My current self is the result I desired

Hello, this is Kameda.

Among the various types of information being shared, those of you who read content from coaches and consultants are likely gathering information because, to some extent, you think, 'I want to change myself' or 'I want to change my life'.

However, you find it difficult to actually change.

You feel like you are trying your best, but you don't feel like you are changing.

You want to change, but your actions just cannot keep up.

And, as if to add insult to injury, haven't you experienced being hurt and discouraged by words like 'Don't be soft,' 'It's because you're not serious,' or 'It's because you lack resolve' more than once or twice?

In fact, these criticisms are at least partially true, and even when coaching, if you make excuses and create reasons not to do something, things will never move forward no matter what.

Even before receiving coaching or consulting, you probably already know yourself that your mindset is not quite there yet.

So, what should you do?

Unfortunately, there is no groundbreaking exercise or method here; in the end, you have no choice but to face yourself.

As a prerequisite, the first hurdle is whether you can be prepared for that.

Don't you think?

In an instant

Easily

In a short amount of time

and dramatically at that

I wondered if there was a way to change myself, or someone who could change me.

There isn't.

There is no such convenient method or person.

In the end, "I am doing what I am doing because I want to be the person I am now."

First, you need to fully accept this important premise, and then figure out what the benefits are and what you are protecting by being that way.

Unless you clarify that and change your premises and perceptions, nothing will ever change.

I may sound high and mighty, but I realized that I myself held some surprisingly shocking assumptions.

As is often the case, I myself was the typical kind of person who "could not change," just like I mentioned at the beginning.

I understand the logic of what is being said.

I also have in my head what I want to do.

But no matter what, it won't change. I can't change it.

If I don't think about it as my own fault,
blaming others won't change anything.

I know that already, without needing to be told at this point.

Right?

It's a combo of knowing it without being told, but being troubled because I can't change, while having my mental state worn down by marketing screening posts.

My life points must be at zero by now. I get it.

When you finally realize, not just in your head but in your heart, that blaming external factors won't change anything, and you start thinking about what you think of yourself—what is commonly called your 'self-image'—you start to realize that these kinds of thoughts are inside you.

・Since I've been no good until now, won't I be no good from now on too?
・I'll probably fail again.
・Won't I just fail anyway?

On the other hand,

・No, that's not true, this time for sure.
・The fact that I couldn't do it until now is no proof that I can't do it next time.
・I should be able to do it too.

A tug-of-war between these contrasting feelings is taking place, and I end up in a state where I'm stepping on the accelerator and the brake at the same time.

So, why am I in this state?

As I thought about various things, and considered what kind of jealousy or emotions I have toward others, I realized that I hold some truly embarrassing assumptions.

”Current” me wants to be acknowledged and praised.

It was a truly spoiled desire for approval.

No, I was repulsed by myself.

However, unfortunately, this was my true feeling.

To call it my life might be a bit of an exaggeration, but basically, it has been a series of teasing and scolding, denial and reflection.

If I did things seriously, I was laughed at, and if I failed, I was scolded.

I have been given harsh feedback under the guise of it being for my growth.

I myself have taken that for granted, and I admit that there are parts of me that have grown precisely because of it.

That is why I thought it was fine, and I believed that I 'should not have' a desire for approval.

However, in talking with my coach, I realized that I wanted to acknowledge my 'current' self, and I wanted to be comforted and praised with words.

That is why I think I have made the choice not to move from my 'current' point.

Of course, I also thought I had to grow, so I took in a lot of input and made efforts to produce results at work.

That is why it is certain that I have built things up.

Even so, the reason I cannot break through and excel is because this kind of fundamental belief was holding me back.

I suppress the emotions I truly feel and bury them in the ground.

But those emotions never die, and they have kept me stuck in the same place.

Naturally, I wouldn't be able to produce outstanding results.

Let alone change, that was out of the question.

There is a reason for being the person I am now, just as there is a reason for doing what I do.

When you stand on this premise, the assumptions that create you become the factors that keep you as you are, for better or worse.

I want you to first face your current state and situation squarely, and think about what the benefits or purposes are for being the person you are.

You will surely be able to think of some reason.

If you don't realize that first, you probably won't be able to keep up with trying to change your actions, and even if you think you want to earn a certain amount, a day will come when you are pulled back by the feeling that 'it's not really that important.'

Knowledge is also necessary.

Action is, of course, also necessary.

However, what kind of self was that action created from?

The essential thing is what kind of way of being that action was born from.

That is why, before saying you want to change or don't want to change, I really want you to think about this: If you are choosing to be the person you are now, what is your purpose in doing so?

Please try to think about it.

The hints for changing yourself should surely be there.

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