The Reason My Unease Disappeared - Thinking to Avoid Being Swayed by Someone Else's Negative Words -
Is the title a bit exaggerated? 😄
I thought I'd try writing something a bit different this time.
Whether in the real world or online, don't you sometimes see or hear words like "negative opinions or 'that's wrong'?
I've also felt like, 'Is this being said about me?' before.
Many words that deny things you cherish, your experiences, or your way of thinking can sting even if they aren't directed at you personally.
I thought that perhaps this unease is born the moment you feel that these negative words are directed at you.
If you're carrying that kind of unease, you can't enjoy anything.
So I thought, wouldn't it be easier if I just neutralized the unease itself?
And since I've become more at ease, I'll leave that way of thinking here.
To resolve unease, I first consider securing peace of mind as the top priority.
Because if you don't have peace of mind, you can't judge things calmly, right? 😊
If you feel a bit annoyed at this point, please don't read any further ☺️
Introduction
⚠️This article is not a message for those who criticize.⚠️
Because I myself might be criticizing someone without even realizing it.(Some people might even feel criticized by this very article)
But if I worry about that too much, I won't be able to write anything 😄
So, please think of this as how to deflect things when you are on the receiving end.
Now, here is how I organize my thoughts 😁
※I've made it very mild and gentle, just so you know (〃▽〃) blush
An Answer and a Correct Answer Are Different
This was the root of the problem ( ˙▿˙ )☝
There is such a thing as a wrong answer for a 'correct answer,' but there is no such thing as a wrong answer for an 'answer.'
A correct answer is based on objective facts like 1+1=2, so mistakes do exist.1 is a mistake, right?
Rules and laws are like that too.
On the other hand, an answer is,I think it is the verbalization of subjectivity.
It is a subjective thought that exists within that person.
These are greatly influenced by experience and outlook on life.
Therefore, everyone's answers are different.
And there is no right or wrong in that.
If you think about it that way, most negative words are nothing more than subjectivity.
"Correct answer = objective fact" "Answer = subjectivity"
Why go as far as to deny?
In the first place, why do people deny things?
I think there are several reasons for this.
Among them, I will take upthe most troublesome example I have felt.I will address it.
Creating mistakes in order to make one's own answer the correct one.
This is becausethey lack confidence in their own answers,which are subjective, so they want evidence.
Isn't that why they are turning answers into correct ones?
Since they are finding mistakes in things that originally had no correct answer, that also causes a breakdown in logic.
Philosophy is not a basis for denial or mistakes.
Some people use philosophy as a basis for denial(the reason why it is wrong).as a foundation.
When spoken in terms of philosophy, it sounds plausible, so it creates an illusion as if you are the one who is wrong, but I believe that philosophy has no correct answer and is a question.
(Even philosophy that writes down to a conclusion is just the philosopher's answer.)
That is no different from subjectivity, isn't it? 😄
If you talk about philosophy, that philosophy just comes back to you, doesn't it?
When you look at it calmly,
it's just a matter of saying, 'Oh, so that's your outlook on life.'
The reason people want to deny things even if they have to create errors
They lack confidence in their own answers, so they create errors to reinforce them. By doing so, they want to believe that they are making judgments based on objective facts.
Originally, if you were confident in your answer, you wouldn't need to deny others, right? 😃
I think this is a desperate defense mechanism.
※In my experience, denial stemming from a defense mechanism is the most intense and troublesome kind.
Among them, regardless of defense mechanisms, there are people who purelywant to assert dominance, aim for viral attention, or deny things unconsciously.These people are just attention seekers or clumsy kids.
They are big elementary schoolers.
Therefore, it's just
'Oh my, a big elementary schooler is getting excited'🤭.'Let's watch over them gently as if we were watching children.
People who use technical jargon to overwhelm and deny othersdon't have any intention of communicating with the other person in the first place.
They might just want to confuse the other person on their own turf.If they actually intended to communicate, they would make an effort to break it down so anyone could understand. Neglecting to do that means
they don't want to convey something to someone, they just want to make an announcement.It's no longer anything more than a presentation. Let's just let it slide with a feeling of 'You're trying hard, aren't you?'
😊
Resolving frustration with a familiar analogy
If you are eating soy sauce ramen at a ramen shop, and someone at the table behind you is muttering loudly,'Anything other than tonkotsu ramen isn't ramen!'
Regarding this person's statement, do you lose confidence in the soy sauce ramen you like? 😄
At most, you'd just think,'What an annoying, unpleasant person.'right? 😁
Yes! It really is just that simple.
They were just stating their likes and dislikes as if they were something more.
So the answer is,
"Huh? What is this person talking about? ☺️"
That is perfectly fine.
There is no such thing as a correct answer.
So, isn't it enough to just have an answer that you found yourself?
Therefore, there is no need to let your heart be disturbed by someone else's claims of likes and dislikes.
And if there is no correct answer,
"The answer you have come up with is your own truth, and that is fine."
The content of this article is also my own subjective view.
It is my answer, not the correct one.
If anyone felt denied by this article, please think of me as a big elementary school student.😁
You will surely feel more at ease.🤭
My thought process while writing this article
It's not that difficult.
First, I will write about how negation itself logically does not hold up.
I will write about the thinking of a naysayer.
A naysayer maintains their own sense of self by negating others.
There is no single correct answer for subjectivity or philosophy.
An answer and a correct answer are different things.
A correct answer can be wrong, but what exists in subjectivity or philosophy is an individual's answer, which is a reflection of their life experience.
Since it is an answer and not a correct answer, there is no such thing as being wrong.
Using philosophy as a tool for negation is nothing more than an abuse of philosophy.
There is no error in an answer. Because it is just a personal impression.
Even if something important to you is negated by that subjectivity, it holds no basis whatsoever.
Because that is an act equivalent to negating tonkotsu ramen just because you like soy sauce ramen.
Why must they negate it?
Isn't it just that they lack confidence in their own answer, so they want to turn their answer into a 'correct answer' and create a 'wrong' one?
It is merely an illusion that makes their logic feel correct because they present it as a view of life or philosophy.
As a result, it feels as if your very personality has been negated, but that is nothing more than a manifestation of the other person's lack of confidence.
In the end, it's just a matter of someone making their likes and dislikes sound complicated.
So, there is no need to let such a trivial matter hurt your heart.
If there is no correct answer, then the answer is everything.That makes me so mad!I shouldn't write that.
Adjust the tone.
Oh! But you know, answers that are meant to hurt others or yourself are not okay.