Reasons for Sexless Relationships and Keys to Resolving Them: Insights from a Survey of 3,000 People
In our previous two articles, we introduced the reality of sexless relationships among Japanese couples based on a survey of 4,000 people.
However, that survey did not indicate why these relationships became sexless.
In this article, we will clarify this using a 2023 survey conducted by Hamamatsucho First Clinic, which targeted 3,000 men and women aged 20 to 49.
We hope that those struggling with a sexless relationship will find this helpful for understanding their partner.
1. What are the reasons or triggers for becoming sexless?
[For Men] Top 6 Reasons for Becoming Sexless
1st: Because childcare and housework became busy (25.2%)
2nd: Because my partner does not seek sex (18.9%)
3rd: Because my partner refuses when I seek sex (17.1%)
4th: Because my or my partner's work became busy (13.9%)
5th: Because we both do not need sex (11.9%)
6th: Because I lost my sexual desire (11.1%)
[For Women] Top 6 Reasons for Becoming Sexless
1st: Because childcare and housework became busy (30.5%)
2nd: Because I lost my sexual desire (23.1%)
3rd: Because my partner does not seek sex (17.4%)
4th: Because we both do not need sex (16.3%)
5th: Because I can only see my partner as family (13.4%)
6th: Because my or my partner's work became busy (10.5%)
For both men and women, the most common reason for becoming sexless was"Because childcare and housework became busy."
The increase in working women is likely reflected in these results.
For women,"Because I lost my sexual desire"was the second highest, and it is thought that many people lost their sexual desire as a result of their interest in sex fading due to the busyness of childcare and housework.
Also, the reason "I can only see my partner as family" is in 5th place, but I personally hear this often as a reason from the woman's side.
On the other hand, looking at the voices from the men's side,"Because my partner refuses when I seek sex"is ranked high.
This may also be caused by men having selfish sex without satisfying their partners.
2. What are the triggers for resolving a sexless relationship?
Next, let's look atthe triggers for resolving a sexless relationship.We surveyed and compiled data in two patterns: "People who have resolved a sexless relationship in the past but are currently sexless" and "People who have resolved a sexless relationship in the past and are not currently sexless."
[Currently sexless, but 'have resolved a sexless relationship in the past']
1st: For the purpose of having children (27.3%)
2nd: Because I talked to my partner about the sexless relationship (18.8%)
3rd: Because childcare settled down (12.4%)
4th: Because I made an effort to get my partner to like me (12.1%)
5th: Because I tried to become a good understanding partner (10.9%)
6th: Because I increased opportunities for dates (9.4%)
[Not currently sexless, and 'have resolved a sexless relationship in the past']
1st: Because I talked to my partner about the sexless relationship (23.1%)
2nd: Because childcare settled down (18.3%)
3rd: Because I tried to become a good understanding partner (16.5%)
3rd: For the purpose of having children (16.5%)
5th: Because I increased opportunities for dates (10.8%)
6th: Because I made an effort to get my partner to like me (10.3%)
For 'people who have resolved a sexless relationship in the past but are currently sexless,'the most common trigger for resolution was
"for the purpose of having children."
The most common reason for becoming sexless is that "housework and childcare became too busy," and it is thought that in many cases, while the sexless state is resolved through fertility treatment, it becomes sexless again due to the busyness of childcare and housework after childbirth.
For those who "have resolved a sexless state in the past and are not currently sexless," the most common reason for becoming sexless is the same as for those currently in a sexless state: "housework and childcare became too busy," but the most common reason for resolution is "because I talked with my partner," followed by "because child-rearing settled down" and "because I tried to become a good understanding partner." is the result.
What this "becoming a good understanding partner" means is not directly clear from the survey. In terms of listening to a partner's opinions and respecting their requests, it could be said to be the same as the number one reason, "talking it out."
While there are many technical tips overflowing in the world regarding resolving sexless relationships, I believe that this "talking it out" is more important than anything else.
That said, talking about sex as a married couple is not an easy thing to do.
In future articles, I would like to address the difficulties of such discussions and how to overcome them to engage in dialogue.
I would like to express my heartfelt sympathies to those affected by the recent Noto Peninsula Earthquake.
I pray that peaceful days will return as soon as possible.
================================================
I have an official LINE account❗
Every week, I deliver "action habits" and "quotes" that are useful for married life.
If you register now, I will give you a special video seminar
"The Real Cause of Deepening Rifts Between Couples That 90% of Couples Don't Notice"
as a gift🎁
▼▼▼▼Click the image to register▼▼▼▼
On note, I deliver psychological discussions that can lighten the worries of married life and lead to relationship improvement
on weekdays: Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
If you want to make sure you don't miss them, please follow me.
Also, if you press the "Like" button, it will encourage me to keep writing.
[Information on Free Online Sessions]
[Self-Introduction]
#Family #WayOfLife #MarriedLife #Divorce #Couple #MaritalRelationship #MarriedLife #ImprovingMaritalRelationship #CoupleQuarrel #MaritalRelationshipWorries #CouplesCounseling #Partnership #Psychology #MoralHarassment #PsychologicalCounseling #FutureFamilyForm