Why I decided to build a house in my 16th year of marriage

Hello everyone, this is Nozomi☘️.

Today, I would like to talk a little bit about why I decided to build a house in my 16th year of marriage.

It wasn't that I was dissatisfied with my current life.

Currently, I live in a 2LDK apartment with a rent of 42,000 yen.
It is spacious enough for a couple, and we have lived in the same apartment ever since we got married.

My mother also lives in a different building on the same property, so the distance is just right, and I have never felt any particular inconvenience.

Moreover, for that rent, we can rent two outdoor parking spaces, and the garage under the house serves as a spacious storage area.
There is also a fairly large empty space next to the parking lot, so even though it is an apartment, the environment is such that we can even have barbecues.

Thinking about it now, I think we were quite blessed.

That is why, until this time last year, I really never thought I would build a house.

My mother's words were the trigger.

In the midst of that, my mother started saying to me,
"I'm worried about the future, so I want to live with you."

At first, I also thought,
"Maybe that is one way to live,"
and decided to go look at some pre-owned properties.

But as we actually looked at properties together and imagined our future life, I gradually started to think,
maybe living together is difficult after all
.

The reason I decided not to live together.

My mother has always been a bit of a worrier, and we have clashed in the past.

Of course, it's not that I dislike her, and I have a desire to help if I can.
But I felt that if we were to live together forever, we would both end up exhausted.

Even when I consulted with people around me, almost all the responses were,
"I think you should stop living together."

Women tend to clash when they get too close, and as we get older, issues like forgetfulness and nursing care might arise.
At that time, you will be the one who has the hardest time.
Everyone was worried about me like that.

It is not an environment where I have children and need help.
There was also the anxiety that if my mother entered our life as a couple, our current free lifestyle might change.

And after thinking about it in many ways, I decided not to live with my mother.

Although I felt sorry, it was still a necessary decision.

I think my mother truly believed we would live together.
She was quite shocked when I told her otherwise.

I felt sorry, too.
But when I thought about the rest of my life, I realized thatchoosing a distance that feels comfortable for me is also important.

The new house is only about a five-minute drive from our current apartment.
We aren't moving completely away.

I am now thinking that once things settle down, one option might be to have her rent a nearby apartment and move here.

The incident with my husband's father was also a major turning point.

Around that same time, there was also an issue with my husband's father.

We had often been pushed around by his money issues in the past, but one time, because he had fallen several months behind on his rent and was told he would have to move out by the end of the month if he didn't pay, he asked to borrow about 300,000 yen, so I even had him sign a promissory note before lending it to him.

Despite that, he became impossible to reach immediately afterward.

This incident led us to effectively cut ties with my husband's father.

Honestly, I was very tired.
But at the same time, I think it was also a catalyst for reevaluating various human relationships and entanglements.

Finally able to think about a 'house for ourselves'

I wouldn't live with my mother.
The relationship with my husband's father was severed.

Once that happened, for the first time, I felt
“Maybe it’s okay to think about a life for ourselves from now on✨”
I was able to think that.

Besides, I was considering side jobs and independence, so I also had a desire for a workspace where I could focus on PC work in the future.

I started wanting to think about not just a place to live, but
a house that suits our future way of life.

I looked at used houses, but for some reason, they didn't feel right.

At first, I was also considering used houses.
I think I actually went to see about ten of them.

But none of the properties really clicked with me.

I wish the flow of the plumbing was a bit more connected.
I would have liked the living room to face south.
I might prefer the wallpaper to be a slightly more subdued, dark color.

In that way, every house had a small
“I wish it were a little more like this.”

That made me think that a new build might be better.

When I told the real estate agent about this, they suggested,
"In that case, buying a cheap property and doing a large-scale renovation is also an option."
I agreed with that suggestion.

Certainly, I think that is one way to go.

However, no matter how beautifully you renovate, as long as it is a used property, the foundation itself remains old.

When I thought about it that way, I started to think,
rather than spending money on a house where you never know what might happen, wouldn't it be better to have a new build where we can live with peace of mind from the start?
I began to feel that way.

If we are going to live somewhere, it should be a house we can customize to our liking.
Little by little, my feelings leaned toward a new build.

I decided to start by visiting just three companies.

Around the time I started thinking that, I began to notice various advertisements for house manufacturer open house events on Instagram.

Once you start thinking about a house, it's strange how that kind of information just naturally comes to you, isn't it?

However, I felt like I would get confused if I looked at too many, so I first booked viewings for the three companies that caught my eye.

And in the end, I decided on one of these three companies.

That story seems like it will be long, so I will continue it next time (ᵔᴥᵔ)

By the way,

The timing for deciding to build a house after getting married is really different for everyone, isn't it?

Some people think about building after a few years, while others think about it after living somewhere for a while, and I think the triggers and priorities are all different.

"Why did you decide to build at that time?"
"What was important to you in building your home?"

If you have any stories like that, I would be very happy if you could share them with me ☺️