What I Saw When I Stopped

This is a place
to relax your mind just a little bit.
I hope this can be a place like a
"short break"
to help you move forward gently, little by little.

Last week,
I took a day off from work.

Starting around Tuesday,
my body felt somehow off.

I had a persistent headache,
and I couldn't regulate my body temperature well.

On Wednesday, I went to work wearing glasses
and left earlier than usual.

On the way home,
instead of walking to the station as I usually do,
I took the streetcar to conserve my energy.

Even so, when I got home,
I didn't have the energy to make dinner,
and I just fell asleep.

And the next morning.

The headache hadn't subsided,
and my body still felt heavy.

I decided to take the day off.

I think it was probably mild dehydration and heat exhaustion.

Looking back now,
my body had been giving me signs all along.

Unfamiliar work.
Daily commuting.
The heat.
An environment where I couldn't drink water as much as I wanted.
The feeling of impatience
because there were so many things I "couldn't do."

My mind was trying to push forward,
but perhaps my body had been saying
"Let's rest now"
for a while.

On Thursday,
I drank water little by little,
slept in the natural breeze,
and then slept again in an air-conditioned room, covered in a down comforter.

When I woke up,
I had a strangely pleasant sensation,
as if all the joints in my body were "popping" into place.

"Ah, I'm back."
That's how it felt.

And then Friday.
I went to work with OS-1 and barley tea.

After finishing the day safely,
I headed to a place I had been looking forward to for a long time.

This is a concert by my favorite classical guitarist,
Kou Igarashi.

This time,
it was a trio featuring guitar, violin, and cello.

Concerts that used to have noticeable empty seats even in small halls
were sold out in a medium-sized hall this time.

Feeling a bit like a relative's aunt (lol),
I thought, "You've grown so much."
That sense of joy welled up inside me.

And what they played was
movie music.

The piece that first introduced me to Igarashi-san,
"Cinema Paradiso."
From the very first note,
I couldn't stop the tears.

It wasn't just that it reminded me of the movie.
I felt as though the music
gently unraveled the tension
I had been holding onto for the past few weeks.

Furthermore,
actually, I have only seen "Titanic" once.

Before the movie,
the music reached my heart.

Just through the sound,
the scenes of the movie vividly came back to life,
and I cried again.

Music really does have the power
to bring back the version of yourself from that time.

I realized something while I was unwell this time.

I used to think that
"resting equals stopping."

But I was wrong.

Because I rested,
my body recovered,
and space was created to receive the music.

If I had kept pushing myself,
that day's performance
might not have reached my heart in the same way.

What I saw when I stopped.

The preciousness of my body.
The power of music.
And,
that resting is not just about stopping, but a step toward moving forward.

I learned these things
over the past few days.

I also talk a little bit about this story on stand.fm.
What I delivered through my voice and what I left behind in words.
I would be happy if you could receive them in whichever way you prefer.

Thank you for your hard work today.
No matter what kind of day it was, it was surely a "good day."
And if you ever feel like taking a little break again,
I would be happy if you came back here.