Increased Expenses Due to Childcare | Why I Felt It Was Worth Paying Even So [Musings of a Level 1 Financial Planner Working Mom / Family & Working Mom Struggles Edition]

I recently posted an article about caregiving, and it received a much greater response than I had imagined.
It made me realize once again that many people are interested in the topic of 'caregiving'.

I have personally experienced two types of caregiving so far.
One was caregiving for my mother-in-law due to illness, and the other was caregiving for my child.

In this post, I would like to talk about 'childcare' among those experiences.

When my eldest son was attending nursery school, a physical therapist pointed out during a routine check that his 'leg movements were a bit unnatural'.
He had a habit of walking on his tiptoes, and at first, I thought it was just a quirk, but after a detailed examination, it was found that there was an issue with the elasticity of his calf muscles.

We tried rehabilitation, but there was no significant improvement, so we ultimately decided on surgery.

I struggled a lot with this decision.
It was a decision made after much deliberation—wondering if I would have even noticed it without the observation, and whether the surgery was truly necessary.

At the time, my eldest son was still young, and my second son was only six months old.
I was still breastfeeding, so we had to think about how the whole family could get through this together.

The surgery required a hospital stay of several days, and
we chose for my husband and our second son to stay at a business hotel near the hospital.
Since the second son couldn't enter the hospital room, my husband would come to see our eldest son, and we would swap the baby in the carrier at the entrance.

Naturally, that incurred additional accommodation costs.
However, rather than spending time apart and feeling anxious, we prioritized an environment where we could support each other as closely as possible.

In the end, I feel this was a very good decision.
It helped alleviate the anxiety of each family member, even if just a little, and led to reducing our mental burden.

After the surgery, he had to live with his legs immobilized for a while, and
• He couldn't take a bath by himself
• He had to use a wheelchair to move around
• He couldn't go to nursery school
These days continued for some time.

For a child, suddenly being unable to do things they previously took for granted is a huge source of stress.
And for the family supporting them, it also places a burden beyond what one might imagine.

I thought I was being careful myself, but
the frustration and anxiety stemming from a lack of breathing room might have been conveyed to him without me realizing it.

That is why I felt it was important to 'not seek perfection'.

It is only natural that we couldn't live our lives as usual.
So, I changed my mindset to:

• Not blaming him for what he couldn't do
• Increasing fun within the range of what was possible
• Not pushing myself with housework and cutting corners
• Relying on external services for meals

I consciously incorporated these kinds of adjustments.

Honestly, expenses do increase.
Including accommodation costs like this time, unexpected expenditures inevitably arise.

But I feel that those costs are not 'luxuries',
but necessary expenses to protect the hearts and lives of the entire family.

As a result, our family's caregiving period was relatively short,
and now I am able to see him running around energetically.

However, what I felt strongly through this experience is that
caregiving is not something that belongs to 'someone special'.

Even for a child, it is not rare for them to suddenly
become in need of support due to an accident, injury, or illness.

That is why what is important is
creating an environment where not only the person receiving care but also the person providing support does not push themselves too hard.

Instead of trying to do everything perfectly,
rely on what you can, and try to keep a little bit of space in your heart.

I feel that accumulating these small things will, in the end, lead to better support.

I would be happy if this could be a trigger to make the feelings of those
who are currently facing caregiving in the same way feel even just a little bit lighter.

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