Hello, I'm a woman who can't keep things up.

At the end of last year,
I decided to start a note.
I was burned out on everything and had lost my confidence,
so it was for rehabilitation because I had become afraid of self-expression.
I just decided to try writing something, anything, every day for 100 days,
and that's how I started.

Until now, whether it was a blog or Instagram,
I would try a little bit and then suddenly stop updating.
I have posted on Facebook even if there were gaps,
but whenever I saw people posting on social media without fail every day,
I would think, 'Ah... I can't do that...'
and just watch them, thinking they were amazing and wondering how they do it.

I think part of it was that I didn't place much importance
on continuing things
or doing something consecutively every day.

I had the mindset of...
what is the point of forcing yourself to continue something?

However,
I suddenly felt like I wanted to try continuing for 100 days straight,
so I'm taking on the challenge.
I'm currently on day 27!

I'm doing this 100-day challenge
to acquire a 'habit'.

Until my child was born,
I lived as I pleased every day.
My daily schedule was a mess.
If you asked if I was fulfilled, it felt more like I was just being lazy.
I didn't like that kind of life.

But thanks to my child,
now I sleep, wake up, and eat regularly every day,
and I do my work and housework.
I'm busy every day,
but I feel incredibly fulfilled.

Ah, I'm able to live a normal life too...!
I'm moved by that every day.
In that flow,
I thought I would try the 100-day consecutive note challenge.

Regarding the 'certain assumption'
written in the header image,
it relates to a session I'm taking every month.

It's mainly a session where you consciously continue breathing for a long time,
but it's tough if you're not used to it.
So,
I was taught a trick to aim for 'the feeling like when you're rowing a boat, your hands gradually start moving on their own'.
When I try to do it with that awareness,
it really feels like I'm not forcing it, and my breathing catches a wave
and proceeds automatically.
Actually experiencing that sensation while breathing
was a very big realization for me.
That feeling was very fresh,

and although I thought habits were difficult things,
just like that breathing method,
it's like the hands rowing a boat;
it takes effort at first,
but once you catch the wave, doesn't it proceed smoothly?
That's what I thought.

For this note too,
certainly in the beginning,
I thought, I have to write, I have to write,
but now every day,
I feel like I'm able to continue without forcing it by setting aside time around this time of day.

I used to think that I could never form a habit,
but maybe I can.

For that reason, I'm now rowing various boats
every day.
I used to pointlessly belittle myself for not being able to do things,
thinking that people who can form habits are amazing,
but I think it's just a matter of 'doing it or not doing it'.

〰︎ ✎ ⋆

˗ˏ ˋ3 good things ˎˊ˗

I'll try writing this to build a habit of saying thank you every day.
① Private nursing photo shoot in the morning. I was warmed and healed by photographing a 1-year-old girl and her beautiful mom. Grateful they came from far away.
② Went to the bank in my spare time. Even though time was tight, it went smoothly and I finished perfectly! Feels good. Grateful.
③ Final check of year-end tax adjustment documents in the morning. This also went smoothly, finished everything, and mailed it off safely. Well done. Let's do our best again this year.