Life is Unset

10/20 Monday
In the morning, I went to the city hall to take care of some errands. On the way back, I stopped by the supermarket, and after returning home, I started the washing machine. Once it was running, I suddenly felt the urge to wash everything—the bathtub, the drains, and so on—so I put on rubber gloves and started cleaning in earnest. Just as I was basking in my own self-satisfaction, the doorbell rang. It was someone from the NPO. Oh no. I forgot (sorry). But, coincidence or not, I'm glad the room wasn't dirty. I think the person who came today will be the one checking things when I move out, so I hope I made a good impression. Heh heh heh (I'm being humble, I really am).

In the afternoon, I went to the real estate agency to sign the contract for my new home. It was a marathon of signing and stamping. While listening to the explanation of the contract, I felt strangely dejected, as if I were being lectured, even though I don't fall under any of the categories like "people we ask to move out." Why do I feel this way when I'm a customer signing a contract? (lol) Since I've decided to move in on November 1st and signed the contract, I thought I might be able to get the keys a little early, but it seems they won't hand them over until the day of. That means it will cross over into the next day, and the move will be quite down to the wire, but I feel like I'll manage somehow. If I were to be thrown out onto the street for a day, I'd just go to a manga cafe. Compared to living in my stepfather's house, where I felt like I wasn't even alive until recently, this is nothing. Furthermore, thanks to this temporary housing acting as a cushion, I've learned how much sound and voices from neighbors carry, and I've even come to accept that as just how it is with rentals. My stepfather's footsteps in the detached house were many times louder, and when I think about how he would intentionally slam doors shut when he was in a bad mood, there's absolutely no comparison. I hope the neighbors at my new place are quiet and trouble-free, even if we don't exchange greetings. I'll do my best, too. I'm going to make it a precious home where I can say "I'm home!" from the bottom of my heart.

10/21
Waking up with the fatigue of yesterday still lingering, I couldn't get up even though the alarm went off many times. My face was also incredibly swollen. I went to the NPO office with that face today. There were no snow bugs this morning.
When I mentioned that I'd be getting the keys to my new place on the day I move in, they were surprised, as expected. It seems there's a huge difference depending on the real estate agency. They told me that since the rent can be prorated, it's fine if it crosses over into the next day. When I said, "I thought I might end up wandering the streets," they laughed and said, "That wouldn't happen!" That's true. After all, this was the place I consulted when I first had problems and wanted to leave my house. And the person from the NPO said this:
"I understand that the real estate industry is getting tougher because of various things, but it's because of that lack of flexibility that people like you, Ms. XX, end up in trouble!"
She was angry on my behalf. Thank you so much...

After finishing the talk about the move, I bought a pack containing komatsuna, mitsuba, and Swiss chard that they were selling cheaply in the office on my way out. It was only 100 yen! How grateful I am!
At night, before taking a bath, I noticed mold on the rubber seal at the bottom of the door and sprayed it with Rinrei's Ultra Hard (which I brought from my parents' house the other day). However, since I wanted to take a bath myself, I didn't leave it on long enough, so some parts came off and some didn't. Damn it. Or rather, I should have done it during the day. If my bath time gets even a little late, I start worrying that the sound of the hair dryer will be too loud and bother others. Hmm. The real thrill of renting! (Not really). Tomorrow, I'll contact the utility companies. I've already submitted the change of address for my mail, so I've checked one item off my "Moving To-Do List." Let's stay calm and finish things one by one as I move forward.

10/22
I forgot to write on this day, so I'm recalling my memory to write it now. Since I signed the lease the other day, I had to make several calls regarding utility procedures, and some places asked me to "call back later." I'm deathly afraid of phone calls, so I was on edge. Moreover, for some reason, the heater threw an error on a day like this. I was waiting for a call, but I contacted the temporary housing management. They also said they would call back, but I never heard from them.
By evening, it started getting cold, so I put on my outdoor hoodie and paced around the room. I finished the calls regarding utilities, which was a relief. Then, I got an email from the temporary housing management saying they still couldn't reach the contractor. I waited and waited. After all that waiting, I didn't hear back at all that day. My energy and strength to cook dinner were gone, so I devoured white rice with a can of mackerel simmered in miso and went to bed early.

10/23
In the morning, while wrapped in my futon, I contacted them to ask about the heating situation. The phone rang immediately, and they said they couldn't reach the contractor last night, but I wish they had told me that. Just waiting is pretty tough. It was 0 degrees, after all. From there, the contractor came, and I just watched them install the heater until almost evening. It seems it was a very old heater and there were no replacement parts, so they installed a new one. While I was test-running it, it shut off. I went to check the thing installed outside (I don't know the name) to see "why," and it turned out the kerosene was completely empty. ...Could it be that it wasn't actually broken, but just out of kerosene? No, well, it was definitely old. And it would be scary if it was burning incompletely, so yeah. It had to be replaced eventually. I'm glad it wasn't the middle of winter yet. Ah, nice and cozy.
However, being someone who gets overheated easily, I ended up struggling with the heater from here on out. To be continued—no, that's not it; I read the instruction manual, set the temperature so it wouldn't get too hot, and managed to avoid any trouble. Because of that, I was starving at night, so I threw whatever meat and vegetables I saw in the fridge into a frying pan, seasoned them with sake, oyster sauce, and soy sauce, defrosted a large ball of frozen rice, and gobbled it all up. Once the room was warm and I finished my bath, I breathed a sigh of relief and went to sleep.

