For a housewife, the ultimate reward is 'time to do nothing'

Since yesterday, my eldest son has been away on a four-day, three-night training camp for his club.

He said he'll be practicing with several other high schools in this heat, which sounds tough, but there seem to be some fun events planned too, so he left happily.

And tomorrow, my second son will be staying away for his first short-term stay.

I don't have to wait for the kids to come home.

I don't have to worry about preparing meals.

It was a little reward day like that.

Even the things I do as a matter of course every day,

Thinking, 'I need to get that done,'

Or, 'I should do this next,'

My mind is always thinking about someone else.

That's why just thinking that I don't have to think about anything makes me feel like I've gained a little freedom, and my heart dances.

Even if I think each thing is small,

'I'm not really in the mood to eat this today...'

'Is there anything else?'

When I'm told things like that, contrary to my desire to answer them,

'You're always so selfish!! Enough!'

Sometimes, feelings of anger well up inside me.

That is exactly why this is a time of liberation from such small things.

I was secretly looking forward to it.

Then, for some reason, my husband...

'In that case, maybe I'll take the day off work,'

he suddenly said.

My dear husband, why would you do that?

Was it that obvious how much I was looking forward to it? (laughs)

Since I had promised to have dinner out with my husband, I should have been able to stop thinking about anything until the evening.

My husband thinks that I'm happy just because he's around.

But, of course, my feelings are (laughs) different.

If my husband is there, it always ends up starting with,

'What should we do for lunch?'

and then,

he'll surely start drinking in the afternoon,

'Don't you have any snacks?'

he'll start saying.

I'd have to open 'Izakaya Toko' earlier than planned.

My husband surely doesn't realize that such behavior is a bit of a burden for me.

He might think I'm happy to stand in the kitchen.

Of course, it's fine on a normal day.

I do have the feeling that I want to cook delicious meals for my husband, who works hard for our family.

However, tomorrow was supposed to be special.

It was supposed to be a reward day where my heart could be set free, but...

It ends up being another day where I'm thinking about this and that for someone else.

Feeling that way, I somehow felt like I was being interrupted.

Our personalities and values are truly different.

'Why would you think that way?'

I've thought that more than once or twice.

I'm not understood.

I can't get them to understand me.

There are days when I get frustrated with my husband like that.

This latest incident, too, was at first just,

'Why don't you understand?'

a frustration toward my husband.

But after some time had passed, I thought about what was beneath those feelings.

What I wanted wasn't the time without my husband itself.

I already have that, since I spend my days alone anyway.

But I wanted a liberated mind—one where I don't have to wait for anyone, think about meals, or worry about 'what do you want to eat today?'

I think I was looking forward to spending time with that feeling more than I realized.

That is why, the moment I thought that time might disappear, my heart reacted so strongly.

Lately, whenever my emotions are stirred like that,

'What is wrong?'

instead of asking that,

'What is it that I truly value?'

I have started to think in this way.

Strangely enough, the more unpleasant the event, the more it can teach me about the important wishes within me and the things I truly want to protect.

Just as there is light because there is shadow.

It is precisely because there are events that disturb my heart that I sometimes realize my true feelings.

The existence of my husband, who brings out these negative emotions in me,

might be something that reflects the light within me.

That is how I feel.

#HousewifeFeelings #TimeToDoNothing #MeTime #MentalSpace #HappinessWithFamily #TimeAwayFromFamily #MarriageIsInteresting #DailyRealizations #SmallHappiness #ReflectingOnLife