There are things everyone else can do that I cannot

“Why is it that everyone else can do this so easily?”

There are days when I think that.

There are people who can make decisions and move forward quickly at work.
There are people who can speak in front of others without hesitation.
There are people who manage their household chores properly every day, listen to their children, and never lose their composure.

It is even more so when I look at social media and the like.

People who make bento boxes from the morning.
People who play carefully with their children.
People who value both their work and their own time.

Even though I know that what I am seeing is only the part of them that is succeeding, the things I am failing at stand out all too clearly.

Things I cannot do immediately become my shortcomings

There are days when my daughter calls out, “Look at this,” and I cannot stop what I am doing.
I say, “Wait a moment,” and that moment stretches on for too long.

I intended to play before putting them to bed, but before I know it, I am just watching the clock.

I should have been able to listen with a smile.
I should have been able to respond more kindly.
I should have been able to do it better.

Such regrets are scattered everywhere every single day.

Things that come naturally to someone else, I cannot do.
Every time that happens, I feel like I am the only one who is lacking.

But if I start counting the things I cannot do, there is no end to it.
Because everyone has things they are not good at.
Or rather, I think that even when we are doing the same thing, we are using different amounts of energy.

Things that are nothing to someone else can take a great deal of effort for me.

Conversely, things I do without thinking might be difficult for someone else.

Things that are too normal for me to notice

A long time ago, someone said to me,

“It’s amazing that you can notice things to that extent.”

I was a little surprised.
Because for me, I had just happened to notice it.

The way someone’s expression clouded over slightly.
The troubles that were never put into words.

Even when I notice things, I don't really feel like I'm being helpful.
If anything, I worry too much and sometimes end up exhausted.

But that was something that person couldn't see.

And perhaps the 'ability to move forward without hesitation' that I envy in someone else is not something special to them either.

What I can do feels too ordinary to me.
That is why I don't think of it as a talent or a strength.

But from someone else's perspective, it can sometimes be seen as 'amazing'.

When we compare, we only look at the parts that are different.

'I wish I could do it like that person.'

I don't think there is anything wrong with thinking that way itself.

Admiration can sometimes be a catalyst for moving forward.
However, trying to become that person will only make you miserable.

There are things that person can do that are difficult for me.
Conversely, there are things I can do that are difficult for that person.

Yet, we only line up what the other person can do with what we cannot.

When we do that, it always looks like we are losing.

Even though it is not actually about winning or losing.

It might just be that our strengths are different.
It might just be that what we value is different.

What only you can do doesn't have to be something grand.

When we hear the phrase 'something only you can do,' we tend to think of special talents.

Work that no one else can imitate.
Great achievements.
The power to surprise people.

But I think it is fine for it to be something much smaller.

I was able to listen to my daughter without interrupting her.
I noticed what my wife was struggling to say before she said it.
I quietly picked up something someone had forgotten.
I was able to put into words feelings that were hard to express.

That might not be noticeable.
It might not be praised by anyone.

But there are surely times when, just because that person was there, you felt a little helped, a little relieved, or a little saved.
Those moments definitely exist.

What only you can do doesn't have to be something dramatic.
It is the perspective of that person, the voice of that person, and the things that only come into existence because that person is there.

I believe that in itself is meaningful enough.

Don't leave your incapable self behind so quickly

There are things others can do that I cannot.

That fact will likely not change in the future.

I also have days when I run out of patience.
There are also days when I wonder, 'Why am I like this?'

But at times like that, I want to avoid leaving my incapable self behind so quickly.

Because there are things I cannot do, I can rely on others.
Because there are things I cannot do, I can understand the feelings of those who cannot do them.
It is precisely because there are things I cannot do that I can search for what I can do.

It is okay if you cannot do things the same way as everyone else.
It is okay if you are not imitating someone else.

If only I could find one thing that I can do as I am now.

With eyes that have only been looking at what I cannot do, I would like to try, once in a while, to look for the things that only I could do.