〈No.23〉親友との別れと決心 Farewell to a Dear Friend, and a New Resolve

English follows Japanese.

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彼の病気については、友人の母より聞いた。狭い街で中学教師であるがため、噂が広まるのは早い。
知った瞬間に電話した。
「お前死ぬのか？」
「分からない」
その後は無言で電話越しで2人して泣いていた。

「縦隔原発性腺外胚細胞腫瘍 絨毛がん」
症例数は少なく当時治療方法も確立していない。わかっていることは完治することは困難ということ。

明るい性格で直向き、何よりも熱い志をもった男だった。失礼を承知で言うが、高校時代に上手い選手ではなかった。しかし、人望は厚く、彼のことを嫌いな人は1人もいないだろう。
夢は「自分の教え子からプロサッカー選手を輩出する。」
大学時代に遊び呆けていた私と違って、大学の頃から自分の夢に向かって突き進んでいた男だ。

そんな彼に稀な病気を与えた神様を本気で憎んだ。本気で自分と変わって欲しいと思った。

お見舞いにもよくいった。重大な病気に関わらずいつも明るく、夢を語る。薬の副作用で辛いはずなのに弱音は一切吐かない。

そんな彼の背中を見ていると、現状の私に対して怒りを覚える。このままで良いのか？
この頃から自分の人生でやりたいこと何なのか、真剣に考えるようになった。衰弱していく彼の容態と引き換えに。

2018年10月6日
彼は天国へ去っていった。

彼の想いを背中に、私はカナダへ留学することになる。

※This post has been shared with the consent of his family.
As it contains sensitive personal matters, I kindly ask that you refrain from unnecessary speculation or intrusion into privacy.

I learned about his illness from a friend’s mother.
It was a small town, and since he was a junior high school teacher, news spread quickly.
The moment I heard, I called him right away.

“Are you going to die?”
“I don’t know.”
After that, we both cried silently over the phone.

The diagnosis was primary mediastinal extragonadal germ cell tumor (choriocarcinoma).
It was an extremely rare case, with no established treatment at the time.
All we knew was that a full recovery would be difficult.

He was cheerful, sincere, and above all, a man with a burning passion.
To be honest, he wasn’t the most skilled player back in high school.
But everyone admired him — there wasn’t a single person who disliked him.
His dream was “to raise one of his students to become a professional soccer player.”
Unlike me, who wasted my university days playing around, he had been chasing his dream from early on with unwavering determination.

When I learned about his illness, I truly resented God.
I desperately wished I could take his place.

I visited him often.
Despite the severity of his condition, he always smiled and talked about his dreams.
Even though the side effects of the medication must have been unbearable, he never once complained.

Watching his unshakable strength made me reflect on myself.
“Is this really how I want to live?”
As his body weakened, I began to think seriously about what I wanted to do with my own life — something I had never done before.

And then—
On October 6th, 2018, he left this world.

Carrying his spirit on my back, I decided to go study abrod in Canada.