10/24
Well, today I'm going to my stepfather's house to pack within a limited amount of time. It definitely won't be finished in one go, so I think I'll be visiting a few more times, but today my stepfather is at a sports-themed day service and is away, so my mind is stable, I guess? When I get to the house, I'll look at my mother's memorial photo to calm down. I'll take you with me when I'm truly settled, Mom.

Back home. There were more books than I thought, and it wasn't even comparable to the clothes. I actually wore one of the outer layers today (lol). I'm sure some of those will be recycled or disposed of. Of course, the same goes for the books. There were old comics in the back of the cupboard that even surprised me, and I think I'll sell those once I'm settled. They're old, but there are definitely people who want to read them. However, the task of carrying over 10 boxes of books, even if they were small, from the second floor to the first floor almost broke my back. My sister was moving along smoothly, and she was even taking the initiative to pack things well, so I was impressed even while I was short of breath. As mentioned earlier, my stepfather was away today, so things went relatively smoothly, but next time, my sister's day off won't be on a day service day, so naturally, my stepfather will be home. But it can't be helped. It's precious, limited time. I'm already taking away my sister's day off.
However, the move-in date and utilities are all set, and although it was down to the wire, I was able to arrange the moving company. Really, it's just a little bit more now.

10/25
I slept in due to the fatigue from the previous day, but there was something I really wanted to eat, so I went shopping. 3:00 PM. There was still sunlight. The snow bugs had decreased, and the weather was pleasant. However, a man who looked like a foreigner walked out from the corner at the bottom of the heart-stopping hill, and although there was some distance, he was behind me. At first, I didn't think anything of it, but as I've said before, my walking pace is extremely slow. A normal man would have passed me. Yet, he exchanged a word or two with someone on his smartphone and didn't try to catch up to me at all. I naturally started walking faster and turned the corner. When I finally looked back, he was still at that subtle distance. He was wearing sunglasses, so I couldn't see his face. "Whoa," I thought, feeling scared, and immediately went to a nearby convenience store. I bought what I really wanted to eat and spent plenty of time inside the store.

About 30 minutes later, I had to go home, so I walked to where the man had been earlier and peeked down the street. I found the man a couple of alleys away. But this time, he was behind someone else. The person walking in front of the man was an elderly man who was also walking slowly. The elderly man also seemed suspicious and looked back at the man. Then the man stopped dead in his tracks. Huh? He repeated that twice, so it was like a real-life game of "Red Light, Green Light." The elderly man turned in the direction I was heading, and the man, perhaps realizing he was being suspected, gave up and walked straight ahead, disappearing somewhere. After watching him go, I finally started walking at a normal speed toward my temporary apartment. Then, in front of the heart-stopping hill, I saw the elderly man from earlier walking with a cane, and he seemed to have just reached his home and went inside. He must have just been out for a normal walk. I felt really grateful because I think the elderly man looking back and keeping the man in check was the reason everything ended without incident, and I'm glad nothing happened. I had my keys in my pocket like brass knuckles, but a woman who isn't used to fighting probably wouldn't be able to use them anyway.

At night, Disney's "Tangled (2010)" was on TV, so I watched it. My sister highly recommended it, and I replied lightly, "Yeah, I'll watch it," but it was incredibly interesting! Rapunzel is just so cute. Expressive, curious, and strong-willed. She's quite a girl, using a cast-iron frying pan—not Teflon—to fight back against suspicious people (though he wasn't a suspicious person in the story). The ending theme was also pop and a good song that fit the modern Rapunzel story. It's got a great groove!

It's great that the poster, Rapunzel, Eugene (Flynn Rider) who she meets by fate, and even Maximus the horse all have mischievous faces, right? lol

Grace Potter - Something That I Want (Lyrics)

10/26
Well, there are less than 5 days left until I move to my new home. Unlike my parents' house, I don't have that many things in my temporary housing, so I have a bit more peace of mind. For now, I'll make a list of things to do and check them off one by one. And I thought I'd plan to use up ingredients that can't be kept in the fridge over the next 5 days and clean the inside of the fridge on the day I hand over this room, but today the top shelf became empty, so I washed the glass tray. I'm happy it's sparkling clean. I've been cleaning the toilet and bathroom as I go, so I don't think it will be a "big cleaning." I just need to wash the drain at the end.

The problem is my parents' house. I went to pack with my sister the other day, but we didn't finish that day. The reason is the books. The number of books is terrible. Not amazing, but terrible (lol). I had to face my own laziness, wondering how long I'd been keeping weekly magazines. They say a room reflects the person themselves, and my parents' house was truly chaotic, which showed just how unstable my mental state was. It's a very painful task, but putting those feelings aside, I'll first put all the books and clothes into cardboard boxes. The winter clothes are in two drawers of a baby dresser (which has been in use for over 45 years; it might fall apart if I'm not careful), and there are a few coats hanging on what is called a closet but is really just a coat rack.
Also, a mountain of cassette tapes and CDs I recorded during my student days. I think I'll recycle everything except for Osawa-san and Godiego. I think such trash will come out while I'm packing the boxes, so I'll bring a huge bag for non-burnable trash. Well, even if a lot of trash comes out, I'll keep it in my room, so I won't bother my stepfather, and the detached house won't be turned into an empty lot right away, so I won't panic unnecessarily. I'm sure my stepfather will have something like a fit if he's there, so I won't forget the medicine I was prescribed the other day. Yeah. Soon, my life alone in my real new home will begin. From scratch. I want to build a new life.

It's finally time. I hope I can write "New home, bravo!" in next week's essay.
You can find my past weekly reflection diary essays from the magazine below! Please check it out!

Top image is from Pixabay