Where they will get into trouble.
How it will end.

My daughter knows it all, too.

Even so, she wants to read it again.

Before, I used to think she should read different stories.
But for my daughter, knowing the ending is what's important.

Even if there is a scary scene, she knows it will be okay in the end.
Even if something sad happens, she knows there will be a proper conclusion.

For a child living in a world where they don't know what comes next, a story they know from beginning to end might be a place they can return to with peace of mind.

Laughing every time while watching Totoro

I have My Neighbor Totoro on, which my daughter has watched many times.
As I do chores nearby, I think to myself, 'This again?'

Yet, my daughter laughs at the same parts.

She laughs even though she knows what will happen next.
Sometimes, she even says the lines before they do.

Still, it seems to be funny to her.

Adults tend to find value in new things.

A story they don't know.
Scenery they see for the first time.
Things they haven't experienced yet.

But perhaps children, by repeating things they already know, are discovering things they didn't notice when they first saw them.

They can watch a scene that was scary before with more composure now.
They can understand words a little better that they didn't grasp before.

Even though it looks like they are watching the same thing, a slightly different time is flowing within the child each time.

Wearing the same clothes is not being stubborn

In the morning, my daughter brings out the same clothes.

Clothes she wore yesterday.
Clothes she wore the day before that, too.

They are clean, so it's fine to wear them.
But there are other clothes, too.

“This one is cute, too.”
“Why don't you wear this one today?”

When I say that, my daughter makes a slightly troubled face.

“I want this one.”

Even if I ask for the reason, there are times when she can't explain it well.

It's just that she likes it.

For a child, clothes are not chosen just by how they look,

They are easy to move in.
They like how they feel against their skin.
They have a favorite color.
They were complimented at daycare.
They had a fun day when they wore those clothes.

Or perhaps, there doesn't even need to be a reason.

Even if it's just one piece of clothing to a parent, for a child, it might be a small ritual to start their day with peace of mind.

Sometimes, 'the same thing again' can be a source of support for a child

Adults have routines in their daily lives.

The usual coffee.
The usual commute route.
The usual shop.
The usual music.

Especially when we are tired, we tend to reach for the familiar rather than something new.

Perhaps it is the same for children.

At daycare, all sorts of things happen every day.

Interactions with friends.
Words from teachers.
Things they could do.
Things they couldn't do.
Things they had to endure.

Children spend more time in new situations than they realize themselves.

That is why when they come home, they want to hear stories they know.
They want to watch videos they know.
They want to wear clothes they know.

I feel that this is not because they dislike change, but because they are calming themselves down amidst a daily life full of changes.

Parents want to give their children new things

As parents, we want them to experience a variety of things.

New books.
New games.
New clothes.
New experiences.

This is because we want to broaden our children's world.

But lately, I have come to think that growth is not just about expanding.

Choosing the same thing over and over again.

Reading it many times, laughing many times, and wearing it many times.

In that repetition, children might be confirming what they 'like'.

By returning to what they chose themselves,

"I like this."
"This is safe."
"I can start from here again today."

They are building a small foundation within themselves.

Before saying, "That again?"

The next time my daughter brings the same picture book,

instead of saying, "That again?"

"You want to read this again today, don't you?"

I think I will try saying that.

If she puts on the same cartoon,

"You really like this scene, don't you?"

I will try saying that.

If she chooses the same clothes,

"This is what you want today, isn't it?"

I will accept it.

I don't have to ask for the reason every time.
I don't have to suggest new things.

Perhaps parents don't need to rush to change the places that children keep returning to.

Someday, my daughter will stop bringing the same picture book.
She will get tired of the same cartoon.
The clothes she chooses for herself will change, too.

So for now, I want to watch her as she carefully chooses the same things.

Instead of saying, "The same thing again."

Thinking, as I do today, that this is something my daughter has returned to for peace of mind.