I have thousands of photos of my child, but very few of my family

My smartphone is full of photos of my child

When I open the photo folder on my phone, most of them are pictures of my child.

Playing in the park.
Smiling in front of a birthday cake.
Walking to daycare from behind.
Sleeping while on a trip.
Making a funny pose at home.
Eating a meal on an ordinary day.

It's not just on special days.

The day their hair looked a bit funny.
The day they wore their favorite clothes.
The day they did something for the first time.
The day they were just laughing.

Before I knew it, I had many similar photos too.

Even so, I can't delete them.

Even if they look the same, to a parent, they are all different moments.

But there are few photos of me in them

Looking back at the photos of my child, I suddenly realized something.
There are fewer photos of my child and me together than I thought.
Whether at the park, on a trip, or at a birthday party, I am always the one behind the camera.

When my child laughs, I point my phone at them.
When they are playing, I take a picture.
When they do something, I record a video.

I was so focused on capturing my child's image that I hardly left any record of myself beside them.

I thought I was documenting my child's growth, but perhaps I wasn't documenting the time I spent right next to them.

There is a good reason for being the one behind the camera

It's not that I didn't want to be in the photos.
It's just that when I'm with my child, I naturally become the one taking the pictures.

I want to capture this expression.
This moment will never come back.
I want to show this to the family later.

Thinking that, I instinctively reach for my phone.
Besides, it's a bit of a hassle to be in the picture myself.

My hair isn't done.
I'm wearing my usual casual clothes.
I look tired from coming back from the park.
I want to take a picture on a day when I look a bit more presentable.

Thinking that, I put it off again.
But when you're raising children, there are hardly any 'presentable days.'
The days when my hair is messy, when I'm tired, and when I'm wearing worn-out clothes—that is who I am right now.

It's not just a polished parent that I want to leave behind for my child

When I think about it, perhaps when my child grows up and looks back at these photos, they won't really care whether their parents looked good in them or not.

What they would rather see is,

How they were held.
What kind of expression they had next to me.
Where we went together.
How close we were when we laughed.

Maybe that's just how it is.

Even from a photo of just the child, I can remember that time.

But a photo of parent and child together captures the fact that 'we were truly together at that moment.'

There are many moments that exist in my memory as the one who took the photo, but not in the photos themselves.

The most ordinary photos become the most precious later on

We sometimes take family photos on birthdays or trips.
But what we really lack are photos of ordinary days.

The walk home from daycare.
The usual park.
The time spent reading picture books together at home.
Sitting side by side on the sofa.
The moment they ask to be held.

At the time, I don't think these moments are worth capturing in a photo.

But perhaps it's those ordinary days that we'll find ourselves missing in a few years.

The usual path.
The usual clothes.
The usual room.
The usual distance between parent and child.

Photos that capture the life of that time rather than special events.
I believe those are the photos we will surely want to have later.

The parent not in the photo was also there

When I look back at photos, it sometimes looks as if my child grew up all alone.
But, of course, that's not the case at all.

There was always someone outside the frame of the photo.

The person watching to make sure they didn't fall.
The person calling out to make them laugh.
The person carrying all the bags.
The person calling out 'look this way' over and over.
The person who enjoyed that time while taking the photo.

Even if not in the picture, they were certainly there.
Behind every photo of a child, there is always the parent's time.

It's just that that time is hard to capture in a photo.
That is why it might be worth making a conscious effort to preserve it.

Having few photos does not mean having little love.

Just because there are few photos of you together does not mean you haven't been spending time together.

In fact, there are many expressions you were only able to capture because you were the one behind the camera.

You watched them closer than anyone else.
You noticed their smiles before anyone else.
You pointed your phone at them because you wanted to save that moment.

There is plenty of love in that, too.
So, I don't think you need to blame yourself for not being in the photos until now.

However, it's okay to change things up a little from now on.

Have someone else take a photo of you once in a while.
Use the self-timer.
Even if it's not a perfect smile, be in the photo together.
Take one photo of you and your child on an ordinary day.

I think that's enough.

A record of the family, not just a record of the child

Until now, I only thought about capturing my child's growth in photos.
But the time it takes for a child to grow up is also the time for parents to grow older as well.

When the child was small.
When I was a little younger than I am now.
When I had no time and was tired every day.
Even then, when we were laughing together.

Family photos are a record of your child's growth, but they are also a record of your own time spent as a parent.

Someday, when my child looks back at the photos,
I would be happy if they thought,
"Dad was there with me at this time, too."

And for myself,
it would be nice to be able to remember,
"I was right there by their side back then."

I think I'll try to be in the next one

I think the number of photos of my child on my smartphone will continue to grow.

Smiling faces.
Crying faces.
Silly faces.
The way they grow a little bit at a time.

I want to keep capturing plenty of those.
But next time I take a photo, I think I'll try to be in it once in a while.

Even if my hair isn't done.
Even in worn-out clothes.
Even with a slightly tired face.

Because that is who our family is right now, including those aspects.
I have thousands of photos of my child, but not many of my family.

It is not too late to start, even now that you have realized this.

Just one photo on an ordinary day.

I think I will try to capture myself alongside my children as well.