[#Post-Broadcast Notes] #186: Titles / Dona-Dona My Car / Discussing Rebellion

The B.League season has kicked off. I was watching the games (via stream) and time just flew by, so I missed writing my note. This is Narumi.

So, this is the 186th episode.
Titles? Did we even talk about that? lol

Anyway, I am deeply reflecting on my double-booking.

Yeah. I really messed up.
I never imagined that the B1 League opening game on Saturday would overlap with the date of a streaming event I had planned. I realized it at the last minute and managed to follow up on it.
So, yesterday, October 4th, I appeared in a streaming event for work. It was fun.
I rescheduled the basketball game for this weekend. Looking forward to that too.

A story from my youth that reminds me of double-booking

This has absolutely nothing to do with streaming, but come to think of it...
It was the summer of my second year of high school, when I was 17. I was so obsessed with my first girlfriend at the time that I ditched my part-time job at Circle K to go on a date with her in Tokyo.

According to her, the Tokyo trip had been planned and the Shinkansen tickets were already purchased. But on the day of, she said her childhood friend, who was supposed to go with her, couldn't make it.
(Wait, was it the Shinkansen? Anyway, it was a train.)
Seeing her look so pitiful, and being asked to make a decision as a man, I decided to go on the trip with her.
By the way, there were other classmates at the meeting spot. I just realized now that it wasn't a date after all.
So, while we were wandering around Harajuku, my phone started ringing like crazy. When I answered, it was my workplace.
I remember saying, 'I'm on the shift today, aren't I?' and then, 'Oh, uh, sorry, I can't make it. (Click).'

In other words, that's just the kind of person I am. lol
Even if I think I'm getting senile as I get older, it's not aging—it's just who I am. That's exactly why I need to be careful, at least when it comes to work.

Messing up is a sign of a busy season

When I suddenly get busy, I gradually lose sight of my surroundings,
because I try so hard to finish the tasks that seem doable, I only see what's right in front of me.
As a result, a 'Rube Goldberg machine' of bad outcomes gets triggered and suddenly appears. That's how mistakes during busy seasons happen suddenly, and I've experienced it plenty of times before.
And mistakes like this tend to take a toll on my mental state.

Recently, I've been lifting my spirits by running silently at the gym,
but of course, I also rely on the power of alcohol, and sometimes I soak in the bathtub in a dark bathroom. When things are really bad, I rely on the power of the bath.

So, I was quite damaged by this double-booking, but talking about it on the podcast helped me regain some composure. lol
Being able to look at myself from a bird's-eye view—feeling like there's another person inside me who says, 'This is getting dangerous...' or 'This is the kind of behavior that leads to a screw-up'—might be what it means to have become an adult.

Between bird's-eye view and rebellion

So, this episode was an answer to a Marshmallow message I received.
Please listen to the episode for Ishibashi-san and my stories about rebellion and the rebellious phase.
I think rebellion and the rebellious phase are symbols of when you aren't able to see things from a bird's-eye view at all. Like considering the other person, or what your parents are thinking right now.
Well, that makes sense. You have no experience, and because you have few drawers in your own cabinet, you just bang on the top board. Saying, 'There's nothing inside!'

And to add a personal note...

Bird's-eye view when you seem to be at a dead end

The image is, when you're lost in a maze or labyrinth, imagining a 3D view from above. A more advanced person might even be able to become the creator of that maze.
Like a guardian spirit, or an out-of-body experience—I feel like if you can visualize meetings or interviews in 3D and look over the entire room from a corner above, you can imagine, 'Why did I have to do/say such an unpleasant thing?'

To put it in simple terms, is it like 'a pinch is a chance'? A 'pin-chan'?
So, when you're feeling uneasy or have indigestion, why not try thinking about:
・Why am I feeling this way?
・Who is influencing this feeling?
・Who would benefit positively from this action (e.g., rebellion)?
　→What about the opposite?
・Is this something I can enjoy?
Even if nothing is solved, I think you'll be able to put it into words and feel a little clearer.

Why Hope-ken came up

Sorry for the sudden mention of Hope-ken. lol
I read 'Looking back on life...' and thought, 'I have those moments too.'
I empathized with it.

And when I look back and think about how powerless I am, or when I think that today (in my recent life) was fun, it usually happens unexpectedly when I'm walking aimlessly, like during my commute or on my way home.
In that moment, it's silent. Even if I have earphones in, it happens regardless.

By the way, when I rebelled or started a bit of trouble in my workplace relationships, there were times when I would think, 'What am I doing?' and shed a tear out of a sense of helplessness. Honestly, if I had been able to just move forward without complaining, my life might have been different.

While I was talking and recalling such scenes, the 'walk to Hope-ken' suddenly popped into my mind. The walking route from Yoyogi Station to Hope-ken. Walking straight from the hustle and bustle in front of the station, going up the gentle slope, passing around the National Stadium, and arriving at Hope-ken.
Buying a meal ticket, eating the ramen in silence, and heading to the next destination.

It's very casual, but even now, several years later, it remains in my mind, idealized. That atmosphere was so good.

That's why 'Go to Hope-ken'
came out. Please find your own Hope-ken.

So, next time, with the arrival of autumn, we will discuss the theme of 'air'.
Stay tuned!

#DoubleBooking #BasketballSeasonOpening #SpeakingTips #MyCarDonadona #CompetitiveBidding #ListenerMailAnswer #Rebellion #SilentPressure #BirdseyeView #LookingBackAtMorningRamen

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Photo by Fajar Al Hadi / #Unsplash