Discard Your 'Past Trauma' Right Now! A New 5-Minute Daily Mental Defense Habit
Introduction: Whose life did you play the lead role in today?
If I listen closely, what will the voice in my heart say to me?
...Hello, this is Papa-Zo.
It's getting warmer, isn't it?
If someone offered you either a
Ferrarioran iron-clad mentality, which would you choose?
Papa-Zo would choose the iron-clad mentality.
This time, we're talking aboutthe savior of mental health, Adlerian psychology.
'I wonder if I shouldn't have said that...'
'Thatlook on my boss's face, definitely means they'reangry at me, right?' The '
solo reflection meeting' held while staring at the ceiling in bed late at night.
The only participant ismyself, yet it's astorm of criticism. Are you spending your nights like that? For a long time, we have been taught that '
the reason I am suffering now' is because of 'past experiences (trauma) or my environment'.
If you find the emotional wounds and clarify the cause, you will be saved...
Such 'etiology' is the common sense of the world. However,
world-wide sales of over 13 million copiesthe source of 'The Courage to Be Disliked',Alfred Adler, denies this 'common sense' with brutal honesty. '
Trauma does not exist.' If you felt angry hearing this, thinking, 'How cold!' That's understandable. But please, think about it for a moment. Are you like a superhero in a global defense force trying to keep the peace in the entire universe so as not to upset others,shouldering all the responsibility yourself
? That cape is too heavy; the world won't end if you take it off. This time, I will present the shortest route to break free from the '
curse of causality' thatwears down your heart
' andgraduate from days spent walking on eggshells around others.
Let's experience the feeling of the fog lifting, realizing, 'Oh, my life was this free all along.'
The 'two pitfalls' that wear down your mental health and their solutions
Pitfall 1: The comfortable curse of 'etiology' that uses the past as an excuse
We tend to unconsciously think, 'Because something like that happened in the past, I am no good now'.
This is called 'etiology' and while it seems logical at first glance, it actually hasfrightening side effects.
That is, ittraps you in a cage of helplessnesswhere 'as long as the past doesn't change, the current me cannot change either'.
[Solution] Abandon 'why' and rewrite it with 'for what purpose'
Adlerian psychology’s true essence is 'teleology’.
Instead of 'I can't take on challenges because I lack confidence' (etiology),' we interpret it as 'I am creating a state of lacking confidence because I don't want to take on challenges and get hurt' (teleology).' It may sound harsh, but this is also the '
ultimate hope' that 'if you change your purpose, you can rewrite your life from this very moment'.
Pitfall 2: Excessive sense of responsibility that carries the weight of 'other people's emotions'
According to the latest survey released in January 2026 [9], data shows that 84.6% of subordinates feel a serious 'gap in perception' with their superiors.
Other people's evaluations and moods are like the weather.
No matter how hard you try, it is an area that is uncontrollable.
Yet, if you trample into other people's hearts asking 'Why don't you understand me?', or conversely walk on eggshells to avoid upsetting them, your mental health will definitely wear down.
[Solution] Draw a 20-centimeter boundary for your heart with 'Separation of Tasks'
The strongest defense technique advocated by Adler, that is '
Separation of Tasks.' '
Who ultimately bears the consequences brought about by that choice? 'Ask yourself this. Your boss being in a bad mood is 'the boss's task
,' and you do not need to feel responsible. You doing your job sincerely is 'your task,' but how that is evaluated is 'the other person's task.' Just by drawing this boundary, you will realize that most of your relationship worries are,
in fact, not your problem'But if I draw such a line, won't people think I'm cold?' 'If I do something like separation of tasks, won't I become isolated from those around me?' Such anxieties cross your mind, don't they? Japanese people, in particular, live in a culture that values harmony. However, the 'courage to be disliked' that Adler speaks of is not about attacking someone.
' Do not hand over the reins of your life to others' is what that determination means. In fact, according to recent research (2022) [16], it has been proven that people who are treated in a way that encourages independence while maintaining
an appropriate distance from others (separation of tasks) have higher self-acceptance and are less prone to depression. A truly good relationship is
not about depending on each other, but rather, after acknowledging 'I am me, and you are you,' without seeking anything in return sharing the feeling of 'being useful to someone' (contribution to others).
Conclusion: What you can do in 5 minutes starting today
You have really worked hard until now to meet the expectations of those around you.
There is no need to blame yourself anymore.
Give yourself permission to break the chains of the past and set down the burden known as the expectations of others.
[What you can do in 5 minutes starting today]
Tonight, before you go to sleep, put down your smartphone and get a pen and paper.
Write down the vague anxieties you felt today, and next to them, draw a line asking, 'Is this my task? Or is it that person's task?'
(Example) 'The reply to the LINE message I sent to Person A is late.'
→ Whether or not to reply is ' Person A's task'.
How you spend your time while waiting is ' my task'.
With just this, you will be surprised to find that over 80% of your mental burden was ' not yours to begin with'.
'From tomorrow, whose approval will you seek, and whose life will you live?'
The pen to write the script of your life is, right now, in your hands.
[Citations and References]
[1] Ichiro Kishimi, Fumitake Koga, 'The Courage to Be Disliked', Diamond Inc.
[3] PIVOT Official Channel, '[13 Million Copies Sold Worldwide: The Courage to Be Disliked] Interview with Fumitake Koga'
[6] Sei Consulting Group, 'Applying Adlerian Psychology to Mental Health'
[8] Diamond Official Channel, 'Ichiro Kishimi x Fumitake Koga Interview: Teleology as Free Will'
[9] PHONE APPLI Inc., 'Survey on Communication with Supervisors and Sense of Growth as Seen by Subordinates' (Announced January 29, 2026)
[10] Daicomi, 'What is the Meaning of Separation of Tasks? Solutions Useful for Work and Parenting'
[16] Shin-Sun Kang, Kensei Miyamoto (2022), 'A Study on the Effects of Community Feeling on Social Adaptation and Mental Health', Bulletin of the Faculty of Education, University of Toyama.
*This article uses Amazon Associate advertisements.
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