NPD Theater: Ice Rehearsal | Act Ten

The actors gather for the stage rehearsal.
I feel their gazes, but I do not meet their eyes.
Slowly, I brush off the dust and open the script.

My eyes remain fixed on the script.
The busyness of the past few days crosses my mind.
Yet, the stage awaits me again tonight.

I turn my attention to the actors' performance and speak of my ideals.
For some reason, their acting seems cold.
However, I do not voice this.

One actor asks if I am cold.
I am bewildered and exasperated.
And so, I reply that I am not.

Another actor offers me coffee, saying it is cold today.
That consideration, for some reason, irritates me.
I repeat my answer: I am not cold.

Before I know it, the stage is covered in thin ice.
I sigh at the actors' performances as they look like they might fall.
I simply speak of my ideals, telling them not to ruin the stage.

Commentary

In this act, the 'twisted attitude' peculiar to NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder), known as 'sullenness,' is depicted through the allegorical scene of a stage rehearsal. The protagonist, an NPD individual who is also the stage director, does not make eye contact with the actors and simply begins preparations in a detached manner. She believes she is merely tired, but the actors sense a sullen atmosphere within that silence. As the rehearsal begins, a tense air spreads across the stage, and the protagonist issues harsh instructions. However, she has no intention of being angry; rather, she feels that 'the actors seem more sullen.' Gradually, the cast members begin to walk on eggshells around her, and their conversations become awkward and disjointed. Yet, while she finds this disconnect puzzling, she is unable to realize the impact her own attitude is having. As a result, the actors' performances lack vitality, the atmosphere grows even colder, and the protagonist's ideals fall on deaf ears.

Afterword

The sullenness of NPD manifests not in words, but in attitude. Even if the person does not intend to be angry, those around them feel the need to be careful, and silence spreads. At that moment, a 'projection' is unconsciously at work within the NPD individual's mind: 'I am calm, and it is actually the other person who is at fault.' To look away from the true causes—fatigue, irritation, or the gap between reality and their ideals—they make someone else the villain. As this projection is repeated, the consideration of those around them becomes expected, and the perception that 'it is natural for them to sense my mood' and 'I am right' is reinforced within the NPD individual. In other words, the arrogance of NPD is a trait naturally acquired through the repeated cycle of sullenness, projection, and the consideration of others. At first glance, this 'sullenness' of NPD is often thought to be a clever, conscious manipulation of others, but it is important to know that such a perception is not necessarily always correct.