A girl who thought 'I'm sorry for being born' has finally started walking her own path at 40.

Note: When writing, I feel more comfortable using 'Boku' (a masculine 'I') than 'Watashi' (a neutral/feminine 'I'), so I use 'Boku' as my way of expressing myself ^^

Good morning
Hello
Good evening

I am Takahashi (Kotodamaya) ^^

I was raised by parents who were not normal,
and they demanded that I be normal or capable,
which caused me a lot of suffering.

However, I was probably never seen as pitiful,
but rather envied and bullied.

The reason for this was that I went on overseas trips
almost every year.

(My family would go on overseas trips, so
I had to tell my teachers,
'I'll be absent from this date to this date.')

Also, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't do things that everyone else could,
I couldn't take an interest in what everyone else was interested in,

I disliked trends, I disliked hanging out in groups,

and I found it easier to talk to boys,
so even when I was just being myself, I was 'different'.

I believe the cause was that I was 'something unknown and different from themselves'.
And surprisingly, the 'bullying' wasn't just from students;

teachers also participated, so it was quite tough.

Because, even though I went to the staff room
because the bullying was painful,

what I was told there was,
'Takahashi is strong, and everyone else is weak, so they have to form a group to stand a chance against you.' That was the mysterious thing they said.

The feeling I had when I heard that was...
But since I am the 'strong' Takahashi,

I forced a smile and said, 'I see. I am strong, aren't I...'
'I understand. It's fine now.'
I remember leaving after saying that.

Therefore, for me, my student days
were not fun at all,

and it was painful even after becoming an adult.
That is because I have a handicap.

Because of that, I think I have experienced things that others haven't.
(There was almost no one who could understand my struggle.)

For example, sound. If I am sensitive to sound, to begin with,
not only loud voices or shouting,

but when sounds like CDs or TV mix with human voices,
it is painful to be in that space,

(and no one was even watching or listening to that TV or CD),
so when I went to consult about it,
I was told things like, 'Everyone else is fine with it.'
'You'll get used to it, just get used to it.' And when I entered through open employment (disclosing my disability and entering through the disability quota is called open employment.

Entering without disclosing it is called closed employment),
because it is invisible,

I was overwhelmed by the content expected of a 'normal XX-year-old'.
(I was sometimes able to tell dark jokes, so it couldn't be helped.)

Yes. Just going to the company
is 'a whole day's work'.

However, this tendency to get tired easily,
this lack of physical strength, no matter how much I reviewed my lifestyle,
was like a drop in the bucket.

Even so, as long as I was being paid,
I couldn't do the 'I have to try my best' part.

No, the more I tried, the less I could do,
so it was so painful, so painful,

that the paid leave I received in the first year
was gone in an instant.

Because at that time, really,
whether I went or didn't go,
it was painful and very difficult.

However, since I didn't have the courage to die,
although it was out of inertia, I 'chose to live'.

And, was it about 2 or 3 years ago now?
'Not belonging to an organization, making what I love my job'
was the choice I made.

Some people might think of this as an extremely luxurious,
or a gambling-like way of life,

and in a sense, that is correct.

So, if you are suited to working while belonging to an organization,
you don't have to force yourself to become a freelancer,

Whether it's my innate nature (disposition?), my personality,
or perhaps because of pervasive developmental disorder
and Asperger's tendencies,
or maybe because of epilepsy,

I'm not sure if it's all of the above,
but in any case, working in an organization
seemed to be a heavy burden for me,

Believing in the words that I have talent,
I started working as a poet,
then graduated from being a poet and moved into the path of a writer.

As a result, my catchphrases have been particularly well-received.
The fact that all the proposals I submit are usable, can be rearranged freely,

and can be used anywhere is also
a point that people appreciate,

I am mainly relied upon by people in professions
that are difficult to grasp,

such as work related to healing
or work that deals with the heart.

If you are interested, please feel free to contact me.
However, please understand that I cannot provide 24-hour immediate responses.

Thank you for reading until the end ^^

For inquiries and requests, please contact me here
↓↓↓
Please use Twitter DM or Facebook Messenger.

<Reference>
Projects I have been involved in so far, and Takahashi's media and profile
https://note.mu/plofilepoemer/n/nef030e24befd

Only the catchphrase menu is
listed here, but please feel free to inquire about rewriting
(shall we call it tidying up? Adding to it, or

omitting parts that aren't necessary,
that kind of thing) and other writing tasks like article creation.

https://note.mu/plofilepoemer/n/n56731b6d15d3