After reading "WE BEGIN AT THE END" by Chris Whitaker

Last October, Hayakawa Publishing held a sale on the Amazon Kindle store, and while there were many interesting books, I held back because I already had a huge pile of unread books in both paper and digital formats.
I knew that even if I bought them here, I would have to read about 5 million characters' worth of other books before I could get to them.

I managed to resist that way, but when I went back to take a look, thinking, "Well, just a peek won't hurt...", I saw something and thought, "Oh? This looks interesting," and ended up buying it.

Chris Whitaker's "We Begin at the End"

I couldn't read it until March (because those 5 million characters were standing in my way), but when I finally did, it was a huge hit. I've forgotten how good the sale was, but that doesn't matter anymore.

It's a story where bad things ripple out from a tragic incident 30 years ago, with 13-year-old Duchess and her younger brother Robin at the center, a heartbreaking tale where misfortune begets misfortune.
Honestly, it's such a heartbreaking story that I hesitate to even say, "This book is interesting."
But it is incredibly interesting. Why is that?

Amidst constant misfortune, the young girl Duchess defines herself as an "outlaw" and acts to protect her brother no matter what. She doesn't shy away from violence or illegal acts to do so.
Walker, the police chief (though the staff consists only of himself and a dispatcher) and best friend of Duchess's mother, cares for Duchess and Robin and protects them in various ways. He even overlooks Duchess's illegal activities. This is because if something were to happen to her, Robin would be left all alone.

Duchess and Robin's grandfather, Hal, also appears, and he's like Uncle Alp or Old Vitalis; even the rebellious Duchess slowly opens her heart to him. This part is agonizing for the reader, but it's very moving. It reminds me of Robert B. Parker's "Early Autumn."
Hal's immense love reaches Duchess, but that too is swept away by a sad event.

Duchess has no hope for anything. But she has a firm will and resolve to act for her brother's sake. It's cool. I want to be an "outlaw" like that, too.
But heartbreaking things keep happening one after another. The world gives nothing to her and Robin; instead, it only takes away what is precious to them. Duchess is reminded over and over again that life is not fair.

There is a line from Duchess that goes like this:

"Fairness means someone is properly supervising things."

Duchess knows that no one is supervising fairness. Walker seems to think so too, and it looks like he is shifting the weights on the scale to get as close to fairness as possible.
However, Walker himself is suffering from a progressive illness, and by the end, he is battered and bruised, acting as if he is whittling away his own life. It's a development that reminds me of "The Happy Prince."

It was such a heartbreaking story, but the scene where Duchess sings in the bar was moving.
It was a song she learned from hearing her mother sing it, and she didn't even know the title, but when she started singing, the customers in the bar fell silent and listened. Her mother, Star, was a beautiful singer, and the once-hardened Duchess had inherited that beauty and singing ability. In this unfair world, she had indeed received "something good" from her mother.
The song Duchess sang is a very famous one, even I own a CD of it, and I ended up listening to it over and over, feeling like I was about to cry.
The original title is "WE BEGIN AT THE END." It's a phrase that's hard to understand if translated literally, but it seems to mean starting over from where things ended, representing the cycle of life. I see.

It was a story where heartbreaking events occurred one after another, but it has still become a novel I love very much.