😌 The day my emotions exploded and I regained my kindness

🧸 Introduction

The day I lost control of my emotions and exploded.
But what lay beyond that was a version of myself that had regained its kindness.

Crying, feeling down, and being supported by friends and family...
I am looking back on the process of how my heart became calm by making small adjustments and cooperating while interacting with Ku.

🌿 Recent changes in my feelings

Lately, my heart has been very calm.

I was feeling irritated so often, and then one day I just suddenly exploded...
Once that happened, I would start crying no matter what I was doing, and I couldn't control my own feelings anymore.

But I'm sure that crying is important, and having someone listen to you is also important.
I feel once again that those things become the strength to overcome.

When I was feeling deeply depressed, a friend contacted me at just the right moment for some reason.
I am truly grateful for their presence 😌

The presence of friends is truly great, isn't it? ✨

🐾 Interacting with Ku

The hardest part was feeling irritated because of Ku, but now that's gone, and I've become able to be kind naturally 🥰

Even I wonder, 'Is this the same person?' (lol)

When my feelings are calm, it seems Ku's life doesn't get disrupted either, and he has started to sleep a little bit more at night.

If Ku is awake when I'm getting sleepy, I've started asking my husband to watch him without pushing myself.
And when Ku falls asleep, he carries him and brings him to my bed.

He still asks for food quite a lot, but I've somehow started to get the hang of it 🙌
When Ku wakes up and trots toward the kitchen, it's a request for food.

So if I prepare it quickly at that time, our intentions meet, and we can resolve it while staying calm 🤭

🤝 Understanding each other little by little

Overcoming things one by one, solving them, and understanding each other.
I think that's how our relationship naturally gets better.

Since we can't communicate with words, it's difficult because we can't understand each other's demands right away, but because we've lived together for many years, I can see Ku's personality and 'what he wants me to do'.

And yet, there was a part of me that would pretend not to see, push back, or stubbornly try to stick to the rules...

But I realized that wouldn't solve anything.

🍼 Memories of when he was a puppy

I remembered that I hit a similar wall when Ku was still a puppy.

I had a period of parenting burnout from the frustration of things not going my way, and I would cry every day on the sofa that Ku couldn't climb onto yet.

Why can't you do this?
Why do you bite?
Why do you cause trouble?

Those were days filled with nothing but worries like that.

But it's natural for a baby not to be able to do things, and it was really painful until I realized that.

Since Ku was separated from his parents and siblings early on, I think he couldn't do anything, like how to be affectionate or learn from them. So, it might have been much harder than with an average puppy.
So, it might have been much harder than with an average puppy.

Even so, in the end, what solved it was my mindset.

I would praise him when he could do one thing, and when he couldn't, I would think, 'Let's try again next time,' and little by little...

I realized that when I get frustrated, Ku gets frustrated in the same way, so maybe our personalities are similar (laughs).

It's surely the same now; we both get frustrated when the number of things we can't do increases one by one. That's exactly why I think my role is to think of measures so that doesn't happen.

🛠️ Future adjustments

We live in an era with many convenient goods now.

For the things Ku can no longer do, I want to find items like that to solve them.

Finding his favorite rug also made me feel much more at ease.
The number of times he can get up on his own has increased, and that makes me happy too 💖

Until now, I had to lift his entire body weight to help him up, but now that he can plant his little feet on the rug, he can stand up with just a little support from one hand ✨

🤲 Asking for help

And, although I haven't relied on him much until now, I'm also getting my husband to cooperate.

I feel once again that it's important to put into words exactly what I want and how I want it done, and to communicate what I need help with.

Because of my personality, I have a tendency to try too hard, thinking, "I can do it alone" or "I'll manage somehow..."
So, when I get overwhelmed, everything I've been holding in just snaps!

By having that happen this time, I feel like I was finally able to say, "I can't do this alone anymore! I need help! I need support!"

Even so, when someone asks, "Is there anything I can do?" I still find myself answering, "Yeah, I'm fine."
But I think I'll try to change that little by little.

I believe that by changing little by little, my days with Ku, as well as my time with my family, will become much more peaceful.

They might refuse to help with the housework, but they should be able to help with taking care of Ku.
I hope to build a way for us to cooperate with each other, little by little. 😌