The Truth Overlooked by People Who Often Say, "That's Difficult, Right?"
"That's difficult, right?"
Let's consider the characteristics of people who have this as a habit.
How did you become able to do it?
During casual conversation, a friend might ask about a task I've mastered,
"Mako, how did you become able to do such-and-such?"
At that time, I answer sincerely,
"I became able to do it by doing such-and-such."
Then, the friend asks again,
"That's difficult, isn't it?"
The answer to this question can be either YES or NO; it doesn't really matter.
The question "That's difficult, right?" does not seem to be asking whether it is difficult or not for me. It is a phrase uttered when the questioner themselves has already decided that it is difficult.
It sounds like they are comforting themselves by saying, "It's natural that I can't do difficult things, so it can't be helped," trying not to blame themselves for not being able to do it.
What does "difficult" mean?
Now, what does "difficult" actually mean in the first place?
The criteria for whether something is difficult or easy are judged subjectively based on the type of task and a person's skills. There is almost no statistical data that says something is difficult because only 1 in 10 people can do it, or easy because 10 out of 10 people can do it.
Something might be easy for me but difficult for you, and vice versa. I believe that difficulty is judged subjectively based on each task being undertaken and the skills that person has acquired so far.
Many of the skills I have acquired in the past were things I wanted to do of my own volition. Since I knew the methods and means to achieve them, all I had to do was execute them. I just take action.
Whether it is difficult or easy is irrelevant here; it is necessary to ask only whether it is feasible.
Whether it is feasible
Feasibility refers to evaluating whether a plan or idea can actually be realized. I believe it is necessary to look ahead to see if there is a prospect of achieving it. Let's take four examples. Are the following four things feasible? Example 1: Wanting to become a professional baseball player. Example 2: Wanting to change jobs to a foreign-affiliated company. Example 3: Wanting to become able to speak English. Example 4: Wanting to build assets.
Example 1: Wanting to become a professional baseball player
There is a boy who dreams of becoming a professional baseball player. A boy who belongs to an elementary school youth baseball team has the potential to realize this.
Whether the difficulty level is high or low is irrelevant here. It is only a matter of whether there is a path to follow. The amount of effort required also varies from person to person, so this is also irrelevant. If the person's skills meet the criteria for entering professional baseball through their own efforts, the dream will come true.
Didn't you think, "That's difficult, right?"
That is just what you think; the young baseball player doesn't think that way, which is why they aim for it. After all, there is a possibility.
On the other hand, girls are also members of youth baseball teams in elementary school. Will this girl's dream of becoming a professional baseball player come true? In this case, there is no feasibility. Before talking about whether it is difficult or easy, there is no path to follow.
Example 2: Wanting to change jobs to a foreign-affiliated company
In the case of an office worker who wants to change jobs to a foreign-affiliated company, is there feasibility?
Everyone thinks it depends on the person, right!
I used to work at an American-owned company. It was a good environment, rewarding, and the salary was high, so I recommend it to people who want to increase their annual income by changing jobs. Not limited to American companies, the salary levels of non-Japanese pharmaceutical companies are high.
When I talk about this,
"Isn't that difficult?"
There it is—that line.
Mako's inner voice:
"It is difficult for you because you are not willing to make an effort."
What did you think about the feasibility? Of course, it exists. Even though there is a possibility of realization, I often meet people who throw it away with their own hands.
Example 3: Wanting to be able to speak English
When someone has a desire to be able to speak English, is there feasibility? Since you have read this far, yes, of course there is.
In the first place, the average Japanese person graduates after learning English through high school or university. Since they have learned basic grammar, the difficulty level is low, and it seems achievable.
"Isn't that difficult?"
If you thought that, of course, you are free to think so because you only thought that because you know your own level.
However, please do not repeatedly say "Isn't it difficult?" to highly motivated learners, especially your sons and daughters, and plant the impression that it is impossible when it is actually feasible.
Please do not confine children who have infinite futures into the small world of their parents.
Example 4: Wanting to build assets
This desire is one I hear frequently as I provide financial consultations as a volunteer.
There are methods for building assets. Anyone can do it by following the manual and taking action. Whether the difficulty level is high or low depends on the person, but there is certainly feasibility.
When I give advice during a consultation,
"Isn't that difficult?"
When this line comes from the consultant,
Mako's inner voice:
"You have no motivation, do you?"
is what I want to say.
Is it necessary to win out?
Things that require winning out
Example 1: Wanting to become a professional baseball player
Example 2: Wanting to change jobs to a foreign-affiliated company
require winning out.
To become a professional baseball player, the number of players who can belong to a professional baseball team is determined by rules. You must fit within that quota. No matter how talented you are, if there are many players at a higher level, you cannot enter that quota. In other words, you must win out.
Employment and job changes to foreign-affiliated companies also have limits on the number of people the company is recruiting. Since selection is made through job interviews, you must win out.
University entrance exams are the same. For example, to enter the University of Tokyo, you must fit within a quota of X number of people. To enter a limited quota, you must win out.
Things that do not require winning out
On the other hand,
Example 3: Wanting to be able to speak English
Example 4: Wanting to build assets
These do not require winning out. Everyone who clears a certain standard becomes an achiever. If you accumulate effort, it is feasible and achievable.
◇ ◇ ◇
When discussing difficulty, it seems reasonable to judge that things with quotas that require winning out are difficult, while things that only require clearing a certain standard are not difficult.
I thought that by not judging difficulty based on individual skill or motivation, but by putting it into a slightly different judgment criterion, one might be able to see things differently than usual.
Things that can be achieved solely through your own efforts can have dreams come true depending on your hard work. Since there is no screening by the other party or quota restrictions, you just need to act without making excuses.
Characteristics of people who often say, "Isn't that difficult?"
By saying "Isn't that difficult?" about things that are feasible, aren't you convincing yourself that it's okay if you can't do it?
When you ask, "Isn't that difficult?" and
if the other person answers, "It was difficult, but I was able to do it if I tried hard," do you convince yourself that if it's difficult, it's impossible for you, or
even if the other person answers, "It's easy, you'll be fine if you just take action," do you assume that it's easy for them but difficult for you?
The characteristic of people who often say, "Isn't that difficult?" is that they want to hide the fact that they don't want to take action, so it isa skill born of shifting blame by "branding it as difficult" without any basis.
It seems they are justifying themselves by shifting responsibility to something other than themselves, saying, "I'm not bad, it's just difficult, so it can't be helped."
Since everyone has their own way of living, it is an individual's freedom, but I recommend that you stop once and calmly write down"What is it that I really want to do?".
As long as it is feasible, whether it is difficult or not is irrelevant; all that matters is taking action.
After all, that is something you truly want to do, right!
You should just do it!
Articles related to externalizing blame ↓
いいなと思ったら応援しよう!
NPO法人DaredemoHeroへ寄付します。
私の人生に大きな転機となった団体で里親支援を続けています。
子どもたちの教育資金に活用させていただきます。あなたのチップをお届けします。ご協力お願いします!
ホームページ→ https://daredemohero.com