Why I started drawing stickers when I was overwhelmed by things I had to do

Thank you for finding this article among the many on note.

I am Pino, a physical therapist of 10 years, now working as a bodywork practitioner, living with my 7-year-old child and a rabbit.

In this article, I would like to talk about my own story under the theme of "#WorkLifeBalance".

Despite working in a field where I look after people's bodies, I was putting my own body last. I was so chased by "things I had to do" that my mind and body were wearing thin. And this year, by starting to draw LINE stickers, I regained the feeling of "things I want to do" for the first time in a while.

This is not a perfect story. But if you are currently feeling crushed by "things you have to do," I am writing this in the hope that I might be able to offer a little bit of comfort.

In the storm called the 'terrible twos'

First, let me talk about the time of the terrible twos. When my daughter was 2 or 3 years old, my daily life felt like being in a storm.

She couldn't express herself well with words, but she was trying to convey something. When she realized I didn't understand, she would express it with her whole body. She would cry and scream loudly. She would lie on the floor and kick her arms and legs. This "terrible twos" phase was intense for me.

In my head, I knew I "shouldn't get angry." As a physical therapist, I have even studied child development. Yet, I would still get angry. And then I would blame myself for getting angry. That loop was exhausting.

Potty training also overlapped with this period. Every time she failed, I would wash the wet clothes and underwear, and sometimes even the futon or carpet. If there was an accident in the middle of the night, I would change the sheets while rubbing my sleepy eyes. I couldn't do the laundry then, so I would leave it for the next morning and start the washing machine again from the morning. I felt like that alone used up a significant amount of my energy for the day.

I cooked separate meals for the child and the adults. Because it was a period when she was moving around actively, I cleaned every day. If she suddenly got into a bad mood, I would hold her for the time being. Even though I knew I should really listen to what she had to say, holding her was the fastest way to calm her down. So, I would end up picking her up.

Even at night, when I thought she had finally fallen asleep, I would often be woken up because we were in the middle of potty training.

It was a period where both my mental and physical strength were gradually wearing away. The energy and time to focus on my own body had disappeared somewhere.

Even though I tell others that "body care is important," I was completely putting my own body care last.

The curse of 'must-dos' accelerated by the COVID-19 pandemic

At that time, the world was also in the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic.

I am naturally the type who tends to worry by thinking about the future. I want to take every possible measure. So, I used a lot of energy to keep the house clean. I made sure to wash my hands and gargle whenever we returned from outside. I tried to make my daughter do the same thoroughly.

However, it is difficult to convey to a 2 or 3-year-old that "hand washing is important," and she would actually get into a bad mood because she saw it as a troublesome task. It is hard when a child in the terrible twos gets grumpy. Even so, I thought I "had to make her do it."

When my daughter started attending nursery school, my perspective began to change little by little.

No matter how clean I kept the house, she would bring back germs and viruses from school. And without fail, she would catch a cold. Honestly, I was disappointed, thinking about how hard I had worked.

It was then that my pediatrician casually said to me,

"Every time they catch a cold, they get a little stronger. Let them catch all the colds they want."

…Oh, I see. It’s okay to catch a cold.

The doctor was a unique person who would honestly tell me, "I'll prescribe medicine, but the effects will wear off in about three hours, so the runny nose will come back." Even when he prescribed a suppository for fever, he wouldn't force it on me, saying, "Use it if you can." He didn't view having a fever as something inherently bad; his approach conveyed that he trusted in a child's natural ability to recover.

With those words, I felt something inside me just let go.

The sense of duty that I "had to keep things clean" gradually faded away. I started to feel that it was okay to just do enough. It might look sloppy, but by being able to think "this is good enough," I was actually able to keep going in a more relaxed way.

As the tension of feeling like I had to do things eased, the tension I had been holding in my body without realizing it also melted away.

It was this year that I remembered what I "wanted to do"

It was this year that I learned that LINE stickers could generate income.

To be honest, that was my only initial motivation. It was a calculated motive, thinking it might become a side job. But once I actually started making them, I realized it had turned into something completely different.

Before I knew it, three hours had passed.

I was having an incredible amount of fun thinking about how to convey feelings through a character's expression, what kind of poses would be good, what phrases to use, and the size and design of the text.

Moreover, during that time, I wasn't thinking about anything else. Not about my work, not about housework, not about my daughter—nothing was on my mind. I was only thinking about the stickers.

Oh, I can focus this much.

The sense of accomplishment when I finished was indescribable. Even though I should have been tired, I felt great. It was a refreshing feeling, as if I had spent my time in a fulfilling way.

It was a completely different kind of accomplishment from the "I did it. It's over. I'm exhausted" feeling I had before.

Between "things I have to do" and "things I want to do"

When I worked as a physical therapist, the "things I had to do" were clear. Give my all to a patient's rehabilitation. Update my knowledge. Get certifications. That was my job, and it was also my passion.

But once I started raising children, the types of "things I had to do" increased all at once. Childcare, housework, infection prevention... Each one came with the feeling that I "had to do it properly."

Before I knew it, everything had become a "thing I had to do." I had no space left to think about what I wanted to do or what kind of time I enjoyed.

It has been 4 or 5 years since those terrible twos. My daughter is now 7, and although the nature of the difficulties in raising her has changed, the feeling of having a mountain of "things to do" still persists. My work as a chiropractor, housework, childcare, and posting on note. The feeling of "I must do this properly" has always been there, just changing its form.

Perhaps I had completely forgotten about the things I "wanted to do." It was the sticker production I started this year that made me realize that.

I learned firsthand the importance of having time in my daily life to "do something because I want to." It has nothing to do with productivity or efficiency; it is just time spent simply because "I like this."

When you loosen up a little, your perspective changes

Even now, I sometimes feel anxious thinking about the future. I want to take whatever measures I can. That probably won't change.

But that time during the terrible twos and the COVID-19 pandemic, and the time I started making stickers this year, taught me one thing.

When you loosen up on the "things you have to do," your perspective changes.

When you can forgive yourself by saying "this is good enough," your heart feels lighter. And then, space is created. When you have space, you can see what you want to do. You become able to spend time on that.

You don't have to do everything perfectly. If you can have a little sense that things will work out, you will strangely find a balance.

I think that is what "work-life balance" means to me. It's not about splitting things you have to do and things you want to do exactly in half, but about gradually increasing the moments where you can say "this is good enough."

I am still continuing to make stickers. Before I knew it, I had made 23 sets. At first, the goal was profit, but now I continue because it is purely fun. That is the most honest "thing I want to do" for me.

In conclusion

Mothers raising children have many "things to do" every day. I was like that too. I still am.

But just as those words from the pediatrician made me feel a little more at ease, sometimes a small word or realization from someone can help you relax your shoulders.

I would be happy if this article could be one of those things for you.

"Things will work out" is not giving up. I think it is a choice to loosen up a little and create space to look at the things you want to do.

What is the "thing you want to do" for you?

Thank you for reading until the end. It would be very encouraging if you could give me a like or follow. Please feel free to leave a comment as well.

I also make LINE stickers. Please take a look if you'd like.

[Qualifications/Background] Physical Therapist (10 years of clinical experience) / 3-Society Certified Respiratory Therapist / Bobath Advanced Course Completion / Chiropractor

#WorkLifeBalance