Short Story: 'To Begin'

It was past 9:00 PM, and the festival had completely ended.
The lover I was supposed to meet never showed up.

I sighed, left the venue, and hailed a taxi displaying an 'Empty' sign. The taxi stopped, and as I was about to get in, my body froze for a moment.

The driver was a woman; she wore white gloves, but instead of a uniform, she was wearing a yukata.
“Welcome.”
Her voice was bright and crisp.
“That’s unusual. A driver in a yukata.”
“I’m just wearing it over my clothes. I’ve got trousers on underneath, too. But it’s a festival, so it’s special. Besides, today I only pick up passengers I like.”
“...Do you like me?”
“Yeah.”
She replied without hesitation.
Usually, I wasn't good at having such casual conversations with strangers, but today, I felt like talking to her, with her spirited nature.

“Um, if you don’t mind, could you take me for a bit of a drive? Of course, I’ll pay the fare for it.”
Upon hearing this, her expression immediately turned suspicious; she frowned and looked at me through the rearview mirror. A bit intimidated by her gaze, I came to my senses and tried to retract my strange request, but she was the one who spoke first.
“So, there’s something you didn’t want to go home to right away, huh?”
Her words unexpectedly struck the core of my heart.
“...Yes.”
“Fine. Where do you want to go?”
“I’m sorry it’s so close, but I want to see the ocean.”
“How about a route that goes around the coast and stops at the fishing port?”
I replied, “Please,” and she drove the car smoothly.

Since this small town faces the sea, you would normally reach the ocean no matter where you walked. By taxi, it would only be a one-segment fare. I was truly grateful to her for accepting my request so readily, despite me being such an undesirable passenger who had even proposed a selfish drive. I shifted my gaze to the deepening night scenery and surrendered myself to the ride. The night breeze entering through the window circulated refreshingly inside the car, and soon the scent of the tide drifted in.

When we arrived at the fishing port, she stopped the taxi and turned off the engine. Several fishing boats were anchored in the dark sea. I got out of the taxi, bought a warm drink from a nearby vending machine, and looked out at the sea, which appeared like ink.
“...I made a bet today.”
“A bet?”
“Yes. I was supposed to meet my long-time lover at the festival venue. I had proposed to her recently. I was there to hear her answer. If she came, it meant acceptance; if she didn't, it meant rejection. It was something we both decided. I’m leaving for a job abroad tomorrow. So, if she had come, I intended to take her with me. But she didn't come.”
I told her everything.
“That’s painful.”
She murmured quietly.
“For me, today is the anniversary of my husband’s death.”
I looked at her involuntarily.
“On this day last year, he died in an accident. He had said, ‘Let’s go see the festival after work.’ I waited for him at the venue. But I got a call on my mobile phone from his mother, and that’s how I knew he would never come to this place again.”

She spoke calmly while looking toward the sea. She was so calm that offering comfort felt trite, and I couldn't find the words.
“I’m sorry. I ended up talking about myself. I’m not comparing myself to you, passenger. The pain of losing a loved one is the same for everyone. Whether they are on the other shore or this one. Maybe we were on the same wavelength because you are feeling that way right now.”
Saying that, she looked at my face.
Her expression changed slightly, and just as I was about to ask what was wrong, she took off her white glove and suddenly touched my cheek. As I was surprised, I realized her hand sliding across my cheek was getting wet. I had been crying without realizing it. She smiled and handed me a pocket tissue. We stood there for a while, listening to the sound of the waves with the scenery blurred.


“What will you do after this?”
Back in the car, I threw out a vague question.
“I’ll go home, take a bath, and sleep. How about you, passenger?”
“I’ll rest, too.”
The taxi returned the way we came, and after we finished talking, we exchanged a few trivial conversations before naturally falling into silence.

When I had her stop at the designated place, she hadn't turned on the fare meter and refused to accept payment from me. When I hurriedly said that I couldn't possibly accept that, she laughed coolly, saying, “It would reveal that I ‘cheated,’” and waved at me. I bowed deeply to the departing taxi.

Starting tomorrow, a life in a foreign country I’m not used to begins.
There is still a gaping hole in the part of my heart where my lover used to be, and my chest still aches. But the sight of the town as the night eventually breaks reminded me of her, and I felt I could live on without regretting my life.

< End >

※ 1894 characters

'To Begin' / Kayuri Kosaka
First published 2004/08/14
Revised 2025/02/16