You don't have to go out of your way to play the tragic heroine

I have to let go of something important.

I heard that yesterday
and was incredibly shaken.
I panicked.

The "good condition" I've built up until now
might all fall apart.
The foundation I kept talking about
might flip over and collapse.

That was the level of my impulse.

When that happens,
my thinking stops,
I cry to people around me who might be able to give advice,
saying, "It's over, I'm useless after all,"
and I do it.
The tragic heroine act.

And then I fall into the swamp.

That has been my pattern until now.
But,
what I've built up over these past few months,
what I've nurtured,
seems to have taken root deeper
and grown more firmly than I thought.

When I endured and held on for one day,
it showed me a world I hadn't known before.

"Huh? What was I 'worrying' about all this time anyway?"
I even thought something like that.

Everything I've worried and suffered about until now
might have just been me wanting to play the tragic heroine.
To hold myself back,
thinking life isn't life without waves,
I went out of my way
to incorporate that kind of drama,

and if I look at it from a bird's-eye view,
that event
is just a big step toward a brilliant future,
and there's nothing negative about it at all.
It was just that a lot of energy was moving, both physically and mentally,
that was all.

I still
wanted to play the tragic heroine.
Something like this happened,
oh, I can't move anymore.
It's over, I probably won't even be able to swallow food.
Doing things calmly and steadily is also a waste.
I can't do it anymore.
It's okay to throw everything away,
because something like this happened.

And
the Great Demon King of Clumsiness dances wildly.

Then,
the clumsiest of the clumsy
says this in Hiroyuki's tone.

"Eh? You don't have to go out of your way to play the tragic heroine, you know? Why are you doing that?"
he says.

Even if something
big
that shakes my foundation
happens,
it's no reason to stop
"doing things calmly and steadily."

So,
just do it.
Do it today too.
Do it today of all days.
Do it silently.
I get it, so just do it.
The path will open.
Just do it.

That's how
I kick myself in the butt.

Exactly as I thought,
even while sniffling yesterday,
I just tried doing it,
and today,
since I happened to have an opportunity to have someone listen to me,
I talked about how this turned out
and organized it within myself.

And,
now I've come to write this note.

No matter what happens,
you don't have to let it be a reason to stop the progress of your life.

Honestly,
I never thought I would grow up to be this
strong,
and literally,
the world is changing more and more.

Step by step,
surely,
the feeling of treading firmly.

Unfortunately,
it seems
I am okay.
I am terrifyingly strong.

Is such a life fun? the
clumsy great demon king whispers again.

Hehehe.
It is fun.

I have set up a question box where you can send questions anonymously!
About photos, about makeup, about tonight's dinner menu,
please feel free to post a word or two to this clumsy person 🤩
I will be very happy.

I will answer your questions in a post!