“Change how you communicate, and your relationships will change.” — Insights from a day I felt frustrated by a colleague leaving on time as a leader
“I’m still here, so why are you already leaving?”
“Do they even want to help?”
One day, that frustration welled up inside me.
Seeing a colleague leave on time,
I found myself thinking that.
But now, I can say it clearly:
Leaving on time is not a crime.
I work as a team leader.
Full-time employees, contract workers, temporary staff—
there are people in various positions, and everyone has different reasons for working and different backgrounds.
In addition to my practical duties, I also have the role of
balancing the workload within the team. Is the work
piled up on someone? Are they
pushing themselves too hard behind the scenes? Keeping an eye on those things is part of my job.
That’s exactly why, when someone looks like they have some breathing room,
“I wish they could help out a little more…” is something I honestly feel.
Perhaps I’ve lived my life believing that
“you should help those in need.” When I was truly
struggling, there was someone who quietly
supported me. I still can’t forget the
warmth of that moment, even now. That’s why I believe it’s my turn to
help someone else. I want to be part of a team that naturally supports one another,
and I believed somewhere that trying to be that way was the right thing to do.
But then, it suddenly dawned on me.
Not everyone is workingwith the same values. That person might have their own circumstances.
Family matters, health issues, or personal life. They might just be choosing to
“do what they can, within their capacity.”
After all,
“cooperation does not equal overtime”
and “responsibility does not mean staying late.”
It is only natural that people have different ways of working
and priorities.
Once my perspective shifted like that, I started asking myself questions too.
Am I unconsciously imposing my own sense of right and wrong?
Am I making assumptions without knowing the other person's situation? Of course, the feeling of
“I want you to help” didn't disappear. But I made sure to
process that thought properly as a feeling within myself. And then, I decided to speak up. Instead of venting
my emotions or blaming
the other person, I simply put my feelings
into gentle words.
“Lately, the workload for the whole team has been getting a bit uneven. If you ever have a day where you have some breathing room, it would be a huge help if you could keep an eye on those around you.”
That is how I put my thoughts into words. And then, from the
next day on, that colleague said this to me.
“Is there anything heavy on your plate today?
I’ll help out as much as I can.”
Those words made me trulyhappy.
If you talk properly, it will be conveyed properly.
We can support each other in a natural, effortless way.
I felt that kind of atmosphere gradually beginning to emerge.
Leaving on time is not a crime.
Everyone is working withtheir ownsense ofstance.Their
backgroundsandvaluescan be different for each person.It’s okay for them to be different.
As a leader,there are days when I carry variousthoughts and feelings,but that is precisely why I want to continue valuing “trying to understand” and “talking properly”
withoutsuperficialjudgmentsbased only on actions.I don’t want to judgebased only on“
trying to know” and “talking properly”are things I want to continue to cherish.I believe that building on these things will surely change the team’s atmosphere little by little.
And I believe it will also lead to a better working environment for me personally.
Thank you for reading.
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